Controlling Mom I think

Former Member

Hi guys so as some of you may know I have a wheelchair and it’s my birthday next Thursday and like I feel like my mom is being too controlling with me like I haven’t been going out since I was small with my friends because she is so antisocial and it stops me from going out and having fun. Like she cancelled my birthday party because she don’t like socialising that’s the reason I think and also because she couldn’t be bothered to find other hall to book it.
So apparently she said I can go to the hairdressers to get my hair done but to be honest I’ve always told her on my 18th birthday I would like to spend it with my friends and she always said yes ok. So I feel like she’s ruined everything for my birthday. Also my mom is a bit two faced also. She dosent let me go out on my electric wheelchair on my own and have my own freedom for once.
The school also said I should go out on my own now because I’m old enough.
I want to have my own freedom whenever I like🥺

Former Member

@_Tech_Addict_Girl Hiya!

I'm really sorry to read that you're going through a tough time right now. That seems really difficult to cope with. I wonder if you've tried explaining how you feel to your mum? I know this isn't always a viable option, particularly if you feel like she's controlling you. It must feel very lonely not being able to socialise with your friends, and I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to spend time with them. I think it's important for you to express your boundaries with your mum and remind her that you're turning 18, and you're entitled to make your own decisions, even if these don't necessarily meet your mums.

I'm so sorry your birthday party has been cancelled, is there anyway it can be sorted out in time? I understand this must be really difficult and frustrating to deal with. I think maybe the issue here is she may be feeling very overprotective of you, which unfortunately is negatively affecting you and your life. I wonder if you've spoken to a counsellor or a GP, who could maybe reiterate the fact that going out on your own and socialising will benefit you and your mental health? Having a professional say it to her may help her shift her viewpoint, and give you a little more freedom.

Again, I am really sorry that you're dealing with such a difficult time right now, and I really do hope things get a little easier and you have a wonderful birthday next week.

Sending you so much love

Former Member

I'm really sorry to read that you're going through a tough time right now. That seems really difficult to cope with. I wonder if you've tried explaining how you feel to your mum? I know this isn't always a viable option, particularly if you feel like she's controlling you. It must feel very lonely not being able to socialise with your friends, and I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to spend time with them. I think it's important for you to express your boundaries with your mum and remind her that you're turning 18, and you're entitled to make your own decisions, even if these don't necessarily meet your mums.

Hi @Brookee ❤️yes it is actually difficult to cope with and no I haven’t tried talking to her the only reason that is is because I know she will say no I’m not and all that so really there is no point. Yes I mean like it is annoying I can’t hang out with friends outside of a learning environment and I’m pretty sure I’m old enough now to go out and about and as you sans I’m going to be 18 so she can’t make decisions for me all my life and I know she probably won’t like it but it’s just the way it is now.

I did ask her about to sort my birthday party again and she said it will be too late now to do it so unfortunately I’m not having a birthday party. I don’t think she can help it being overprotective but it just gets annoying all the time.

I spoke to my teaching assistant about it and she’s working on my mom with me so that is good so fingers crossed I will get freedom soon of my own.

Thankyou for the birthday wish ☺️❤️I hope you are ok

Sending virtual hugs 🤗

Former Member

@_Tech_Addict_Girl Hi!
That's more than fair, I understand that talking to her directly may not help you, I just hope that she can begin to see where you're coming from. I genuinely think it's coming from a place of love, maybe an overprotective kind of love, which isn't ideal and doesn't help you. That's true, it's important that she knows what your boundaries are because those are very important.

Your feelings and mental health are the biggest priorities here. I'm really sorry to hear that you're not able to have the birthday party you want. I hope it'll still be a lovely day for you though all the same! I completely empathise with you, it must be really difficult to feel independent when every decision is having to be run past your parent. Hopefully your teaching assistant will be able to provide some guidance for your mum, in a way that makes her understand and respect your boundaries!

Of course! I really do hope you have a wonderful day!

Sending you love