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People commenting on scars

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
edited June 2021 in Health & Wellbeing
I work in retail and 3 staff members have asked me what’s on my arm. Am I just being sensitive or don’t you think it’s a bit rude? Customers have been rude to me but you’d think like staff wouldn’t mention it. It’s really awkward. I just say it’s scars from ages ago. they say yeah but what from. It’s like ugh why do you need to know. Like the person who asked today. Was literally my first time speaking to me and he still asked so it’s not like I know him. Is it rude? If you worked with someone. And you do speak to them - would you comment on their scars asking how they got there? I just wouldn’t and i don’t know maybe it’s not rude. Idk


I just wanna know if you would comment on a colleague scars if there was a lot on her arm with just a question on how it got there. If maybe you didn’t actually know it was self harm.and if you wouldn’t do you think it’s rude?
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Ex-Teenage Dirtbag Posts: 804 Part of The Mix Family
    They probably don't mean anything bad by it but it's still kind of rude I'd say
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    I agree that it’s often well meaning, but I do think it’s rude to ask especially if it’s someone you don’t know very well or not a very close friend.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 Posts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    I agree that it is rude to ask and persist on getting an answer especially when you see that the person is uncomfortable with the question. However, I do think it is from a well meaning place. They may have thought "oh this is a great way to start a conversation." or they may just want to know if you are okay, but they should know that it isn't appropriate to ask those questions when you don't really have a personal relationship with the person or if you are a medical professional. I think that if another person asks you, if you haven't already, just politely say "I am not comfortable to have this conversation with you."
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks guys. Yeah. The 3 people who has asked what’s wrong with my arm. I have always answered “they’re scars from ages ago” (not even ages ago) but they have all gone like “yeah but how” or “oh how did it happen” when you would think me only saying it’s scars it’s ending the convo as I get clearly uncomfortable. But they still ask more questions after that which is rude definitely rude
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Heya! <3

    I agree with the others. Though they mean well, I believe it's insensitive for people to ask about your scars, especially when your relationship isn't that close to be discussing intimate detail like that.
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