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Positivity Messages

TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
edited June 2021 in Positivity Corner
Hi everyone! I said I'd share a positivity message I write once a week, I have failed to do this as I have been overwhelmingly busy, but I will be sharing some of the ones I have done for my psychology groupchat :) so they may not make complete sense in context, but the messages are mostly universal.

Please feel free to add to this!

1:
Hi everyone, this week's positivity message is moreso a message of acceptance.

We are not one singular aspect of our personality, we are a person made up of a larger and more complex matrix of aspects of ourselves. We are not and never will be one singular aspect of our personality, labels are good for identifying paint, but are absolutely awful for identifying a person. We are a sum of our experience and past and present. However we are not and should not be determined by our past, some things are inexcusable, and I will not be naming these incase it triggers anyone's past experiences, but to those of us with trauma, and that is literally everyone. You are more than that bad thing that happened to you.

You are absolutely more of a person than that one awful awful thing that may have occurred, and I hope you know that even though it may have happened and it likely has, is and will cause you physical or emotional pain, that it's okay to talk about it if you want. You are not annoying, petty, or any of those words, for being (rightfully so) upset by something, even if it's "minor" , if it hurt you, your feelings are valid . You are allowed to feel things. So don't you dare be like "Oh no I don't wanna annoy people" People would rather listen to you complain about something for the one millionth time than let you suffer in silence.

So all of you, be kinder to yourselves, because some of you are so critical of yourself "I'm a bad person or student" "I've done bad stuff" "i really don't deserve love"
Ignore these thoughts

You're not a bad person for feeling stuff, or for doing a thing you regret, if you are actively making amends and it isn't something totally inexcusable. We have all messed up in the past, and we all will mess up in the future. There is no person on earth who is free of blame, or of sin. "let him who is without sin cast the first stone"

Every single person has made a mistake they regret, that doesn't mean I am endorsing deplorable behaviour, but a mistake that isn't something completely inexcusable (and again I will not be naming these to not trigger anyone or incase I miss anything) should not define you. You shouldn't feel any less deserving of love, or happiness or anything because you've made a mistake. Literally every singular person on this earth bar non have messed up. Certain aspects of religion are concerned with forgiveness, so if you're religious forgive yourself, and if you are atheist or another denomination of this, you are also allowed to forgive yourselves.

You are a sum of all your parts and your past experiences, yes you have a traumatic past, but I can promise you, you are not based solely upon that one aspect of your life, you are a much larger person than that one thing that happened to you.
You aren't just a "survivor" or a "victim" you are a person. You should not be labelled as something based on one thing, the only label you should ever have, and the only label I will ever give you, is your name and your pronoun. That is it. You're more than one thing, you're a larger person than that singular thing.

So for your own sake this weekend take a break, even if it's for an hour do something for yourselves, be kind to yourself, because hey we all mess up, so make amends, better yourself, go to therapy, do something to help yourself, and those around you, but you are not a singular label, you're not your race, religion, sexual orintenation, or your trauma. They are aspects of you yes, but you are not that one thing, you are not a singular thing, you are a person who has a past, and that's OK.


2:

Since it's mental health awareness week, I just wanted to write a quick mental healthy message :)

I hope everyone is managing to keep positive, or at the very least optimistic about the future, I know that with the three lockdowns we've had, it's quite hard to separate pre lockdown life and post lockdown life, and if anyone is struggling with their mental health, like any form of it, whether that be just a little sad, or on the verge of a breakdown, it's important that I remind you all, that hey, you're just one person, you may be strong as fuck and wanna fight your demons by yourself, and as commendable as that may be, you are allowed to need support, or want to get help.

Being a lone wolf is great and all, but it is in no way sustainable, so if you need help, request the help, you are allowed to, and encouraged to get help. Don't rely solely on one person, a support system will be the most beneficial, and useful thing in recovery.
The uni provide support, the nhs provide support, and your group chats, whilst scary at times and looming with hundreds of people in them will provide support. You've just got to request it. That doesn't mean your exam answers will be done for you (as that's collusion) but it does mean that people in this chat would rather talk to you and become friends, than let you suffer alone.

So I wanna call upon those who haven't spoke in your chat because you are scared to.
Say hi! Make new friends, talk to us :) chats here to discuss psychology and ultimately make friends. If you're scared that someone will shout at you, then I get it, but also nobody is gonna bite your head off for introducing yourselves.

As I say in every single positivity message, everyone here is loved, be it by family, by friends, your pet, that random person you walk by each morning, or some random person in your psych groupchat.

