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Rant

independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
I just need to rant somewhere.

I’ve had such a shit week, everything that could go wrong has. I’ve been feeling really physically unwell lately, I’m exhausted all the time and I have a lot of pain in my back and shoulders that I just can’t get rid of. I’ve got to go for blood tests tomorrow to find out if there’s a physical cause, but if not, my GP wants to assess my mental health again and look at my meds.

The other night I went out for a couple of drinks with my dad, I was drinking well within my limit but as we were just about to leave the pub I had a funny turn and completely passed out. I needed 2 people to help me across the road to get home then I couldn’t stand up at all because I was so dizzy. We had to ring 999 and I was taken to hospital in an ambulance, where they thought it might have been an interaction with my medication. It was so frightening and I’ve never had anything like it, it was what I would imagine being spiked would feel like, but I know I wasn’t spiked because I was in my local pub and it was just me, my dad and the lady at the bar. My mum didn’t believe how much I’d had to drink and she seemed really angry even though she said she wasn’t.

Yesterday my mum tested positive for covid, and I wondered if I was positive too and it was contributing to everything, but I’ve had 2 negative lateral flow tests and a negative PCR. I’m obviously relieved I’m negative but at the same time I thought I had a possible explanation, but I don’t and I’m still in limbo.

I just feel like I’ve had a massive setback and it’s all making me feel really low, and I was feeling low anyway and had been speaking to the mental health nurse. I had a complete breakdown after what happened the other night because I was so scared and no one was believing it wasn’t just the alcohol. My sleep has been terrible even though I’m exhausted, I’d hardly left the house for ages and then when I did to go and do something fun, it went wrong. Like everything does.

Don’t really know what my point is here I just need someone to acknowledge this because I can’t stop overthinking and don’t feel like many people are listening.
“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”

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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @independent_ Sorry to know that you're not doing okay lately. It sounds like a lot going on in your life, and it is frustrating to not have people listening to you. Sending virtual hugs.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    It's totally fine that you wanted to have a rant here @independent_ everyone needs to get things off their chest sometimes and I'm glad you felt able to talk about what you've been going through. This all sounds very frustrating and it's totally understandable that you'd been feeling low because of this, hopefully it's just a temporary setback and you'll be feeling better before too long. <3

    Unfortunately sometimes our bodies don't react the way we're used to to things like alcohol especially if you're on certain medications like you'd mentioned, try not to beat yourself up too much about it since you're totally not to blame these things happen to everyone! I'm glad that you're talking to your GP about all this already hopefully they'll be able to help you going forward, feel free to keep us all updated with how it goes. :)
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thank you both @Kate_20 @Riley means a lot that you took the time to read and reply to this.

    I’ve had another tough day just feeling awful and really tired. I’ve tested negative again so hopefully if I test negative tomorrow morning I can still go for my appointment. The nurses are all lovely and I need to not spend 10 minutes ranting to them about my life story :lol:

    I just feel like I’m disappointing people right now because I’m not doing much and I still feel like I wasted NHS time the other night. My life has just gone to complete shit recently.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    AnneFrypanAnneFrypan Posts: 335 The Mix Regular
    Hi independent,

    I am sure you are not disappointing people by not doing much. Those around you should understand that these things happen and we all go through bad patches from time to time. I also believe you didn't waste the NHS's time they are here to help anyone who needs it and you are certainly not to blame for the unexpected.

    I hope you feel better soon.
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thank you @AnneFrypan it’s nice to see you back on here <3

    I had a better night sleep but I still feel completely exhausted and like I could sleep again right now. I need to do another lateral flow test and hope it’s negative so I can go to my appointment. Which I’m kinda nervous for in case I faint again and I have to go in by myself cuz of covid.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @independent_

    Just wanted to check in and offer you some hugs and let you know we are always here for you :heart:

    How are you feeling today? :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thank you @Stephanie <3

    I’m stressed atm because mum has covid and really isn’t well with it so I’m having to do a lot around the house. Dad has arthritis too so he can’t do much. It’s really exhausting but I need to help them.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Community Champion Posts: 817 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey independent,
    Things sound really tough at the moment and I'm really sorry to hear that. But I am glad you've shared it with us, you never have to deal with these thoughts alone, I know it doesn't change what's going on but always happy to listen elle.

    I hope you and  your mum feel better soon, and that you get answers soon. It's good to hear that the nurses are nice, and I'm sure they don't mind listening to you vent. They must understand how important it us to get things off your chest.
    How are you feeling today?
    You're awesome!
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Heyy @SpaceOtter thanks for your lovely comment.

    I’ve now got covid so I’m feeling pretty ill and I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well at all. So a bit low if I’m honest but I’m just trying to relax a bit.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Oh dear @independent_ I'm sorry to hear that. :( I hope you're able to relax and take care of yourself so you can feel better soon.
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    @independent_ really hope you recover from the covid soon, so sorry to read that you’ve been so poorly and it sounds like things have been tough mentally too.
    How are you feeling today? 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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