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Long-distance relationships.
Former Member
Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
Hello. I haven't visited this website in a while, but I have recently come across something and want some advice.
Recently, I met a girl online, who has since become romantically attracted to me. We are relatively close - in terms of how well we've come to know eachother, at least. Physically, we are far apart, I am from the UK and she is from elsewhere. A separate country; separate continent, even.
Of course, this means we will be unable to see each other most of the time. She claims she would be able to come over for two weeks every two months. However, outside of these visits, we would be vastly separated.
I have never been in a relationship before, or have any experience with this kind of thing at all. I have heavy doubts it could work either way if it came down to that. However, in the rare event we were to become this close, how likely would the long distance between us negatively affect our theoretical relationship?
I'm 19 and she's 18, in case this information will be of any use.
Recently, I met a girl online, who has since become romantically attracted to me. We are relatively close - in terms of how well we've come to know eachother, at least. Physically, we are far apart, I am from the UK and she is from elsewhere. A separate country; separate continent, even.
Of course, this means we will be unable to see each other most of the time. She claims she would be able to come over for two weeks every two months. However, outside of these visits, we would be vastly separated.
I have never been in a relationship before, or have any experience with this kind of thing at all. I have heavy doubts it could work either way if it came down to that. However, in the rare event we were to become this close, how likely would the long distance between us negatively affect our theoretical relationship?
I'm 19 and she's 18, in case this information will be of any use.
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It could very well work - as a success story, myself and my partner have been together for over 3 years. You really have to have good communication with each other, you have to be able to be honest with each other and talk through everything. That’s what’s helped me.
I find talking about the really boring details of your days helps too, it’s almost like you’re keeping your partner a part of your life even though they aren’t there with you physically.
I think it’s one of those things where you don’t know if it will work for you and your relationship until you give it a go. I had the same doubts as you, that’s very common and natural. But in the early days just enjoy it and enjoy the closeness
I first of all, just wanted to say that it's completely normal and ok to have doubts about whether you're relationship would last if it were to be long distance as some long distance relationships can be really tough (as you probably already know) but I think that if you really like the girl, its definitely worth a try.
I have been in two long distance relationships myself - one because my partner lived so far away from me and the other was due to a covid - 19 lockdown and well i am lucky to say that both of these long distance relationships worked really well for me, and yours can definitely work really well too!!
Some tips that really helped me, was sending short little videos of ourselves to each other (whether that was just saying goodnight/good morning or telling each other how our days had been), spending the evenings with each other through technology - so for example, spending half an hour in the evening to talk to each over the phone or spending an hour face timing and we would watch a programme on Netflix or amazon prime together.
There are loads of long distance date ideas you could try, if you wanted too (I have attached a link to a website with lots of long distance date ideas on - there are loads of other long distance date ideas you can find online too)
https://www.endlessdistances.com/27-long-distance-date-ideas/
Hope this helps
It is perfectly normal to have these doubts, I had them myself when I first started my long distance relationship 3 years ago (we're still doing well too despite being opposite ends of the country) as well as this relationship being my first ever, similar to you.
I think that the only way to tell if this relationship could work for you is to just go for it! It certainly worked for me. It can be tough but it sounds like you both really like each other so maybe give it a go!
It is about making time for each other and communicating how you feel. Somethings that really help me and my partner is once a month we have a facetime date where we sit down and have dinner with each other and play cards online. In between this, we text and facetime quite regularly whether it is a quick 15 minute facetime to just see their face or sending funny picture or videos that reminded you of them. We also write letters to each other every now and again as it feels special to have something handwritten and is always exciting to receive something in the mail.
Hope this helps xx
My brother got married a couple of years back after a long distance relationship (UK & US). So it really can work!
I think with any relationship, long distanced or not, communication is key. So, it's all about finding ways of communicating that work for you. Whether that's scheduling regular FaceTime calls, writing letters, having virtual movie nights. Very similar to what @renw has suggested actually
With my friends who live in different cities, I like to FaceTime them while both going on a walk too. Because then it feels like you are on a walk together.
