Being compared

Former Member

"in three words, I can sum up everything I've learnt about life. It goes on"

Being compared is one of the worst feelings. It is something many people have to go through from time to time. Sometimes society compares you with someone else, sometimes parents, sometimes we ourselves compare oneself to others.

I've been compared to multiple people on a daily basis by my parents. They have compared me to my sister and my friends. They always find something to look down on me, to prove that I'm not good enough. They have made it clear multiple times that they are ashamed of me.

They always compare me with my sister in the fields she is better in not in which I'm better or we are equal. I'm being compared to others in everything I do. It saddens me to great depth. It makes me feel that no matter how hard I try I'll always be a failure.

Everyone should know that they are enough the way they are. They shouldn't change themselves in order to be accepted. If people refuse to accept them for themselves then they don't deserve you. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be good. Draw stick figures, sing off key, write bad poems, run slowly, play video games at easy. You do not need to be good at something to enjoy it. Talent is overrated. Do things you like doing. Don't change yourself to become someone you are compared from.

Past User

You have an intelligent way of looking at things and rationalising the things that are making you / have made you feel low. It's admirable there's a lot of depth to that.

I notice you say "everyone should" and "they shouldn't." I'm just curious if you're including yourself there? I often find it impossible to take my own advice with regards to being happier and more positive.

Thanks for the post!

Former Member

@Past User I try to include myself when I say everyone but always end up not believing myself. As much as I hate being one I'm a hypocrite. I keep reminding people how amazing they are, that they are valid and worthy of love but I do not think that about myself. Just cuz I can tell people positive stuff doesn't mean I'm not full of insecurities and self loathing

Past User

Sorry to hear that Skye, it's something I really empathise with. Hopefully you have people to comment on those positives for you. You seem kind and intelligent and I can say that as someone who doesn't know much about you.

Former Member

Some really important words of wisdom shared here! Thank you for this

I truly hope that some day soon you can give the same love & kindness to yourself. Self-love really is a journey and can take time. However, the fact that you recognise the fact you think differently about yourself, and dislike being a 'hypocrite', is honestly a huge first step into this journey. We will be right here to support you in any way we can, every step of the way.