So if you need help, request it, if it's where to access support, you'll be helped, if it's exam related, you'll be sign posted to where that info is, if it's exam questions answers you're outta luck sorry, but ultimately if it's something like "am I a bad person" you'll be told the truth, and that truth is, if you are actively making amends, or trying to grow for your mistakes, your not. Nobody is inherently good or bad, we are afterall shaped by our past and present, we are a product of our environment, and if you've messed up in the past (and we all have, myself included) then it's ok, because everyone fucks up, it's human nature to make mistakes, to err is to human, to forgive divine.

So to summarise, and to make a tl:Dr of this.
Ask for help, your allowed, talk in chat more people who don't, get a support system, and ultimately remember that we all mess up, but that doesn't mean you aren't loved by someone somewhere. Your life is and always will be precious. You don't need to justify your existence to anyone.
Peace you beautiful beautiful people ✌️

3:

Hi everyone, sorry the weekly positivty message is late, man's been busy with life. . This message isn’t the normal brand of positivty. In fact it’s kinda sad and I’m sorry for that.

But this week’s message is on death, and what that means. It is one of the only things that all humans share, this and love. We all have to encounter it at some point, that doesn’t make it any better or any less emotionally painful, but it is okay to feel sad. I will speak about this shortly.

For those religious people, most religion believes in an afterlife, so you will no doubt meet them again in some future life. For those who are atheists or don't believe in religion, death isn’t the end. It isn’t finality. It’s not the end of someone. Their mortal body isn’t here anymore, but the impact they’ve had on your life will last. A person may not be here, but they won’t leave you just because of that. You will in some capacity always have that person in your life. We are a sum of all our parts, we are a being made up of many aspects, many experiences and many different people. Just because someone isn’t here physically, doesn’t mean they aren’t with you in spirit, or with you in another way. It may feel like the end of someone when they aren’t here anymore, but it isn’t. Just because someone or something you loved isn’t here anymore, doesn’t mean they aren’t here. They may not be physical, but they are still a part of you.

Sadness is a base human emotion, it’s expected it’s necessary and it’s always going to be a part of us. Grief is essentially the same, and whilst at the start it may feel like it’ll never end, it will, the pain will lessen, it may never leave fully, but it’ll become easier to manage. I want to share a large ish quote I’ve found online from the loss foundation

This quote being: “As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

So honestly, when you come across this sort of thing, cry, emote, do something to show how you feel, because human emotion is normal, crying is normal. Feeling is okay. For the men of chat, it’s been said before, and no doubt will be said again. Talk about your issues, talk about things that have hurt you. Traditional manliness is all well and good, but it isn’t sustainable, so feel, express yourself and most of all, love.

Death, it’s one of the most natural aspects of life, we come from nothing, and we become something, and hopefully at the end of it we are remembered, or have impacted others. If we haven’t? That’s okay. You don’t have to influence the world to be allowed to live. So just you do you, and remember that grief at the start is the worst, but gets better, you are allowed to feel, you are allowed to cry. It’s okay. You’re loved, you’re appreciated, and perhaps above all else? You’re a person, so you deserve to be happy.
Tagged:
Past User_Tech_Addict_Girllovemimoon

Comments

  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I love this❤️❤️
    Toby
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Toby
  • TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    Mistakes, we all make 'em, ain't nothing wrong with it. It is a part of life, mistakes happen, insurance is a thing for that reason. Pencils come with rubbers. So when you fuck up, remember that hey it's ok, if nobody is dead it's likely ok. You will make mistakes, and you will screw up, if you apologize, and try and fix it, that's good. Learn from it, and then move on, we all make mistakes, whether it be in our professional lives, or our personal lives. We will fuck up, and that's okay.

    So if you're beating yourself up cause you made a mistake, then just remember no person is completely infallible, nobody is completely without mistake.

    Me for example. My entire life is one big one, but it's gucci cause I am learning, and you all are too, so don't beat yourself up.

    You are allowed to and encouraged to mess up, school is all about learning, and learning is just messing up that you gain something from. So live, learn, love and most importantly, stop beating yourself up.

    You may feel like a failure, but I can promise you, that you aren't. You could crash a car and not be a failure. You could fail your exams, and not be a failure, because we are not defined by grades, we are defined by the type of person we are. You're loved, by someone, somewhere.
    lovemimoonPast User
  • TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    I challenged myself to write about a singular word, and my friend very kindly gave me a word that is quite easy to write about. That being hope.

    Hope, the definition goes as such: "a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen." And that's true (by the very definition of it) but it's more than that. Hope, it's really just, it's life isn't it?

    Hope and love are similar in so many aspects, and all life is love, therefore all life is hope.

    Whether that hope be that lego star wars be as good as you remember it, or the hope that someone has feelings for you too.

    It's something that keeps us alive, where there is no hope, there is not much. So if you are feeling like there is no hope in your life. There is nothing you can look forward to, think, really hard, think about everything. You may take a while to work out what hope there is, even if it's something you consider small like a chocolate bar, or something large like your dream job in the future. Cling to it, hold on to it, nurture it, that spark of hope, it could very well be the thing that reignites your zest and love for life.

