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I don’t want to do this anymore

EyepatchEyepatch Smol BeanPosts: 664 Incredible Poster
I am so so tired of being a keyworker.
I’m now trained to take peoples tests and now I do so many each week, both the ones you have to post and the 30min ones we have to do before starting work.

It’s probably selfish but I just want to stay at home, work is so much everyday. It’s not hard, there is just too much of it. Everyone seems to need me all the time for things I’m sure they can do themselves. And if I mess up a test then the vulnerable people we work with might suffer. And it would be my fault.

It’s not like I can relax at home, I don’t have my own place and am crashing with my friends parents. They are very kind but it’s hard to relax without a place to call my own.





"Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
DandelionAzzimancoc0macAnch0r33Zoya_Jungkook

Comments

  • RileyRiley Posts: 687 Super Moderator
    I'm sorry to hear that you're so washed out by this all @Eyepatch I can only imagine how stressful it must be for you. Do you mind me asking how long you've been taking people's tests? I can only hope that with vaccinations rolling out it won't be much longer that you have to deal with all this.

    Have you considered talking to the people you're staying with and trying to get some time to yourself so you can properly relax? Everybody needs time to themselves sometimes and hopefully getting some time to yourself would help you feel a little less run down like you described. Please let us know if there's anything we on the boards can do to help! <3
    Eyepatch
  • EyepatchEyepatch Smol Bean Posts: 664 Incredible Poster
    Thank you, maybe four months or so- it’s interesting in an educational way but so stressful because no one likes being tested and if I mess up they have redo it. I told my boss I was stressed and he got me some new office stuff which was really nice.

    Where I live I feel like I’m always avoiding them :/ I feel rude but also just too tired to be social. I play lots of online games instead because I don’t have the energy to draw or write like I used to and games are easy and distracting. It helps to get this off my chest tho, I was hoping I wasn’t the only one feeling this way :/
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
  • Zoya_JungkookZoya_Jungkook LancashirePosts: 56 Boards Initiate
    @Eyepatch
    I can only imagine what you're going through... It must be so difficult though I am positive that you are not the only one feeling this way. To a certain extent, I can relate though I feel your situation is more difficult than my own. There is a support chat on here if you would like to speak to anyone else about how you are feeling. There are also services on here to support you and my PMs are always open if you wanna talk to somebody :) Hope you have a lovely day
    "You are the sunlight that rose again in my life, a reincarnation of my childhood dreams, I don’t know what these emotions are. Am I still dreaming?"
    Eyepatch
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 752 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Eyepatch,

    This isn't selfish of you at all. It seems you have been working so hard, and with the responsibility it can feel emotionally draining too. Thank you so much for all you have done so far by the way :heart:

    I really hope it helped you in some way to let this off your chest. As Riley says, if there's anything we can do to help please do let us know - right here for you :smile:
    Eyepatch
  • EyepatchEyepatch Smol Bean Posts: 664 Incredible Poster
    Thank you, I think I just bottled everything up for too long. I get that being stuck at home must be hard for a lot of people, but it’s all I want right now :/ I think my boss at work noticed I was stressed, they got me a bigger office desk and let me choose paint for the walls, it was very kind and thoughtful. Playing games helps as a distraction so at least I’ve got that.

    Stay safe everyone
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
    natalie_bZoya_JungkookRiley
  • RileyRiley Posts: 687 Super Moderator
    I'm really glad to hear things have gotten a little better for you @Eyepatch your boss at work seems very nice. Bottling things up can get really stressful over time so having a place like the boards where you can get everything off your chest can be a big help. Feel free to keep us all updated with how you're doing! :)
    Eyepatch
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