need some help please

max

I've recently been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression. The diagnosis happened a month after my now exgirlfriend of almost 3 years split up with me and we stopped living together. We were toxic i guess in the end, but of course still miss her. I was also studying art but it wasn't enough. I have attempted suicide already twice in the past but don't hope to do it again, i feel like it's not really a control thing. Anyways all of this what feels like chaos, between stopping my passion, stopping what was the best relationship i'd had, and now actually being diagnosed. its too much.
This is really long and whatever happens happens i guess.
But please i'm begging somebody who has done this too. How do you cope
How do you wake up tomorrow and just not feel numb?
And do not the voices, but do the people/feeling of the people go away or this life now?

Past User

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hali8982

Hi Max! I really want to start off by saying I'm so proud of you for everything you have done thus far in terms of recognising when to step out of the relationship, and for now getting help. I want you to know that you're doing everything right! Having struggled with both anxiety and depression, I can understanding how the constant battle in your head and yet feeling incredibly numb can be exhausting. The road to healing may seem long, but like any journey, you must go step by step and with time it gets easier because you learn to handle your emotions better.

Talking to other people about your emotions is a really good way to get any thoughts off your mind, however I know this can be really difficult, so I wrote a letter to my future self. I didn't think it would do much at the time, but when my therapist told me to open up that letter, I saw how much progress I had made from a completely different perspective. I saw how much I had made it through and that really, really pushed me to keep going. Writing that letter and pouring my emotions out allowed me to feel even a slight sense of relief in the moment, and also helped me further down the line.

You can also research some things to for you to do - it can be as little or as big as you want. For me, one of my biggest struggles was getting out of bed and heading outside because I simply didn't want to, so I made up my mind and planned a journey. Make a checklist of every small step to that one thing you want to do. For example, mine looked a little like this:
- Wake up and stretch
- Wash up
- Brush hair
- Pick out outfit
- Put outfit on
- Etc.
You don't have to do everything in one day, but you can make it a little competition and try to go just a little further everyday. The little things really matter, so seeing you tick anything off of that checklist should make you feel (even just a little) good. Another thing that really helped me was getting a plant. I felt like I had a purpose because this plant was my responsibility, and I had full control over taking care of the plant. With anxiety, it can make you feel like you have no control over things, but finding something to do (and taking all the small steps along the way into consideration) will help you realise that you are always in control, not your emotions!

Your mindset is the most important thing - manifest yourself feeling better. A growth mindset is the key to getting better, if you believe you can get better, you will! Mindfulness and meditation (as mentioned by @zaynab_5) will really help you to achieve this!

Acknowledge and validate your negative emotions, just as you would with your positive emotions. When you do this, the rational side of your brain starts to drown out the irrational side. Remember that this storm will pass, and brighter days are coming! I believe in you, and believe you will see the other side and all the beautiful things that life has to offer too.