vent what i think

ellie2000

i say ppl 'sir, can u r-pe me?' they go 'Y?' then i say 'i wanna feel something' or i run into the road nd the cars stop
wats wrong with me

Brookee

Hey @ellie2000
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of trauma right now. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, we're here for you. I'm also wondering if you've been able to talk to your GP about these feelings and the difficult emotions you're dealing with in relation to past trauma you've been through. You deserve support. You can always contact Rape Crisis if this is something you feel comfortable doing, they have online support but also a phone number you can ring, I've added the link here for you if this is something you feel would be beneficial for you: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/
I'm also wondering if you have anything you've tried in the past other than walking into the road, that has helped you deal with this numbness before?

Lucy307

Oh Ellie I’m sorry you are struggling right now. It sounds like you can recognise that you are trying to feel / deal with numbness by putting yourself in risky situations. Is this something you’ve talked through with anyone before? Do you want to talk a little more about it here?

ellie2000

i had a therapy but tht was for issues, i like to hav an issue one at a time, but therapists know wen im avoiding subjects, its hard to errrmmmm......

ellie2000

the first therapist (trainee) i had, had odd techniques, which bought demons up, n today get told to 'just cope' i dont hav the strength to cope with my head stuff.

Brookee

Hey @ellie2000
That sounds really dismissive to be told to just cope with everything you're dealing with. It makes sense to only want to discuss one thing that you're dealing with at a time. This is your therapy journey, and it should be on your terms and within your own boundaries. Have you been able to say anything to this therapist about the fact that you can't currently cope with everything you're dealing with on your own. It's perfectly normal and understandable to want and need support when dealing with so much!

ellie2000

monday i talked about the flashback about the train

ellie2000

sometimes i want poisoness gas to fill the world

ellie2000

or us to b wiped out

Brookee

@ellie2000 I'm really sorry to hear that you're dealing with so much at the moment, It's understandable to want some relief from these feelings. How did the convo go on Monday about those flashbacks? Don't feel like you have to share with us, but you're welcome to talk through it if you think it would help you, Ellie.