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TW: How can I stop wasting time on suicidal thoughts?
Kate_20
Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
I find it quite unhelpful when I spend nearly 2 hours every morning in my bed thinking about how I should kill myself and why I should not be alive as well as worrying about things such as going to eat a snack or make a drink. I hate myself for wasting time on these thoughts. I did eventually pull myself out of bed to do the things but I could never have those two hours back. Any suggestions on how I can stop wasting time on suicidal thoughts as they are really not helpful?
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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Comments
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Try not to be too hard on yourself, or put yourself under pressure to be productive. It sounds like you've been going through a lot lately, so going through the day as if nothing's wrong would be a lot to ask of yourself.
Sending you love and hugs
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
I'm sorry that you have this feeling and that you start your day with these thoughts, it must be hard and very stressful.
Have you ever tried to call the Samaritans helpline? https://www.samaritans.org/
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
Something I would say is it's okay to allow yourself time to feel how you're feeling. If suicidal thoughts take up some time in your day, that's okay and you're not doing anything wrong. It might even be beneficial to spend time sitting with your feelings rather than fighting them.
That said, I'm hearing that spending time on suicidal thoughts feels like it's getting in the way of stuff in quite a practical way. Particularly when you said about extensions:
And I totally get this. I had a similar dilemma when I was studying as a teenager - I didn't want to keep asking for extensions and adjustments to things but also couldn't get stuff done. It's tough.
I have a question though - do you feel able to get through uni right now?
For the record, I think it's wonderful that you're alive @Kate_20 and I'm glad you haven't died. You bring a lot to the world and to this community, even if it doesn't feel that way.
If you find those thoughts of suicide creeping in, there are places you can go. I know you've said before that you're reluctant to use Papyrus and Samaritans because of things they've said.
Are there any crisis services you do feel comfortable contacting when you're in a bad place?
@Mike I really do want to get in touch with crisis services but I can't due to the current circumstances. I will first have to fix my phone and then consider it. I am just trying to express myself on this forum because I find it helpful to write down my feelings and then stop thinking about them for a while.
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
I think that we have a purpose in our lives. Even if it appears a bit unclear now, it doesn't mean that you don't have one.
I'm glad that you feel this community is a safe environment to express your fears and thoughts. Remember that we are here to support each other.
Many blessing.
Cosmo.