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Young carers

kaishapb_15kaishapb_15 Posts: 15 Settling in
Hi guys, I wanted to make this discussion for young carers or just anyone who has experienced living with a disabled family member. My mum is disabled herself and it was a struggle for me growing up, having to deal with the changes in dynamics and our worsened financial situation. I want everyone to know they can come to me for any struggles they might be having and I am more than happy to give advice.

During school I attended some surrey young carers meetings which I found useful as it was nice to know that I am not alone and there were other people my age going through the same situation. They would often take us out and do activities as well as providing a support group. I will provide the link for anyone
who wants to check it out. https://www.actionforcarers.org.uk/who-we-help/young-carers-under-18/ , but feel free to ask if you want to know anymore about my experience with them.

This is a safe space for everyone no matter what your feelings are regarding your situation. Everyone deserves a support system and a place to express themselves. <3

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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Hiya! Thank you so much for starting this thread.

    I have a brother who's on the high end of the autistic spectrum and it's been a difficult journey.
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    kaishapb_15kaishapb_15 Posts: 15 Settling in
    Hey @lovemimoon no problem at all!

    Thank you for sharing that must be very difficult for you, do you have a support system at home?
    My younger brother is also on the spectrum but the lower end and I know how much of an effect it can have on the family.
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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Not really?

    We've had several attempts but my brother isn't too fond of people he's not exactly familiar with. It takes time for him to adjust to things.
    But we managed to figure things out at the end! ^^

    What about you?
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    kaishapb_15kaishapb_15 Posts: 15 Settling in
    Oh okay I see, I'm glad you managed to figure things out! how are you managing for yourself though do you struggle personally?

    For me it was difficult to get him help as CAHMS did not initially think he needed it but he is now starting to get the help he needs.
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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Personally, it's a struggle. I was going through my own stuff and I didn't know how to balance my personal needs with other people's needs so it was either one extreme or the other. Harboured a lot of unpleasant feelings, tbh.
    What about you?

    Aaaye, that's good to hear! What about you though? How are you doing?
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    kaishapb_15kaishapb_15 Posts: 15 Settling in
    Yeah it can be so hard to put boundaries in place for yourself, how is it now have you managed to find a balance?

    Honestly things are a lot better for me, going to university has strengthened the relationship in a way as it is more of a choice to be in contact if that makes sense, it took a while to feel this way though and there is almost a guilty feeling that sticks, especially from moving away.
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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    It wasn't until I started uni, I found a balance. I felt like I had more time and space to figure out how to balance my own time with everyone else. It strengthened my relationship with my family, and I'm so thankful for that.

    That's very understandable and I'm sorry to hear that. <3 As long as you maintain a good relationship with your family, then it's all good. ^^
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    kaishapb_15kaishapb_15 Posts: 15 Settling in
    Yeah I completely agree! I am glad to hear that!

    Our relationship has definitely strengthened, thank you <3
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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    How are you finding uni anyway??

    No worries <3
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,160 Part of The Furniture
    edited August 2021
    Hey :)

    I’m a Young adult care too for my brother - though that will stop in September due to the fact I’m moving away for uni

    We also run a Group chat space specific for young carers if you ever wanted to join on a Monday 8-9:30 , this is the link of you havent been before Bit.ly/GroupChatDirect
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    kimberley1907kimberley1907 Posts: 84 Budding Regular
    Hi :)
    When I was younger, around 13/14, my mum became really ill and we were told that she would be chronically ill for the foreseeable future, and there wasn't much they could do for her. So I had to care for her along with my younger sister and dad at that time. It was super tough, and definitely brought me a lot of worry and anxiety with the change and pressure put on me.

    I also attended a local young carers group once a week, and it was really nice. I did suffer quite badly from anxiety back then, so did struggle sometimes, but I was able to make friends and speak to people that were in the same situation as me, and also have time every week to take my mind off what was going on at home. We also went out on a trip or two, and it was really nice.

    My mum's condition has improved slightly over time, but it's still hard to manage. But I went to uni in September last year, so that really changed things for me, and I think I've learnt to deal with it and accept it a lot more now.
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