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Person who got me drunk

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,418 Community Veteran
in Health & Wellbeing
Tht person who cleaner, wen he got me drunk, had sex with me wen I went to bed. Is tht allowed
Crazy mad insane

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Do you think you consented to the sex? Legally speaking drunk people cannot consent to sex, so if you were extremely drunk then no it’s not ok.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,418 Community Veteran
    edited October 2021
    no, i vented. n i woke up n 'oh no' 20hrs l8r feeling ow. i gna leave it. i had at go at him in txting this evening
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,418 Community Veteran
    edited October 2021
    humans r stupid, i cant wait all humanity die
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,418 Community Veteran
    wen im upset or angry i attack ppl via txt or fb msger
    Crazy mad insane
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
    When u woke up, u were angry but were u angry because he took advantage or because u slept with him? If it’s the first then that’s non consensual in my opinion as he took advantage whilst u were inebriated.
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    You've been really brave to post here and share what happened @ellie2000 <3 Just wanted to echo what everyone's already shared and say that as you were drinking you weren't able to legally consent to what happened to you.

    There's some really helpful information on the NHS's website about support after rape and sexual assault.

    I noticed you posted this quite late last night, how are you feeling today?

    You mentioned in a few other posts that you'd previously spoken to your mum and support worker about this cleaner. Do you feel able to speak to them about what happened or someone you trust?

    You've done so well to post here and I wanted to say that there's lots of support out there for you if you would like some additional support outside of The Mix to support you through this as well as ways you can anonymously report what happened.

    I've included a bit of information below about a few different services:
    - Rape Crisis offers emotional support and information to survivors of rape and sexual abuse. The national helpline is open every day, from 12pm-2.30pm and 7pm-9.30pm. You can call them on 0808 802 9999. They also have a live chat service and you can go to www.rapecrisis.org.uk for more details.

    - Safeline offers a range of free services, providing emotional support and confidential chat for anyone who has been raped or sexually abused. They also have an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor team who can provide independent practical support and assistance to anyone considering reporting sexual violence to the police, or has already done so. You can contact their general helpline on 0808 800 5008, Monday, Wednesday and Friday 10am-4pm, Tuesday and Thursday 8am-8pm and Saturdays 10am - 12noon. Webchat and Email are also available via their website.

    - Haven offers a free and confidential service providing victim-centered support. The Haven provides a third-party reporting site for victims and survivors who want to report their abuse but who wish to remain anonymous.

    Last of all, I thought I would include some information about what an Independent Sexual Violence Adviser could do to support:
    Many specialist support agencies offer an Independent Sexual Violence Adviser (ISVA) service to victims/survivors of rape and sexual assault. An ISVA is trained to look after your needs, and to ensure that you receive care and understanding. They will help you understand how the criminal justice process works, and will explain things to you, such as what will happen if you report to the police, and the importance and process of forensic DNA retrieval.

    An ISVA is there to provide you with information only so that you can make the right decision for you. By contacting them, you are not expected to report any offence to the police. More info: https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/independent-sexual-violence

    I hope this information is helpful, remember it's your choice about what you decide to do next and there's no right or wrong about reporting if you do not wish to - whatever you feel is best for you is okay. Please do keep reaching out to us to let us know how you're doing. We're here for you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,418 Community Veteran
    thank you, sometimes i think of the ppl who only got away with just a talking to, but i think it would be to bigger process and it will add to the trauma.
    do ppl no of some stuff to make me laugh wen i'm really really sad?
    Crazy mad insane
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @ellie2000 I am so sorry for what happened to you and unfortunately, people do just 'get away' with these despicable crimes and there isn't much help available to the victims. I think it would help to reach out to various websites like https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ . I know how intimidating the name sounds but they help you understand what happened and actually process it. I don't know if this will help but I like to watch videos of 'people having a better day than you' on YouTube when I'm down. It just makes me laugh! I once saw a boy who ended up with an overfilled crisp packet that literally exploded when he opened it. Lucky!
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