It's great that you are thinking this through at this stage. LDR can be tough, but they can work. They're not for everyone, so it's really down to what works for you and your happiness. That's the number one priority, always
No doubt the situation you're in is a tricky one! When you haven't been in a relationship before it can already feel like a big leap making that step with someone, and with the added uncertainty of long distance it may seem even scarier. Only you know in yourself how you feel about this person, but if you're heart is telling you to be with this person then giving it a go is fine!
You also have to potentially consider the stages both of you are at in life, what you both want to do etc. Because looking further into the future, if anything is going to make things tough it may be where other demands of life get in the way (such as career, education, choice of where you would like to permanently live, or decisions to travel).
I sort of class my current relationship as 'long distance' although it isn't a matter of being in different countries, more so just different parts of the same country. Nonetheless, after now being together for a year and a half, my boyfriend and I have had to endure long periods of time away from eachother due to the distance. This has been a challenge, more because when we first met we lived very close to eachother (both living away from home at university at the time), so when the pandemic hit and we moved home we felt the distance more than ever.
However IT IS possible to make things work, regularly facetiming and keeping each other involved in each other's days. It may be that you set aside a certain time of day or week for each other. You can do other things to stay connected such as sending eachother gifts in the post/cards etc - this was something that got me through lockdown last year when I couldn't see my boyfriend for months!
Anyway, I hope this has given you a little more confidence/insight! It is possible to do long distance, but that is a decision entirely down to yourselves, your own judgement and what is going to make you the happiest. If things don't work out, its also okay too! You're still so young and there are endless opportunities available to you! Good luck and all the best
I am currently doing long distance with my partner and I can honestly say it is hard at times but it can work! I think the most important part is your love for one another and communication. I think it's more difficult to communicate when you're not face to face but as long as you're both open with each other about what is bothering you or anything you'd like to change then it can definitely work!
Obviously doing long distance is extremely difficult and you will miss them extremely, but I think what makes it special is when you can see each other. It makes every second of long distance worth it! I think you should do what you feel is right and don't put too much pressure on yourself! Just remember everything happens for a reason
I completely understand what you mean! I have been in a relationship for almost four years now, and this was my first relationship too! In my case, this didn't start off as long distance, but once we both started University it has become one. I can honestly say that it has made our relationship stronger! We also see each other much less than you and your potential partner may be able to, and we still make it work
It could also be potentially easier for you to adapt to a long distance relationship, since you know going into it that this is how your relationship is going to be. It can be more difficult to communicate long distance, so it is important in person to decide what you both want from the relationship. Honesty and trust are key to making it work, and if you have both of those things then I have no doubt you can make a long distance relationship work
Honestly, it's quite normal to feel a little hesitant about engaging in a long-distance relationship but it can be such a rewarding experience. There will be days when you miss each other's presence like crazy but you become creative with methods to be closer and it becomes quite fun coming up with ways to surprise your significant other. Of course, the meeting part is incredibly exciting, also because you're more appreciative of the time you spend time together. All in all, it may seem like a challenge but trust me when I say that in the long run long-distance relationships tend to be stronger. I hope it's going well if you've already asked her out! Just remember if you ever feel a little low about the distance, all precious things come by with a little challenge. You'll see her before long
Wow I can imagine it must be both very exciting and a little bit scary to be in your first relationship! For anybody this would be a new experience to discover but for you it must come with it's own challenges being long-distance.
Like some of the others in this thread, I have also had a bit of an experience of being in a "long-distance" relationship. I have now been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, which is my longest ever relationship, and although we both live in the same country, which is very different to your situation, we have had a few on-and-off experiences of not being able to see each other for a long time. The first couple of times were when I moved away into university accommodation, then we didn't see each other for a few months during the Covid-19 lockdown and right now he has been away for three months as he is training to be in the military.
I think, like others have mentioned, communication is key. We make sure that we call or text as much as we can to let each other know how our days have been. We also went through a period of watching some Netflix series' and movies together on Zoom or playing online games which was really fun. I think another good thing to do is to plan something special, like a day trip or meal, to do together once you see each other - This can be really important if one of you missed an event like the other's birthday as you can almost make up for lost time! You could even arrange a present to be delivered to their house on their actual birthday, etc.
Remember even if it might seem like you won't see your girlfriend for a long time, when you do see her it should hopefully make it all worth it