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His being blunt and all this is my fault š©
Former Member
Keep being you<3Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
Hi guys so I think Iāve ruined mine and my boyfriends relationship because I keep overthinking and thinking he is going to leave me and forget about me when he goes to collage btw itās a long distance relationship. I kind of said if we ever do break up I will be really hurt and upset and I do stupid stuff when Iām going thru a breakup which I wonāt go into to much detail because it is a TW so he said you seriously are just doing that so I donāt leave wtf. The thing is Iām not doing that so he donāt leave Iām doing it because Iām too emotional attached to him I love and care for that boy so much. We was meant to go to see each other on Saturday 4th but he doesnāt want to at the moment. He said I donāt feel the same way about you like I did before but his saying he still wants to be in a relationship with me. Someone please tell me how that works then?š.
He said if you stop saying shit like that then I maybe will come and see you but not at the moment.
I said it doesnāt feel the same it feels like your being blunt and then he said itās because I am thatās why
I donāt know what to do?š„ŗshould I just leave him now until he messages first
He said if you stop saying shit like that then I maybe will come and see you but not at the moment.
I said it doesnāt feel the same it feels like your being blunt and then he said itās because I am thatās why
I donāt know what to do?š„ŗshould I just leave him now until he messages first
3
Comments
Breakups can be difficult and even harder when you're doing things long distance because you have to put in extra effort to maintain that connection, I'm in one too so I can empathise with your worries. It's only natural to be scared of loosing somone you deeply care about. That being said, you've got to be super careful about how you word things like self harming as a result of somone choosing to leave a relationship. It puts the other person in a very unfair position and force the OP to stay in the relation in fear of you hurting yourself. It's very manipulative and a sliperry slope to head down.
I see him establishing very firm boundaries in my honest opinion and he's done the right thing in doing. I know you love him very much and what you said came from a place of fear but be mindful of how it might make another person feel.
Have a sit down chat with one and perhaps talk about how you can strengthen your relationship whilst moving through different stages of your lives but if he doesn't want to be in a relationship make sure that you get a clear answer from him and try to move on ā¤ļø
So I said to him you can break up with me if you want I wonāt hurt myself and I respect your decision if you do want to end it.
I am not like that I donāt like forcing people it just comes out my mouth when im too overwhelmed.
I said to him if your not happy in the relationship you can break up I told him how much I care about him also and said I will respect your decision.
Then after a few days he said Iāll give you one final chance if you break this chance then Iām going so I will try not to mess things up now ā¤ļø
I gotta rush into work, I'm on call but I'll get back to you in a bit. I've just been a bit poorly
I agree with @Lucy307, it must be very confusing for you at the moment. However, I think he just needs some time, he may be feeling a bit hurt at the moment and just want some time to himself to work through them emotions. You've owned up and told him that you shouldn't have said what you said, which is great.
Now that he has give you another change, treat it as a new chapter and leave behind any issues in the past you have already resolved with him. Also, trust can be built up again.
How are things with him now? Maybe he just needs a little more time.
Sending you love, I hope you are feeling okay today
I feel when youāre in a relationship you have to back yourself and trust yourself to be enough which is why the person is with you. At the end of the day, if your boyfriend didnāt like you- he wouldnāt be with you.
You are beautiful and you need to trust the relationship. If it is meant to be it will be.
I feel you may need to be careful with wording certain aspects. I understand the thought of a breakup can cause so many unwanted emotions however, it can put the other person in a difficult situation. You want them to be with you because they want to be, not due to feeling like they have to be.
I truly believe in fate and if things are going to work they will. If they donāt, you will be onto bigger and better things.
ā¤ļøā¤ļø
get better soon
My goodness i am so sorry. that has melted my heart
You ok? silly question but i gotta ask.
That is so unfair that you're his girlfriend and he treats you like that, giving up on a relationship ( when either the gf or bf feel differently ) then before is always hard. i am so sorry and i am going to be honest.
He doesn't deserve you, you don't need that you shouldn't be treated like that is it unfair and how disrespectful that he said that to you. it is hard to read this but i think moving on is best, he clearly has problems and long distance relationships are tough to trust each other ( i only know from the past ) you are not in the wrong by a mile he is the one in the wrong, you are putting effort, trust your time and loyalty and he is giving you a load of bullshit. i would move on, it hurts the aftermath is horrible but lovely he don't deserve you the way he is treating you is a red flag - here is a definition around reg flags in a relationship - https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/red-flags-in-relationships#:~:text=What is a red flag,makes you question the%relationship. if he doesn't like you it is his loss, you're beautiful and will find someone amazing who loves you for YOU! if this relationship is meant to be it will work out if not then it isn't your fault. you'll become an amazing girlfriend/wife to any man out there that will love and care for you you're gorgeous: wonderful: beautiful: and amazing: love you girl
You don't have to listen but my pm's are open feel free to message me i can help you ! take care,
Summer
That is totally understandable, and i get. you say you won't find a love in the future you may not think you may not but i am 95% sure you will!
if you need to come visit me at my depression discussion thread
love you too