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How to stop self-harming? possible tw

Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :)EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    rainskyerainskye Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Hi!

    First things first you're super brave for posting this and I admire you a lot. Another thing is, self-harm is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, as 'embarrassing as it may feel, it's really not a form of embarrassment but a sign to show you've fought through your hard times and you're still here.

    However, here are some tips I have for you. The urge to self-harm typically only lasts for 20 minutes, so if you're able to distract yourself by listening to music, going for a walk, painting your nails, cooking food, etc...then hopefully after the 20 minutes the adrenaline and the need to self-harm will be gone...if not, carry on and wait another 20 minutes!

    You've got nothing to be ashamed of sweetie <3
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    rainskyerainskye Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    It definitley does not make you weak...as I mentioned before it shows your bravery if anything <3
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    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    edited June 2021
    Heya! Giving advice from someone who's had a friend who's gone through a similar situation so I hope it helps:
    • Consulting in a friend/someone you trust - confide in someone you trust about this. What you're going through, your mindset, etc.
    • Distraction - When they feel the urge, they distract themselves by doing various activities - painting, playing video games, going out for walks.
    • Therapy & Counselling - I believe you mentioned in your previous post that you're currently in counselling? Would it help to confide in your counsellor and see how they can help you from there?

    Sorry I can't provide as much but I hope it helps! <3
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    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
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    AbbyOwlAbbyOwl Posts: 125 The Mix Convert
    Hey @LorryTruck

    Thank you for being so brave and honest, this shows you are certainly not weak <3 It is nothing to be ashamed of - as @rainskye said, it shows that you've fought through the hard times and won.

    Personally, I use distraction techniques and the CALM HARM app - both of which have helped me. It does also help if you are able to confide in someone you trust. My parents don't understand why I self-harm and this does cause some tension, but I've got a good friend who I trust to be honest with and we support each other.

    Some services to keep in mind are SHOUT - a free text messaging service https://giveusashout.org/ (text SHOUT to 85258 24/7) and Harmless https://harmless.org.uk/ who have some resources on their website and can help you find relevant local services.

    Please know that you have nothing to be ashamed of and that you're a strong person. Be kind to yourself <3
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    AbbyOwlAbbyOwl Posts: 125 The Mix Convert
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    Hey @lovemimoon

    I can't talk to my counselor about it because she has to report it and they ring my parents, which doesnt help me.

    Thank you @AbbyOwl . I would tell a friend but I'm not sure how to go about it.

    That's completely understandable - you need to do what you feel comfortable doing <3

    It can be difficult to put feelings into words and to get everything you want to say across to someone. If you did want to try, maybe you could write out how you're feeling and get everything you want to say down on paper? This might help plan what/how you want to say something. Also, if talking face-to-face about this is too hard or uncomfortable, maybe writing your thoughts/feelings out in a text or letter? Obviously this is an incredibly personal thing, and everyone feels comfortable doing different things, so please don't feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with :blush:

    There are some articles on The Mix about self-harm which I'd recommend (https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/self-harm) and you can always talk to us on here - no one will judge you <3
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    AbbyOwlAbbyOwl Posts: 125 The Mix Convert
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    @AbbyOwl Thank you

    I have an idea. I might make a thread on here of like a sort of journal and I write every day I'm clean from self - harm. So eventually I would have quite a lot of days. And when I feel like doing I write what makes me feel like that. It might make me think a little more before doing it.

    Keeping a journal is a really good idea - whether on here or in a diary (whatever you're most happy doing!) Maybe you could try and think of a positive about yourself, and then you can look over your progress and remind yourself of the things that make you great. From personal experience, this can be harder than it sounds, but it might be worth sticking at as it's a good little pick-me-up for those darker days <3
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    edited June 2021
    The others above have given you some fantastic advice and I don’t have much to add but I understand how tough it is. I find distraction really helps me so things like listening to music.

    The journal thread idea is a really good one I really like that idea and it’ll be a great place for you to share how you’re feeling <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
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    AbbyOwlAbbyOwl Posts: 125 The Mix Convert
    edited June 2021
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    @AbbyOwl

    I think I'll make a thread. What should I call it?

    Hmmm.....maybe if you have something like a favourite positive quote/lyric you could incorporate that?
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