tired

Former Member

hi hello.

i’m just. really exhausted. i’m so exhausted and it’s probably - it probably feels worse because my head hurts and it’s probably just that i had a driving lesson today, but i just. can’t.

i can’t do it. and it’s not just today. i can’t shake the feeling that i’m just. going to feel like this forever and nothing is ever going to change and i’m going to be no good at anything i ever do. i’m not - it feels like i’m no good at anything anymore. there is so much shit i can’t do and know nothing about and i just - can’t even comprehend how people live lives like this. i can’t even - like, i make rice and lentil soup for dinner and i’ve done it ten times and still get it wrong, how is that possible, and i’ve done so much driving and still get it wrong and i’m no good at uni and i’m no good at anything and i’m not even any good at - being a nice person, or a good person, or even any good at being helpful or useful, because i can’t do anything right.

i just - like, there’s so much stuff the world requires you to be able to do? how do people know how to drive and cook and clean and do taxes and work? i literally can’t get my shower door to be clean even when i scrub it and ask my mum what spray to use a hundred times?

anyway i just. don’t want to do this anymore. i am so exhausted and there was so much i wanted to do this summer and i have been able to do none of it, and i don’t know where the time has gone, only that i’ve achieved nothing, and i am still so tired. i’ve not managed to work or drive or exercise or practice piano or study. and i am so, so tired of my sister, of the endlessness of that, of how - this is just my entire life, and i can’t do any of it, and i don’t want to do anything, anymore.

i am so tired of it all, the endless, constant disappearance of energy into doing things for other people, or doing things at all, or not being able to do anything well because i’m terrible at everything, and it feels like nothing is ever going to get any better.

SpaceOtter

Hi @Arianna , firstly I’m really happy you posted here , those are some really heavy thoughts and you certainly don’t have to deal with them alone.

You opened up here and that’s really good, you know when you need to open up and ask for help, that’s certainly not an easy thing to do.

We’re often our worst critics. I think you’re a very nice person, you’ve helped people here and that’s certainly being a good person.
I’m really sorry if this comes across patronising but something I’ve heard is that there’s a difference between being good and being perfect. Good people make mistakes and they struggle and that doesn’t change the fact they’re good people. You’re only human, But you don’t have to deal with you’re struggles alone We’re always here to listen if you ever need anything.

There were a lot of things I wanted to do this summer but I never did. sometimes our brains get over tired and we feel burnt out and we end up with no motivation. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure but I understand how disheartening it can feel.
Maybe there’s some small things you could try doing. I know achieving small things helps give me a boost, like reading one chapter of a book each night, or going for a walk once a week.

I’m sorry you’ve been having problems with your sister and studying. Happy to listen if you want to talk more about it.

Take care, sending lots of hugs
Here if you ever need anything

Former Member

Hi @Arianna
Thank you for being courageous enough to post on here and opening up to us all. I'm sorry you've been feeling like that.

I can actually relate to myself and see myself in what you were saying. I'm also learning to drive at the moment and have been for 2 years. I still get frustrated at times, I think more now actually since it's been so long. I get very frustrated easily with it, but it does change and come with time. Like experience definitely helps with improving your driving.

I also get the feeing about how overwhelming and how many tasks functioning people have to do. I always feel that, and maybe it's because I'm young and haven't experienced adult life really. But those things will gradually come up that you deal with or do. I say focus on driving right now, that's one thing that you can achieve, and it comes with a lot of freedom once you pass too (that's what people tell me!)

I also didn't do much this summer, and I am a little disappointed too with how it turned out, but the rest of the year we can sit do things, even if we're not as free.

You won't feel this way forever. Life has ups and downs, and we experience so many different things in our life, that we can't feel one emotion forever. I'm sorry it's been tough, and we're all here to support you.

Former Member

Hello @Arianna I just want to say you are so brave for being open and honest about your feelings because I know it is very hard for some people and first of all I do hope learning to drive will help and I promise you if you have a bit of hope you will do absolutely fine and you will get there eventually❤️.

I can tell that all of this is overwhelming to you and very frustrating I do believe in you and I bet you will achieve lots of new things there is always good things coming your way when you least expect it I promise you .

You can do this I believe in you❤️❤️

I hope this helps x

Former Member

Hiya @Arianna

If it's any comfort, please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I completely recognise the way you feel. Now that I'm adult I look around and wonder how everyone else can just get through life easily and know what they are doing while I struggle. But I think I'm learning that feeling out of your depth is much more common than we first think.

We have a tendency to focus on the things we can't do and forget what we can do. For example, I had a driving lesson and all I could think about what the one thing I messed up when actually there were other things that I did right. If this sounds like you then maybe try to write down one thing you have achieved each day or to start off with even once a week. Hopefully this will help to refocus your brain on the positives. Setting yourself little goals like @SpaceOtter suggested is a great idea. Even try to split big goals down into manageable chunks and reward yourself for your small achievements on your way to the bigger goal.

Remember you are yourself and not someone else, if you are feeling exhausted and down then it's fine to take it slow. You need to look after yourself and try not to put too much pressure on yourself even though I know it's hard. You might have heard this tip before but maybe try to treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Think about what you would say to a friend if they were feeling like this and then apply it to yourself.

I know you are tired but I believe that you will get through this feeling, opening up to us about it is a massively positive first step. Sending Hugs

lovemimoon

Hi @Arianna

Thank you for reaching out to us!
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, and I just want to let you know that you're not alone.

I agree with what @SpaceOtter said here:

sometimes our brains get over tired and we feel burnt out and we end up with no motivation. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure but I understand how disheartening it can feel.
Maybe there’s some small things you could try doing. I know achieving small things helps give me a boost, like reading one chapter of a book each night, or going for a walk once a week.

We all have aspirations and plans for our lives, and there's a lot of expectations for us to do certain things. However, sometimes we end up taking much more than we can handle, and we can burn ourselves out.
Everyone works differently; some people can get their tasks done quickly, some may take their time. And that's okay! I had big plans for the summer but I didn't end up doing a good chunk of them. My plans dramatically changed and I had to shift to accommodate that. It wasn't what I anticipated but it's okay.

Get to know yourself; how you work, your limits and your boundaries. Take note of your schedule:
What do you have at the moment?
university, work, driving lessons, etc

Do you have them on separate days, is it the same?

Take one day at a time to complete what you can, and make note of how you feel after each task. For instance, say you have university and work at the same time. You feel okay after university but you're tired after going to work. You probably had plans to complete certain tasks but it's exhausting. That's okay! Take that time to achieve smaller tasks (reading a book, watching TV, clearing up small spaces, etc) and you can set aside important tasks for days that isn't too busy.
Give yourself time to adjust; see what's working and what's not.

How are you doing?
Sending lots of hugs and support