Me and my worries around sex.

Former Member

Hello,

I am currently away from my partner he says he really misses the sexual activity. i am so scared to tell him i am worried he may force me to do things ( he wont but previously it has been ) i feel a rubbish girlfriend after being with each other since we was in year 7 and i can't bring myself to say i am worried that i may get hurt again.

I love him to bits and he isn't the problem i got raped at 12 and i have not been settled during sexual intercourse when previously i have been hurt.
I sound so silly i'm 18 but i just want to be clear but worried that i am making a bad girlfriend of myself
he knows a little i find it hard but he doesn't know the full picture if that makes sense?

summer.

Former Member

Hey Summer, well done for sharing this. I know it can't be easy for you.

You've been through experiences that most people can't even begin to imagine. It's no wonder that you feel the way you do.

I know what you mean about feeling like you're a shitty gf - I literally used to try and drive my bf away because I wanted to be in control of when he left me, because in my mind he was always gonna leave anyway, it was just a matter of when.

I think us both coming from a background of trauma really does affect us in more ways than the typical ones. Relationships are hard and we feel worse about ourselves. It's important to remember that it's not your fault.

If you feel able to, it might be worth talking to your boyfriend about your feelings. I don't mean explicitly state that you think he's gonna force you but approach it lightly in a way you feel he will respond to.

Sending you all the hugs

Former Member

Anch0r33 wrote: »

Hey Summer, well done for sharing this. I know it can't be easy for you.

You've been through experiences that most people can't even begin to imagine. It's no wonder that you feel the way you do.

I know what you mean about feeling like you're a shitty gf - I literally used to try and drive my bf away because I wanted to be in control of when he left me, because in my mind he was always gonna leave anyway, it was just a matter of when.

I think us both coming from a background of trauma really does affect us in more ways than the typical ones. Relationships are hard and we feel worse about ourselves. It's important to remember that it's not your fault.

If you feel able to, it might be worth talking to your boyfriend about your feelings. I don't mean explicitly state that you think he's gonna force you but approach it lightly in a way you feel he will respond to.

Sending you all the hugs

thank you