Driving Anxiety

Former Member

Hi everyone,
(Sorry mods if this is not the right place to post, I think it is but if not feel free to remove post)
I am learning to drive. I have a lesson a week with my instructor and I do practice with my dad as well. When I practive with my dad I am not anxious at all. But whenever I have a driving lesson I get anxious and I do not do aswell becasue if it. I think alot of it is performance based as I dont want to mess up in front of the instructor (even though I know its their job to correct my mistakes and teach me). It really annoying becuase I know I can drvie better but I just mess up becasue I get in my head about it. I would apperciate any advice about how others remain calm while driving, or when under alot of pressure.

Former Member

Hi, I hope you're having a good day today.
Well done on starting your driving lessons, what an exciting milestone to reach. Thank you for being so open with your feelings surrounding driving with your dad compared to your instructor. It's completely understandable to feel more anxious when having to drive with an instructor you haven't yet built a rapport with and in turn wanting to prove yourself as a good driver. However, everyone has to start somewhere and your driving instructor will not expect you to be perfect, mistakes are so common to make and their job is to correct them and help support you to do well.
I remember being very nervous during my driving lessons with my instructor, which quickly went as I began to feel more confident in my driving ability and learnt to let go of any negative thoughts and welcome the instructor's comments as constructive. It also really helped in my case to start up conversations which made me feel comfortable in their presence, seeing them as just another ordinary adult in comparison with someone I needed to impress.
You may feel more at ease taking up your lessons at a time where fewer drivers are on the road so you're less likely to feel pressure from other drivers or even perhaps consider changing instructors if you feel like these anxious feelings are happening around that instructor in particular.
I wish you the best of luck with combatting your anxious feelings and succeeding in your driving.

Former Member

Hi @SirArchibald

I have exactly the same experience as you. I don't have a full license yet but I've been learning to drive for around two years now (due to COVID), and done a driving test too. I've felt super nervous about driving since the beginning, and I've changed instructor.

I completely understand how you feel. I practise with my mum, and I was so comfortable and made little to no mistakes. It felt nice. Then whenever I got in my instructors car, I felt the same way as you and was stressed and felt like I made so many more mistakes with him.

The main thing that helped me was speaking to my instructor when I felt like I wasn't doing well. Do you find you get on well with your instructor? If so, I really recommend talking to him and maybe explaining how you feel. I felt like once I had told my instructor about my feelings, he was a lot nicer to me and reassured me that I was fine.

I don't know how long you've been driving for, but you can drive and operate the car if you've had a good amount of experience. I used to second guess myself and not make decisions which also caused me problems. My instructor told me to trust myself. I know it's stressful having them there watching you, but they are there to help you, and they want you to succeed!

Let me know how you're getting on! I'd love to know )
Good luck on your learning journey

Former Member

Hi @SirArchibald

Thank you for sharing your experience with us

I've been learning to drive for a long time because of driving anxiety, so I can totally relate to this. Only thing is I'm the other way round - fine with my instructor but so anxious with my parents!

I've started a journal about driving and it helps a lot. Writing down the roots of my anxiety - what is it that I'm actually worrying about with the driving? Writing down my feelings before and after lessons etc. I also like to use positive driving affirmation before a drive. I often say to myself things like "I am a calm, confident and controlled driver. I understand and follow the rules of the road. I feel calm and confident of my actions behind the wheel". It helps me - so perhaps worth a try for you too.

It's great that you are practicing with your dad as well as your instructor - I'm proud of you I hope that as you practice more and more, your confidence will boost more and more, you'll become more comfortable with your instructor and you'll thrive and succeed. I believe in you. Good luck!

(Side note: I actually swapped instructors after a while, as I was so anxious with the first. This one is a much better match which helps my anxiety so much. So that is always a consideration, whatever feels right for you )

Former Member

Hi @coc0mac @Past User @kimberley1907 thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I do think I just need time to get less anxious and adjust to my instructor, he is very nice and knows that I get anxious and i would like to try and stick with him as I've already changed instructor once ( my old one moved away). @kimberley1907 I do second guess myself alot when driving , but I will try to trust myself more as I know I can do most things well enough. I know that driving skills come with time but I really do appreciate what oyu guys have said, has made me feel much better

Former Member

It does all come with time and practice. And I found a lot of the time, one day things just clicked and my driving got a lot better. It will happen eventually. Just give yourself time to adjust to him and it should all fall into place.

I also still second guess myself now, but it's getting a lot better. I found that when I did my test, I stopped second guessing myself since I viewed it like I was all on my own, and I think that made me a lot more at ease. Just trust in yourself! Best of luck )