    Hope is in some way power, it is a base urge, a base human emotion. It is something in us, that allows us to live, hope is love, and love is hope. You can take a person's body but if you don't take their hope? You haven't won. The mortal body is a necessity yes, and it has to be treasured, but keep some hope in your life, keep some childhood belief.

    There's nothing wrong with embracing aspects of your upbringing, if they are healthy. So if you have an abundance of stuffed animals, hell yeah! If you like to colour little pictures, you do it! I do, and if you're rewatching stuff that gives you hope the future will be good, absolutely do it. It doesn't matter if it's a "kids show" or a childish thing. You do you. If it's not illegal, immoral, or inexcusable, why should anyone care? You. Do. You.

    You're loved. You're appreciated, and I can promise you, you are valued.
    lovemimoon
  • TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    Alright this is a two part positivty message, firstly on education then on friendship. (Again directly copy and pasted from when I put it in my psych groupchat.

    Ok, so education, education for education's sake is just a thing that should be done, like we are constantly learning, we are constantly processing new information, and expanding ourselves from it, so uni whilst a shit show, and let's be honest it has been, it's not out of the question that the uni would explode at this point, but education, is good, like even if it's learning Freud was weird af, or learning some new reason you have trauma, that's good. Like learning is key, if you don't think you've learnt stuff this year? Ye fucking have. Its just hard to properly comprehend everything over the Internet, most of us don't learn by the internet, we learn by social interaction, and by communication with others, and this leads me nicely onto my second point, of friendship.

    Friendship, it's just, like, it's just this thing, that is so amazing, it can't be expressed in words that aren't made up. So like, friendship, is good, the homies make the misery and pain that is mental illness, or sadness, or whatever the fuck has got you down rn, better. It makes the pain less so, it hurts less. There's nothing wrong with embracing your sadness, there's nothing wrong with crying and having to be held by your friends. Repeat. There is NOTHING wrong with crying.

    Not to be super emo here, but life is painful, sometimes there seems to be no point, and that's my view 9/10 times, but ya know what? That's okay. Living in misery, it's at least marginally better than dying in it, simply for the fact, that it can, and WILL get better. No one is miserable forever, no one is in constant pain forever, you get better, physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever. You get better.

    So I say this to those of you with trauma, which is again, everyone. That trauma isn't you, you're more than that. You're allowed to feel hurt, you're allowed to feel sadness, you're allowed to feel. So please for the love of everything that is holy, or not, don't ever stop fighting the good fight. You're capable of, and are for damn sure allowed to be loved. And if you don't think you are? I love you in the most platonic way I can express.
    Past User
  • TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    Perfection and us.

    ALRIGHT PEOPLE, I haven't wrote a long message in a few weeks, and I thought fuck it i ain't working, and I'm bored, so here.

    Perfection is an unattainable state, no person is "perfect" no person is the way they want to be 100% of the time, and that applies to both appearance and personality, and I'm here to remind you that hey, that's OK, it's natural to not be perfect. If you were, I'd be concerned because there's some weird stuff going on if you are. But hey, if you're not perfect in your personality, that's OK, nobody is, we all make social faux paus, we all send a dodgy text every now and then, we've all done a "u up text?" So it's okay to realize you made mistakes in the past, grow and learn from them, and be the best king, queen, whatever you identify as, be the best version of that, and realize that it's ok to not be perfect in your personality :)

    On the appearance, I say this in the absolute least I am trying to flirt with you way, you're beautiful people, if you don't like aspects of your appearance? Man fuck that's ok. You're still beautiful, you're still a person worthy of love, and affection. The small "flaws" that you see? They are aspects of you that make you more loveable. Your freckles you hate? Someone who you love, loves them. The birthmark on a noticeable part of your body? Is okay, it's natural, it's beautiful. The small things you perceive as imperfect in some odd way, actually make you more perfect, you are more whole a person because your body has history on it, stretch marks are not a thing that is unattractive, it is a part of age. Wrinkles too, aging is a beautiful thing, so try and accept that with age you grow more whole and more perfect even though we are imperfect. We are imperfect and that is perfect.

    You are who you are, and you should be able to accept that you are beautiful, even if you don't feel it, you are, and if I have to remind you of that everyday, I will.

    You're beautiful irregardless of how you perceive your appearance, your body type, your personality, all that, no person is the same, all snowflakes are different, but all are beautiful, and like them, we are all beautiful, imperfections and all.

    The TL:Dr of this is simply this, you're worthy of love, you're beautiful, it's really that simple. Peaceeeee.
    lovemimoonPast User
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