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Hurtful and intense feelings

Hello guys, I have just recently got into a LDR and i'm struggling with very intense emotions. Relationships are very hard for me to begin with as i struggle with bpd (other name is EUPD).

BPD leaves me with all these intense emotions, happiness can be too much to the point its painful and sadness can feel like the whole world is ending. Anxiety is so bad that I feel my airways close and I puke. Fear of abandonment leaves me wanting to flee and leave my partner first and the intense need to do extreme tasks/actions to prevent them from leaving me. Does anyone else feel this way?


me and my partner had a tiny disagreement today and my head is racing, I have thoughts about him abandoning me, that i'm not good enough and the fear that he'll find someone a lot better. Even though I know this may not happen as I trust him, it still creeps itself into my mind and leaves me questioning his late replies, change in tone and attitude. I feel guilty for feeling this way and i'm not sure how to prevent these feelings from returning in the future. I also don't know how to communicate these issues because I fear he may not understand and I'm not very good at explaining certain things or wording them correctly. I also find that i keep assuming the worst and jumping to conclusions when its not needed.

Is there anyway to alleviate the symptoms of this disorder?



Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 11 Settling in
    Hi @Scrib I can see that it has been a couple of weeks since you posted this- how have you been getting on?

    The way BPD has made you feel sounds so intense and scary, especially when you feel yourself constantly questioning and jumping to conclusions. I'm sorry to hear that you have been experiencing such extreme anxiety, it sounds so distressing and I can see that it must be a really scary thing to experience. Have you thought about trying to explain things even a little to your partner? I feel like you have described your feelings quite well here- Perhaps you could try writing him a text or note if you're feeling too anxious to talk face to face. He may be more understanding than you think! Will always be here if you need to get anything off your chest!
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