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How do you deal with lack of support from family and friends?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
in Gender & Sexuality
Hey,
I've been struggling with how my family reacted to both my gender (NB) and my sexuality (bi). It's hit quite hard because my family used to be one of my biggest support networks and really helped my with my mental health and I no longer have this anymore. Every accomplishment was amazing no matter how big or small it was.

I wanted to know if anyone (LGBTQ+ or not) has any advice on how to deal with this type of loss or just a positive message for anyone who feels this way who might read this too!! <3
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Ex-Teenage Dirtbag Posts: 804 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @ren0420 it really sucks that your family would treat you this way. I don't have experience with this myself but I'm close to people who do.

    The way that your family are treating you is in no way okay. Maybe learning of your gender could be a lot to take in for them but that doesn't excuse any kind of poor treatment you're getting as a result of it.

    I obviously don't know how your relationship with your family is and how comfortable you are speaking with them about your sexuality and orientation but its important for them to know that you're not a different person, even if they didn't fully know who you were.

    If things don't change you could consider distancing yourself, if possible and of course only if that's what you want to do. It's not fair on you to be part of a family that won't accept you based on that which you can't control.

    I hope things get better for you and always remember you can talk to us about this at any point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    Apollo wrote: »
    Hey @ren0420 it really sucks that your family would treat you this way. I don't have experience with this myself but I'm close to people who do.

    The way that your family are treating you is in no way okay. Maybe learning of your gender could be a lot to take in for them but that doesn't excuse any kind of poor treatment you're getting as a result of it.

    I obviously don't know how your relationship with your family is and how comfortable you are speaking with them about your sexuality and orientation but its important for them to know that you're not a different person, even if they didn't fully know who you were.

    If things don't change you could consider distancing yourself, if possible and of course only if that's what you want to do. It's not fair on you to be part of a family that won't accept you based on that which you can't control.

    I hope things get better for you and always remember you can talk to us about this at any point.

    Thankyou Apollo, this means a lot :)
    I'm trying to teach them about it and I know I'm still safe staying at home even if they dont want to accept me. If it doesnt work out I'm moving out next year so hopefully we come to some agreement before then...
    Again thanks dude youre the best :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Fingers crossed that you're able to get your family to come around @ren0420 my family weren't super accepting when I first came out but over time they learned and grew and now they're super supportive of me so it's totally possible! :mrgreen: Even if in the end you need to cut them off for your own wellbeing and safety you'd be kicking yourself if you didn't at least try, y'know?

    In terms of a positive message I'll just say there are always gonna be people out there who love and accept you for who you are it's just a matter of finding them, hopefully you find yours as soon as possible! <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @ren0420 I am sorry you are going through this, remember you are valid and no one can tell you your sexuality/ gender. It is not just something you can change, it is not a choice. I hope your family finds a way to accept you and support you because this seems to be affecting you and your family needs to remember that you are same person you were before you came out. I am proud of you for coming out, take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 111 The Mix Convert
    Hey @ren0420

    I can relate to your situation and it really sucks,

    If I can give you a piece of advice it would be to teach your parents that nothing changes and maybe answer some questions they might have.
    For a parent, it could be weird to learn about the sexuality of their kids just because we live in a society full of stigmas that growing up we have to follow, but people are so different and cannot grow up the same way!!

    Just be yourself, let people love you for the beautiful human you are! There is nothing wrong with this, maybe give them some time to elaborate, I think everything would be fine!

    Cosmo.
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