Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨


ChristiaanChristiaan Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
Hi. I am a 17 year old guy.

My favourite way of expressing my sexuality is by masturbating with others (boys or girls) or even on my own (It is even better it it is in nature). I don't really care so much about sexual intercourse. There are so many talk about sexual orientation but I don't find myself in any of those boxes.

I have started masturbating and having orgasms at and extremely young age and I don't know if that is why masturbating with others and by myself are more satisfying than sex. I have used many different ways since I was little. I especially like walking around in my underwear and humping trees.

It's just frustrating. I like being the way I am. I don't want to change. It is just hard to find people that will enjoy masturbating with me. When I was a preteen it was much easier. I often had a friend (mostly boys but from time to time a girl) that would masturbate with me and do all kinds of exciting stuff with ourselves. It became increasingly difficult to find someone as I got older.

I suppose many people will tell me that I am childish and need to grow up but this is really the sexual expression I like best and is also the most exciting and satisfying for me. I start to feel more and more like a freak the older I get. I don't really know what I am asking you. I just feel the need to tell someone. I don't really think anyone can help me with this.


  • ChristiaanChristiaan Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    I have read some of the tags that the other people wrote and found it interesting how people separate sex and romance. I know the Greeks (don't know about modern day Greek) separate it in two forms of love, namely sexus and eros.

    Masturbating alone is good but doing it with someone else is better for me. Doing it in front of someone else makes me feel vulnerable and it is very intimate for me to share something that has been very important and a big part of me since I was little. I feel deeply connected with the people that I have done it with. I usually tell them about my experiences with masturbation since I was small and sharing these stories makes me feel even closer to them. I am always afraid that they will reject me and tell me that the things I have done as a little boy (and still does) are stupid. Some of them have been less interested and that made me sad.

    I do think that my experiences with my friends have been romantic. Some more than others. I often day dream about the people I have done it with and always long for it to happen again. I still talk to all of them but two of them have moved away and most of the others are in relationships now. Even just to talk to them or have coffee with them excites me but then I became sad because it seems that they have outgrown me.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,412 Legendary Poster
    It's great that you've shared your experience here! I think when it comes to sex and masturbation etc, everyone has a different experience. And they're all valid and ok. It can be hard sometimes to find people who have similar preferences to you, but there will be people out there who enjoy the same things as you do :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • ChristiaanChristiaan Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Thank you Independent.
    For some or other reason your comments means more to me because you are a girl. I think it is because I always think that girls are less interested in the silly masturbation activities that boys get into and sometimes even finds them disgusting.
    When I was 8, I heard my older sister (she was a teenager at that stage) telling my mum how gross it is when people play with themselves. She didn't know I was listening but I think my mum did, because she said something about it's okay if little boys do it. From that day on I have always found it difficult to believe that girls can find masturbation to be a good thing and even less so all the silly ways I have done it. I was always afraid that my sister would find me where ever I was busy doing it.
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Hey heyy, welcome to the mix @Christiaan

    I'm glad that you've been able to open up here, we're a judgement free zone here and I'm sure that there are others out there who share similarities with you.

    My self and my gurl friends try to have an open dialogue when it comes to sex. I'm super glad that you touched on the negative connotations towards women masterbating. We're taught to be ashamed and that it's something to be frowned upon. There shouldn't be any shame when it comes to exploring our own bodies and figguring things out.

    The first thing that came to mind when I read your post was naturism, but apparently that's slightly different lol, perhaps youre in search of people who like mutual masterbation and you're seeking to feel less lonely about it (please correct me if I'm wrong)?. We like different things and different things do it for us and it sounds like it was just a bit of experimentation for your peers.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit vulnerable after sharing, I wanted to pop by to say thank you for starting a conversation and hopefully more will feel comfortable chipping in 😉
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,412 Legendary Poster
    I understand where you’re coming from about girls maybe not understanding as much @Christiaan but I think a lot forget that girls and women can enjoy masturbating as much as boys do, but it’s just not talked about as much or seen as quite as “normal” than it is for boys - that’s a society thing though. Even in 2021 some people still think it’s wrong, or gross, when actually it isn’t at all and in fact it’s the opposite. I agree with Salix that there shouldn’t be any shame about it (for anyone of any gender).
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Would love to echo what the others have said - it's very much a society thing that narrates female masturbation. We have always been taught that it's wrong or gross, as Independent says, and so many girls don't talk about it for that reason. They fear they'll be judged. In reality, it is very normal for people of any gender to masturbate. Therefore, it is likely that girls judge you a lot less than you think.

    I really do think it's great that you've been able to share your experience here, you did so well :smile: Again, as Independent says, there are always people out there who will enjoy the same things as you. Sometimes it's a little harder to find them, but by starting an open conversation yourself, you'll already be encouraging others to be more open which is great!

    Best of luck :smile:
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Community Champion Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Hi @Christiaan !

    Thank you for sharing this! To start things off, express your sexuality however way you feel comfortable doing it! :3<3

    It's a little difficult to find someone who has the same interests but, similar to what coc0mac is saying, open dialogue often leads to open opportunities! =) And with the way society is slowly (very slowly, may I add) is shifting views on sex and masturbation, I think it might be easier to find people who share similar interests.

    Echoing what the others are saying about girls masturbating, I appreciate you've expressed this! It isn't often talked about due to a lot of societal stigmas. From my personal experiences though, some think it's gross, some were too shy to talk about it and some were really chill. In reality, we all masturbate!

    As you get older, you may change and you may doubt yourself in the process. And that's okay! At the end of the day, if you feel most comfortable expressing your sexuality through mutual masturbation then that's good. If it's something that satisfies you then that's good too! That's your preference. <3
  • ben2607ben2607 Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    I think that sexual activity albeit by yourself or others can be set parameters and boundaries by yourself and other individuals concerned . You’re simply acting on a biological instinct and seeking pleasure which is totally human and frequent among most men and women. As a guy , do not feel vunerable talking about it your sexuality shouldn’t be labelled or put in a box it’s a fluid and part of your biochemistry. As long as you feel happy in yourself at the current moment , don’t worry about future relationships and a potential label for your sexuality . Present happiness and feeling sexual gratification from knowing what you’re doing is a normal human instinct is all that matters
Sign In or Register to comment.