I am a piece of rubbish (TW: about death)

Kate_20

I hate whining about my unimportant problems. My internet is really slow and it cannot be fixed. My friend wants to kill people to protect me (he is mentally unwell as well) and I feel guilty. I am worried about the situation. My degree is out of control. I am too overwhelmed to find a job. I am a crying mess. I am a piece of rubbish. I should be thrown in the bin.

Brookee

@Kate_20 No problems are too small to vent about my lovely! Whatever is upsetting you is always valid and we are always here to listen to you! I'm really sorry about your internet, is there nothing that can be done by your provider to help speed it up?

Has your friend been able to access any mental health services that can support him during this time? Remember your feelings are valid and you feel what you feel, so don't feel ashamed or guilty about these.

When you say your degree is out of control? Do you feel able to express more about this situation?

I would just like to reiterate that you are important, and your mental health is really important. Be gentle with yourself and take things at your own pace, sometimes we need longer than our peers but that doesn't mean we are worth less than them. When you talk about needing a job, is this something that you desperately need? Or is there anyway that you can be financially supported during this time until your mental health is in a better place?

Sending you a lot of love, and remember you mean a lot

Kate_20

@Brookee Thanks for the suggestions. I asked for help again and the internet is a bit better now. Not sure how it would be like tomorrow. Yeah he is receiving mental health support but I think the system failed him. I failed to graduate on time. I can barely recognise myself right now. I desperately need a job and there is no alternative. I don't think my mental health would ever get better so there is no point in waiting for it to get better. I just have to learn to live with it or I can die one day for a good reason.

Brookee

@Kate_20 Of course! I'm glad that they helped with your internet issues! I'm so sorry to hear that, unfortunately there are such deep flaws within mental health services at the moment, often due to lack of funding. I'm so sorry he's having to go through this with little to no support from mental health services. Does he have any support from his GP?

I'm so sorry! Is there any chance you can graduate next summer? It sounds like you're going through a really difficult time right now. Have you got access to any mental health services that can help you? They may be able to help you get funds to help in the mean time whilst you're working on your recovery. Recovery is possible, I know it's really hard to see that when the negative feelings and emotions are so overwhelming, but it truly is possible. I have been through a time where I felt like there was no way out, and I just want you to know that it can happen. I know it can, and I believe in you and your abilities. I know it seems bleak right now, but you have so much ahead of you, and look at how far you've already come. Whether you graduated on time or not doesn't matter, the fact you tried your best with the circumstances you were going through, and even getting to the end of University is a massive, massive achievement. University is difficult at the best of times, let alone when you're not well! You really are doing amazingly and I believe in you!