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The break up help thread

awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
Hey guys

I thought about starting something like this to kind of reach out to others who are going through a similar situation and are feeling the way I'm feeling at the moment it doesn't have to be exactly the same but this is just for people who need help mentally with getting over break ups there probably is a thread similar to this but I thought I'd start one anyway and have a good talk about you guys experiences as well as mine!

I'll start so ive been going through a rough patch recently and I haven't dated anyone since my last one and I've been feeling about a thousand things at once I haven't been clinically diagnosed with depression but I know that's what I'm going through I can just tell but anyway I've been feeling super numb and angry like really angry I haven't shown it since I'm a pretty chill guy I'd say but I feel it and I feel like eventually it'll all come out and once and I've got a pretty good idea of what I'd say if it does eventually all come out but enough about me this is about you guys experiences so let me know about your experiences you don't have to if it'll make you upset but I'd be pretty excited to read and learn about yours

So stop by here if you ever wanna talk about your experiences I'd love to know and m


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    awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Continuation of last part

    And maybe learn about something to help me feel confident to start dating again
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    KalekaAKalekaA Posts: 34 Boards Initiate
    Hi @awesomeminecraft6789

    It’s perfectly understandable to feel upset and uncomfortable with the loss of someone who may have been part of your everyday life. Breakups can be very difficult to process. In my experience, that numbness to emotion can really bring you down. The key is to not let it keep you there. Let it motivate you.

    I see you are 17, this might be a perfect time to start going to the gym. Working on a six pack or bigger arms can do wonders for self-confidence. But don’t expect it to change anything with girls. If anything, you just get more attention from guys (not sexually just admiration I suppose)! Girls don’t often care about that but it can help you manage your own emotions and feel more confident around others. A good martial art like Brazilian jiu jitsu, judo or boxing can be great to help focus your mind. It worked in my case.

    In my limited experience, the time after a breakup is vital for your own growth. When I ended my last relationship ended I changed considerably. I became a lot more focused on myself, sometimes you won’t want the same thing from a relationship as someone else and that’s fine. What’s important is that you take your time and find out what you really want. You don’t need to go after the first person that shows interest in you. Conversely, If you want someone smart and attractive try and be that person yourself so your expectations are kept in check.

    An important thing to understand is that we are still very young. We might not find the right person until many years from now. And that is fine, if anything it’s more time to build up your own personal portfolio. What can you bring to a relationship and how can you be better? Girls will still be here when you finish your A-levels, university degree or whatever you decide to do. Maybe this stage of your life is just for you? Invest that time into yourself and find someone better.

    A lot of people our age rush relationships and it might work for some people but I believe it’s a lot more important to work on something long-term. Relationship are hard bloody work. If you put in minimal effort don’t expect much out of it. Put parenthood in perspective, can you see this person help raising your kids? If not, it’s probably best to move on. It can take a while, but take it in your stride and continue to develop yourself. I know how you are feeling, I’ve been there before but it gets better.

    Your partner should be your best friend before anything else, not just someone you like to look at!
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    awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Hi kaleka

    The break up has definitely changed me a lot I'd say and honestly I'm not bothered really about looks and all that what I look for in a relationship is someone who'll listen and you know really get to understand the real me before going the next step you know what I mean?

    I think for now at least I'm going to hold off on the whole relationship thing because even though I know I'm ready for that I don't want to end up worse off then I already am the hardest thing about this is she's in the same class as me we've gone back to being friends but I'm not sure if that makes It easier or harder I think the main reason I feel depressed is because I'm constantly beating myself up for the reason we broke up its stupid to hold onto it I know but it just feels right and I'm not sure why

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    KalekaAKalekaA Posts: 34 Boards Initiate
    @awesomeminecraft6789 its good to hear from you again. If it’s still making you upset it could be distracting you from studying and other important activities. I strongly suggest you start going to the gym or take up a sport to distract you from these emotions. The reason I feel it’s so important, especially during excessive emotional turmoil, is because you might have a rough day in school. Maybe you had an argument with a friend or miss your relationship. But you will always have this activity to go back to as a release for all that built up emotion. It’s also a place to meet people and make new friends, so I can’t really recommend it enough for your situation.

    It’s good that you’re taking a break. It’s what you need. You need to come to terms with your breakup. Even if it was a silly reason, she probably wasn’t right for you if such a reason led to your breakup. I don’t know how long ago this was but time will help you move on so don’t expect it to go away immediately. It’s important to just distract yourself in this period of frustration and confusion.

    How are you doing now? Have you taken up a hobby or seen a good show recently?
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