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Mental Health
Former Member
Posts: 19 Settling in
I’m really struggling atm. I’m between living and the other option to end life. It sucks i’ve struggled with my mental health in life ever since I was bullied in high school. *TW* Had many suicide attempts and been so close once I still believe one day I can let this work. I’m exhausted and give up.
Someone please tell me another way this pin and torture will finally end without me having to take the drastic option.
mod edit: removed triggering content
Someone please tell me another way this pin and torture will finally end without me having to take the drastic option.
mod edit: removed triggering content
Post edited by JustV on
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Opening up is really hard so well done for talking to us. I’m really sorry I can’t help more, I just wanted to say we’re here for you and I’m always happy to listen.
Thank you for your time to come say hi and respond. I really appreciate the supoort.
Aww that’s so sweet. My mind is just all jumbled and I feel so lost. I don’t want to be alive
Every day is torture to still be here. You get me? Wake up and wish you weren’t feeling the same way as usual. I just numb my feelings totally now to try remain happy
It’s lovely to have you here at the mix, though I wish it was under better circumstances.
I know my thoughts can get really jumbled. Sometimes I like to write everything down and tear it up or post it here. Keeping everything to myself can feel like carrying a back pack full of pebbles, posting here and getting my thoughts out feels like taking out a pebble and throwing it in a river. Slowly I’m feeling lighter.
Here’s a quote I use way too much
“ "I can't promise to solve all your problems but I can promise you won't have to face them alone."
I’m really sorry things have been so hard, and I’m sorry if this sounds patronising it’s not my intention. But posting here shows a lot of strength and bravery. Reaching out is never easy.
Sending lots of hugs always here if you ever need anything
So sorry to hear things are so hard right now. Please keep going 💜
I just can’t anymore
I am so sorry you're struggling at the moment.
Sending lots of hugs and support
Hi thanks for the moral supoort.
Now is my time. I can’t fight no more. I’m exhausted from my mental health and I’ve hit an all time low. There is no turnaround.
I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling so much, it must be unbelievably tough. As the others have said please remember we are all here for you. Sending the biggest hugs
The Samaritans are also there for you if you want to have a chat on their helpline: https://www.samaritans.org/
Keep talking to us x
You are not alone in your battles.
I thought I would share something with you that my counsellor once told me that has always stuck with me - you don't want to kill yourself, you just want to end the pain that you are in. And I think that's so important, because I believe that you have so much to live for, there are things waiting for you right around the corner that will hold such beautiful and wonderful memories for you.
You're story hasn't ended just yet, you're story is only beginning and I cant wait to see what happens next - i totally believe that it will be something beautiful and positive.
Sending you lots of virtual hugs your way.
Idon’t have words which will make the pain go away but it will, hang in there. Life can be sad and cruel but u can’t let it beat u, talking always helps as u get someone else's view. Also sometimes things feel bigger in our heads and when u express them they become smaller.
Get it off ur chest and talk to someone about it - it will help. Take care
Thank you for that I contacted the Samaritans and received help. ❤️
Best wishes x
How are you??
Hey thanks for looking out for me.
I’m not the best but I’m still alive. I do regret hurting myself but it’s in the past and over with now. Can’t go back on time.
Do you want to talk a little more about how you are feeling and if there is anything in particular that has been triggering for you recently? Is there anyone you are able to share this with in your life too?
Take good care
Lucy
Life is hard. I appreciate you checking in. It’s more research I put into following what I engaged in as a *TW* self harm behaviour and the damage it may well have caused…
I do now regret my impulsive action it’s more to finish the way I feel rather than end my life if you get me? I just want a break
Nah more just struggling with the way I’m feeling it’s too intense.
Not really I feel I can’t trust others or that I’m a burden. It used to cause arguments in the family home so I isolate and keep all my feelings to myself which clearly rectifies why I feel so intense at times?
Thank you again for keeping in touch.
Best wishes x
I appreciate you checking it. 😊
I’m struggling I won’t lie. I regret what I’ve been doing to myself as previously mentioned but I’m just really struggling.
