Confused about sexuality

Former Member

Hi all. Ive been struggling with my sexuality for a few months. I feel like I may be experiencing sexual orientation OCD as I am constantly troubled. I find women attractive but I also feel im attracted to the other sex sometimes but it seems to vary. I can't see myself in a gay relationship and I feel straight a lot of the time but Im not really sure. Could this just be OCD? I have suffered with OCD for many years but never about my sexuality. Thanks

Former Member

Hey, welcome to the boards!

Thank you for sharing this with us - you did great to open up about how you are feeling.

Trying to figure out your sexuality can certainly be a confusing and consuming thing. Sexuality is fluid, so it can seem like your thoughts keep changing over time. Because of this, it can take time to figure things out. I can relate there! So, if you'd ever like to talk about your feelings here, as a way of understanding them better, you are more than welcome to

You mentioned thoughts about whether this could be sexual orientation OCD. As I am not a professional, I wouldn't want to diagnose you/say for sure. However, I did find this article and thought it could be helpful. You might like to compare how much you relate to the obsessions & compulsions they describe. If you think it sounds like you, then perhaps speaking to a professional to learn more about how to cope with this could be a good idea. Maybe if you have spoken to somebody before about your OCD, you could speak to them about this type of OCD too?

We are all right here to help you with this in any way that we can! Take good care x

Former Member

Thank you for your reply! I believe I have seen the article before and I seem to be exhibiting some of the symptoms it suggests. Thank you for your insight. I shall certainly give it some thought.

Emma_

Hey Alkazar,

As Coco said, you've done a great job of opening up about this and naming what you're feeling.

Whilst it might feel really confusing and stressful right now, thats okay! Labels can help some people understand themselves, but others rather not to label and to just go with the flow of how we feel! Thats totally okay too!

We can find someone attractive, but not be attracted to them, if that makes sense? Like we can see someone and think they look good but wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them! That can be confusing enough in itself, so be kind to yourself through all of this

Like Coco said, maybe reaching out to someone who supported you with your OCD before could help with these feelings too, they might be able help to navigate what are obessive thoughts, and what are just exploring how you feel?

Former Member

You're welcome @Past User!

Former Member

Hey , from the perspective of a gay 17 year old I think I can offer some thoughts . Whatever the case is , physically attracted to both sexes but emotionally attracted to just one : You don’t have to label it! This is a part of your identity and sometimes trying to define something without letting it just be can really effect us . I tried to label my sexuality and kept switching between bi/ straight / gay before I decided , it’s just a fluid in me so doesn’t need an accurate name or label . As long as you feel happy and well and it doesn’t trouble you too much then time with help develop that identity as a person and experience may even influence that view . Relationships come in all forms and shapes , let it fit around you and not make yourself fit around expectations. You’ve got this and you can always PM me with anymore thoughts !

Distraction

Hi @Past User !

This is a lot like me! I'm so surprised someone feels the same on here, I'm not so sure about the OCD bit but wanted to let you know there are a lot of us like this out there, you are no where near alone my friend

Former Member

@Past User It seems like you are really struggling, it's sad to hear. Are you feeling ok with your OCD, can you still navigate your thoughts with it? Sexuality is a spectrum, a very large one, so please don't feel the need to define yourself. It is completely normal to find someone, regardless of gender, attractive. Maybe it could be a good idea to think about any other instances that your OCD has affected you, which isn't linked to your sexuality, then you can differentiate between the two. Is this a common trouble you have? If so, I would recommend researching about this subtype of OCD, it may trouble you less then. There is a very helpful organisation which can help you with this, would you like me to send you a link? I hope you feel better and can navigate these feelings.

Former Member

i'm also confused about my sexuality. So, I likegirls, i used to consider myself straight but there's my best friend. He's just so kind and I can't help thinking I like him. He's the only exception. what do i do?

Former Member

@charlieboyz Hello! It's okay to feel confused about your sexuality, I find that sexuality and attraction is very fluid, and it's okay if you haven't got it all figured out. You may just be attracted to the individual instead of the gender, and that's more than okay. Be gentle with yourself, life is confusing and difficult and it's okay to just go with the flow. Love who you want to love, and ignore anyone else's opinions, you and your mental health are the only things that matter!

Former Member

thank you i needed to hear that

Former Member

I like to have labels for things. I identify as genderfluid but am confused about my sexuality - at first I said I was pansexual, then for a while I thought I was just into women, and I now identify as omnisexual but I'm not sure if there's a label for what I am. I'm into women and other genders more than men, but still feel attraction to men sometimes. I also don't know if I have a romantic drive, I've only dated one person and I didn't feel it with them and I've never really had proper crushes on anyone.

sinead276

Hi and hope you’re doing okay,

Whilst I can’t specifically tell you what you’d identify as or anything like that, I just wanted to say that whilst having labels may help you identify who you are (which is perfectly okay), remember there is no rush to work out for definite your sexuality and that any label you identify with can change in the future and that is also okay. It’s perfectly okay to also not to have a romantic drive as well – some people do and some people don’t, it’s just the way life is.

At the end of the day, we love who we love so don’t try and put too much pressure on assigning yourself to a specific label. But at the same time, if you find/work out a label for you then that’s also great.

Just wanted to send some reassurance that this is common for many (probably more than we think), especially at the age we all are, so there is absolutely no rush.

Sending hugs and take care,
Sinead