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Update on my long distance relationship

_Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
edited August 2021 in Sex & Relationships
Hi guys so as you know I got into a long distance relationship I few weeks ago if you haven’t seen my last post I will try and put it in bold.
Hi guys so as you know I’ve had difficulty with long distance relationship but honestly I think I just found the one for me we talk on call/FaceTime everyday but the thing is I need your guys help with what we can do on FaceTime and what things we can do. I felt that I was ready to tell my mom about my long distance relationship because I just feel a spark with this person and I think he does too but I don’t know if his told his mom yet.
The only thing I’m really worried about is my thinking like when I get these thoughts in my head I feel like I will ruin everything. Me and him have been honest with each other and I have told him how I feel and he says I understand you was just a bit upset because I was last night. I think I kept him awake last night because I was worrying too much😣.
He said don’t worry it will eventually go away and he said I can’t really get the thought out of your head I can’t really say much it will just go away. Just my mind messes things up but when he says I’ve done nothing wrong it still is stuck in my head. I do believe this boy but I can’t get the thought out of my head. Also we literally know alot about each other so we don’t know what to talk about now or do any ideas. He just said I like talking to you but it’s boring sitting there doing nothing but apparently he won’t break up with me and he told me not to worry🥺❤️.
Any ideas what we can do would be much appreciated🤍

In the bold was my last post so from my last post I took all of your advice and ideas and I used them and on the day it seemed to work but some of the ideas I had he never liked so I’ve completely ran out of ideas. The only idea I couldn’t do was Netflix teleparty because I don’t have a very good desk top to do it on.
It just seems he gets bored easily and then I run out of ideas to do because he can never think of anything to do and because he can’t think of anything to do he just watches Netflix on his Xbox or plays his games on his Xbox and I get bored.
I have spoken to him about this but his the kind of person that gets really peed of at you over little stuff and then it starts arguments then because I’m bored and his watching his Netflix so we basically don’t do anything really half of the time also because we don’t know what to talk about now.
If I bring something up like feelings and that he says I already told you this I already told you that but I can’t help it I’m a big over thinker and that doesn’t help and he knows I have high anxiety and I panic alot he says stuff like I’m not happy and then he says he is happy and then he says I accuse him of stuff but then again it’s only because he gives me two different answers and dosent explain them answers to me so I be thinking about it for a long time then and then I can’t get it out of my head. The thing is he doesn’t explain his bad feelings to me even when I know he looks upset. I do try everything to make him happy but it just doesn’t work

Also he dose what to come to my house soon so I give him my mom’s number for him and my mom to arrange a date to come to my house and I gave her about a week ago and she still hasn’t answered him and she keeps saying she is and she doesn’t and I don’t know why she’s taking her time :( and I think waiting to long will ruin the relationship any advice on that?

I think I might have one reason why she is taking her time I think it’s because she fell pregnant with my brother at 17 and she doesn’t want me to do the same but she should trust me enough to know I wouldn’t do that. I would use protection if we was having sex because I don’t plan on getting pregnant right now. Any advice on that? It’s really making me angry that she can’t just reply back to him everyday she says she will and she doesn’t message him back 😩.

Thankyou for taking the time to read this💛
Post edited by _Tech_Addict_Girl on


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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    edited August 2021
    Also he says he has told his mom and his grandma about me but I don’t believe it because everytime his mom walks in he mutes the call
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    naominaomi Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl. It can be really frustrating when you are coming up with ideas and they aren't going as well as you hoped particularly if the other person (i.e. your boyfriend) isn't coming up with any himself. What I can suggest is that you should come up with ideas with your boyfriend. Maybe he likes to do other things than play on his Xbox and watch netflix and maybe he'll share that with you. This may also be a useful thing to do so when he comes to meet you, you'll have something to do. Hopefully this is good advice to give that helps :s=) .
    I think also if you and your mom have an open and honest conversation about your relationship she'll be more inclined to tell you if she is worrying. Maybe going up to her and genuinely asking "what are your thoughts on this relationship?", "do you have any worries about me being in a relationship?". Then, hopefully, you can talk to your mom about anything, share your thoughts and try to reassure her about your relationship if she is worried. You could also encourage her to talk to your boyfriend and maybe even encourage her to ask questions (maybe tell your boyfriend first so he is prepared) so she can feel reassured that her daughter is dating a good guy.
    Also I see that you are worried that he hasn't told his mom and grandma about your relationship and I think he totally should if he hasn't. A reason he might have told you otherwise was to stop you worrying which has clearly had the opposite effect. He may be hesitant for a number of reasons and encourage him to be open about his hesitancy. That advice of course is only relevant if he hasn't told his parents.
    I hope something here will help you <3
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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    Hi @naomi ❤️Yes to be honest it is really frustrating but it is worth it because I actually do really love that boy but sometimes it is annoying because when I ask him what do you want to do he says I don’t mind so I am stuck then. I have started playing online with him on the Xbox so that is good

    I have had a word with my mom about it and I messaged her while she was at work and said “Your waiting to respond to him because you want it to be over and that’s just selfish. Otherwise why else wouldn’t you respond you say everyday your going to respond and you don’t.
    Then she phoned me after she saw the message and said I will message him when I get back and when she got back she finally did. She said to me no she don’t want it to be over she just didn’t know what day to tell him but she finally sorted it out.
    She always said me and him can go bowling and go somewhere else after so we are doing something rather then just sitting there doing nothing. While we are doing our stuff my mom said she is going to her friends so it will be just me and him🥰. The date is the first week of September so it’s not that long so we have to figure out what we are going to do after bowling because he lives three hours away so we have to make it worth it so have you got any ideas about what we could do after bowling?.
    I also asked my mom if she’s scared about anything she said she’s not and also she has social anxiety so maybe that’s why she took her time to reply.

    I do hope he has told his mom and grandma because honestly it would be nice because I’ve told my family so it is only fair if he does the same.

    I have spoken to him about how we was going to be honest with each other and I told him I think your not being very honest with me when you said your happy and then one minute you say your not.

    He said yes I’m not happy but you make me alot happier and I asked him why aren’t you fully happy he said I don’t know I don’t know if I will be fully happy any time soon it will take time for me to be fully happy.

    When I heard that I thought he might have a bit of depression. What do you think?
    How do I help him with this I really don’t know.

    Well he did ask me if he can play on his Xbox with his best mate and I said yes so his been playing with him for like 3 hours and I’m worried he won’t make time for me but that might be me just overthinking.

    Thankyou for taking the time to reply I really appreciate it I’m here if you ever need to talk too❤️❤️
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    naominaomi Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    @_Tech_Addict_Girl I am glad that you'll be able to spend time with your boyfriend in September. I can only imagine your excitement!! For after bowling I think it depends on how much energy you use during bowling. If you feel a little tired then a good way to round off the day is to have dinner. I don't if the bowling alley you are going to has an arcade or some place Somewhere nice and you can spend time continuing to enjoy each other's company. I am also glad that you were able to have that chat with your mum and know clearly where she stands on your relationship, hopefully that has given you some peace of mind.
    I think it's good that you spend some time playing Xbox with him because you're showing that you are interested in what he likes to do. In terms of him maybe having depression, I honestly couldn't tell you if he does but what I will say is that you should continue to show him that you are there for him and hopefully this encourages him to have an open dialogue with you.
    I am glad my advice is helping you in some way. <3
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