I don’t want to die I want this pain to all go away. I’m suffering too much and punish myself a lot! I care too much for others rather than myself and I protect those around me/ closest by not sharing how i feel.
I just feel so lost idk what to do. 🤷♀️
We're so happy that you're safe.
It's exhausting to constantly fight your own thoughts, and I know a lot of people here can relate to you.
I understand that within these experiences, I know that it's difficult to reach out to close friends and family.
However, remember why you came to the Mix?
You came to the Mix for support and that's what we're exactly here to do. It may seem like a small step but the fact that you're reaching out to us is a one hell a huge step.
When you're struggling, please don't be afraid to find the courage to reach out for us and we will support you in anyway we can.
We're here for you 100%
Opening yo to people is a really tough thing. But sometimes opening up can actually help others too, it can help encourage them to open up about things they’ve been struggling with. It’s really sweet that you care so much about others but you matter too, no one should have to cope on their own. That being said take as long as you need to open up, it’s something you can only do when you’re ready. We’re always here if you ever need anything.
Talking to us was an incredibly brave step.
Take care, we’re always here
Thanks for keeping in touch. I’m so lost tbh. I’m really appreciating the support here though.
Yeah you guys is easier I suppose and to get things off my mind a little so I’m not as filled with thoughts etc. I’m still adamant I’m dying though.
This battle is killing me inside literally!
I really don’t know what more to say.
Lovely to hear from you again. The overwhelming support from everyone provides a little courage to keep going.
No one would ever share with me if they were struggling close! I’ve cause my family to all be depressed as a result of me therefore my opinion when feeling down is irrelevant. I protect them. If that means I ended up in the ER and they didn’t find out well so be it.
Thanks I’ve struggled with mental health ever since high school when I was solid bullied for years straight! It’s thrown down my self esteem to.
I just don’t deserve to be here 💔
I just want you to know that I think you do deserve to be here
Have you talked to your family about the way they feel? Are there other things going on in their lives that might be affecting them? There is likely no one reason why people feel depressed so try not to blame yourself so much. No matter what you believe you have done to your family, you still matter. This community still cares when you are feeling down. It's so courageous that you want to protect your family but you have to make sure you are looking after yourself too.
I'm sorry to hear that you had a tough time at high school, you must have been through so much. But you are still with us right now and that shows just how strong you are.
You say that this community has given you a little courage, well I think you have massive amounts of courage to be open with us and it's great you contacted the Samaritans, I am so proud of you.
Keep fighting, you are doing so well x
It really is my fault. Tell me they can’t be depressed because their daughter has constantly fought a battle for so long and they’ve witnessed me in hospital on many occasions as I’m unstable and have tried to kill mated about 50 times!! No hate I’m just explaining it to make it more sense if you get what I’m saying! There is a reason they feel the way they do and that’s because of what I’ve done to myself.
I do want to change however I also think killing myself is so much easier.
Just still with you. I’ve been so close why didn’t it work?! I was found
Thanks x
I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling. I want you to remember that regardless of what you have done in the past, you are still a worthy human being. My therapist told me that what matters most is what you do today. You are not defined by what you did in the past but how you move forward in the present.
I know how scary change can be and we often try to avoid it but sometimes the hardest paths to take are actually the most rewarding. The very fact that you said you want to change is a massive first step.
Change can be challenging but you have already showed us how strong you are by opening up to us and this gives me confidence that you have the strength to fight this.
We're with you all the way
Hey I’m really struggling and very much so giving up.
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I am sorry to hear you have been having suicidal thoughts. This must be very challenging for you to deal with. However, just by coming onto this forum and writing posts you are showing your bravery and that you want to make a change. There are many people here to help you make that change, it is very much possible!
May I ask, are you able to recognise if there was a certain event or feeling recently that led you to 'giving up'?
You mentioned your lack of self esteem, due to being bullied at high school. No one deserves that. Do you think that this is a significant root to your mental health struggles?
I have so much faith in you. There are many options and ways for you to make it through this. I will be checking later for a reply.
Focus on making it through today. Talk soon.
Grace