Relationship advice?

Former Member

So my partner and his best mate were round. His best mate on tinder. He asked for some advice saying he's been talking to a girl, she sent him a topless image and whether or not he should continue baring in mind he's never met her. My partner said no.
His best mate then said you know her she's on the discord it's liz. Of which my partner went oh then yeah!

How should I feel about this? 😐

Former Member

@Willow It's okay to feel whatever you feel towards this situation! Your feelings are and always will be valid! How do you feel? Remember this is a safe and non-judgmental environment, and we're all here for you!

Former Member

I'm not sure. I guess I didn't know how to feel about it at the time only that I knew it bothered me. Because to me if someone sends you a nude and you not met the person or established any kind of relationship (personally sending nudes regardless is a big no no) then thats a red flag. But my partner new this girl and therefore had an idea of how big or small she is up top.

I am very small and it made me feel inadequate and not good enough cause I'm small whereas I bet she isn't.

Like how did him knowing her make that situation suddenly OK?

Former Member

Hi @Willow,

I understand that that was tough for you to hear and so you are unsure how to feel as it bothered you at the time. I always feel communication is key and wondered if you have been able to speak to your partner about this?

I know there must be a lot of questions and it's also not nice to be put in a situation where you feel inadequate. I wonder if maybe he thought it was ok for his best friend to continue chatting on tinder with her as it's a familiar person and so there may be more trust there than if his best mate was talking to someone who he's never met who has just sent this image out of the blue.

Former Member

Hiya @Willow

I absolutely agree with @Friendlyneighbour that communication is key. If something in your relationship is bothering you, it's usually a good idea to try and talk it through.

I can relate to you in terms of the small chest thing, it's something I used to be really insecure about too. However, as difficult as it can be sometimes, I think it's always best to try not to compare yourself to others. After all, in a relationship, your partner should love you for who you are, and that includes your physical appearance.

I'll be here for support if you ever want to vent again!

Wishing you the best,
A

Former Member

Hi all,

Thanks for the support it means a lot to know that what I am feeling isn't an over reaction.
I did talk to him about it, and from what it sounds like it was more a recognition that they knew the person. And has reassured me that he still loves me and me as a person as well as my physical appearance.

I think it may be a guy and gal different because to me at the end of the day regardless whether or not he knew the person, she sent a topless photo to someone she didn't know and to me that still a red flag.

Former Member

Hi again @Willow

I'm so glad you were able to talk it though with him! And yeah, I sort of get what you mean about the photo thing, because as a girl I'd definitely side with your opinion more too