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my sister

strawberry26strawberry26 Posts: 11 Settling in
its not often you hear about the children harming the family but thats my situation. she first started acting like this about 4 years ago when we were all getting ready to go out for my mums birthday meal. i cant remember what, but something inconvenienced my sister and she went totally nuts. she was 11 or 12 when this happened. she would shout and scream at my parents and wouldnt let them leave rooms until they apologised for something. even though my parents didnt do anything wrong and it was my sister who should have apologised. at the time, we all just assumed it was hormones and she was struggling with the transition from primary to secondary school as her friends were going elsewhere. but here we are, 4 years later and its worse. she swears, she shouts, she hits, she kicks, she throws, and she is just generally aggressive. when this all first started, it was the rare occasion that she would act like this. now, its 24/7. even on special days like birthdays, christmas, and on holidays. im just so tired of it. she drains me, my mum, my dad and everyone else in my family. her horrible attitude affects EVERYONE. i hate coming home from school or when im out with friends as i know she'll be there being her usual nightmare-ish self. im just so tired of it, i just want to leave but i dont want to hurt my parents anymore. we've been trying for years to get her help but the places we go to are quite honestly useless, and she doesnt care enough to listen to what theyre saying since her actions dont affect her, only everyone else. it hurts so much to hear my mum cry, i cant bare it anymore. its now at the point where its really affecting my mental health, since i've been stuck in the house a lot due to lockdown, as well as summer and christmas holidays. its like walking on eggshells. im so tired.


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    PinkgubelPinkgubel Posts: 19 Settling in
    This sounds really difficult - when you have no control over someone else's behaviour.
    I have known people with very similar experiences!!
    From what you have said, it seems she changed without any kind of trigger. I am no expert, but it sounds to me like she has some mental health problems. For my friend's sister it was autism, which in girls CAN become symptomatic around that age.
    I am not fully aware of your dynamic with your sister - but if it is possible I would have a heart-to-heart conversation with her about why she is so angry, but also how she is feeling. Depression can cause aggression too. Best case scenario, she will grow out of it - but I think it is worthy to research symptoms of autism in teenage girls and if it applies to her, having an assessment for it as it is VERY underdiagnosed in girls - which results in outbursts at home.
    It is not your fault and you deserve better, and it is hard to live with someone who you can't control. I hope you get to the bottom of it and your situation improves!
    Sending love <3
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    strawberry26strawberry26 Posts: 11 Settling in
    thank you so much @Pinkgubel <3
    we have tried to get help at places to see if she does have autism or something else, but the waiting lists take forever, unfortunately. i have heard that austism in girls often goes undiagnosed (if thats the right way to put it, im not very good with words) and that could just be something shes been silently struggling with as she isnt recieving the right support. its just a problem that she refuses to talk to anyone since shes always so aggresive.
    i appriciate your comment so much, thank you for reading my big rant haha, i hope for things to improve whether that be through her growing out of it or getting the right support.
    thank you so much <3
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