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Was I sexually assaulted?
Former Member
Posts: 1 Just got here
I don’t know who to ask, so here I am!
I’m a girl (18) and back in December I got with someone for the first time. At the time I was under the influence of a lot of alcohol, weed and MDMA (over a gram) to the point that I was hallucinating before and during the sex. The girl I slept with however only had a little alcohol and then some weed however she was mostly sober.
During the encounter I didn’t feel any pleasure from it and was so nervous I literally chewed part of my finger off (gross right - MDMA for you). Afterwards I felt terrible and every time I think about it now which is quite a lot I get anxious and sometimes even have a panic attack.
She was really nice but at the same time, I can’t help feeling that she should of saw that I might of been too high and said no.
I want to know if this was assault? I initiated it but was I too high really to consent? I don’t think this is rape, but was it misconduct? I just want to validate the way that I feel at the moment.
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Comments
I hope you can feel better from it, sounds like quite a experience, anxiety is a not a nice thing to deal with
First off, the way you feel is 100% valid, whatever feelings you have are always valid.
In principle even if you initiated it this doesn't mean you consented, especially as you were under the influence.
As for the other party, it depends on how high they were too as if they were also highly intoxicated (even if she took less than you her tolerance may be much lower) they would not have the mental capacity to ask for consent however this doesn't mean their behaviour was acceptable
If you feel able and would like to I would really recommend speaking to the other person, try and gain some clarity but if this will cause you mental stress please do not do this.
I'd say sit with it for a while, think through how you felt in that moment and determine whether you feel it was assault or not and never let anyone invalidate you. Whatever you feel about the situation is okay and valid
Take care ♡