I'm officially sick of life right now

awesomeminecraft6789

Hi guys

I'm really pissed off at the moment excuse my language but I really really am everything is normal with my relationship but with the emergence of a new problem as well as everything else on my mind I'm starting to hate life and myself again

So it started a few weeks ago my friend asked if I could give them a friend who used to be her friend as well I don't think that makes sense but oh well she asked if I could give her his insta so I asked him if he could give her it then he wanted to know why cause he's moved on and all that and he basically insulted her through messages to me and since I care about her a lot it killed me inside I'll tell you all straight and tried sticking up for her but she didn't really care anyway because she's used to him doing that to her but still it affected me 

And on my insta story I talk about pretty much half the stuff I talk about on here but a more dumbed down versions as not to trigger anyone but my man said why are you being so dramatic and your being repetitive and when I asked why does it matter cause does it really matter when I'm upset? let me know what you guys think then he says cause I see your fng story everyday then I tell him simply nobody said you had to look at it hes mocking me basically and I posted it on my story today probably wasn't the best idea but he shouldn't be saying these things I did literally nothing to hurt him and he's acting like I have he used to be cool as well and he's just acting like hes better then me if you all would like to see the message just drop me a message and tell me what you all think

You know what the funny thing is? We haven't spoken in months and he's acting like this I'm a nice guy but I end up with the wrong end of the stick and it's always me that ends up with the broken heart or practically in tears and half the time crying my eyes out I've got everything I wanted but I'm still not happy because with things that have been happening with my ex and then that one time where I went full on paranoid cause I found out my girlfriend was with someone else that ended up happening ages ago I'm not giving up hope though as much as Ive wanted to do something stupid to myself and still do I'm trying really trying to pull together I've survived a chronic illness that could have killed me cause I completely stopped breathing once and I've survived an attempt I still think that's bad luck and it probably still is in my head cause I'm still having doubts of my place here it might just be my depression making me believe that but it's getting too much and I'm falling behind on work and sometimes even missing zoom sessions hell I even turned down a volunteering job here on the mix which I wanted but im dealing with way too much and it's affecting me to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore I'm losing lots of sleep I'm losing a lot mentally and it's got to the point where I keep telling my girl you know you can break up with me if you want it's just me I'm trying everything for her to be normal but I'm really really struggling so to her if she reads this in sorry if I'm not enough for you I'm really trying to be but I'm just not 💔😢

I don't know what to do guys Ik I haven't really replied to you guys on my posts but I just don't know what to say I'm not ignoring you guys I just can't reply at the moment I'm feeling like garbage now again and a lot of other things I even told my girlfriend this he was right to call me dramatic and repetitive because it's my fault I'm posting that stuff on my story and she's right with she said I shouldn't blame myself but I've just found it easy to cause I don't know who else to and I deserve to be treated like I'm nothing because thats clearly what everyone else thinks of me 

I'm really sick and tired of life ik I shouldn't say this but I'm really hating life at the minute because nothing seems to be going right for me anymore 😭😭💔

maryam852

@awesomeminecraft6789 It seems like you are having a tough time, I hope you are ok. You seem very stressed from your writing and it may be worth taking a step back and assessing everything. I understand how you feel about your friend and am sorry that she was going through that. Your feelings when it comes to this are completely valid and I am grateful that you are reaching out. It may be worth taking a break and assessing your priorities. It may be worth having a timetable or a list of things you need to do, then you ca stay on track even if you aren't feeling great. I am glad you are speaking to your girlfriend but maybe you can explain to her what is going on and how you are feeling. You seem to be experiencing depression, which is ok. You should never internalise what other say and think of you, the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. I would recommend engaging in activities you like (maybe you can take up the volunteering opportunity) and keeping a healthy sleep schedule. I think it is important to remember that you are important to many people (like your girlfriend) and not to blame for others' actions. Stay healthy and remember that you are important to lots of people even if it may not feel like it at the moment.

summerxo21

awesomeminecraft6789 wrote: »

Hi guys

I'm really pissed off at the moment excuse my language but I really really am everything is normal with my relationship but with the emergence of a new problem as well as everything else on my mind I'm starting to hate life and myself again
So it started a few weeks ago my friend asked if I could give them a friend who used to be her friend as well I don't think that makes sense but oh well she asked if I could give her his insta so I asked him if he could give her it then he wanted to know why cause he's moved on and all that and he basically insulted her through messages to me and since I care about her a lot it killed me inside I'll tell you all straight and tried sticking up for her but she didn't really care anyway because she's used to him doing that to her but still it affected me 

And on my insta story I talk about pretty much half the stuff I talk about on here but a more dumbed down versions as not to trigger anyone but my man said why are you being so dramatic and your being repetitive and when I asked why does it matter cause does it really matter when I'm upset? let me know what you guys think then he says cause I see your fng story everyday then I tell him simply nobody said you had to look at it hes mocking me basically and I posted it on my story today probably wasn't the best idea but he shouldn't be saying these things I did literally nothing to hurt him and he's acting like I have he used to be cool as well and he's just acting like hes better then me if you all would like to see the message just drop me a message and tell me what you all think

You know what the funny thing is? We haven't spoken in months and he's acting like this I'm a nice guy but I end up with the wrong end of the stick and it's always me that ends up with the broken heart or practically in tears and half the time crying my eyes out I've got everything I wanted but I'm still not happy because with things that have been happening with my ex and then that one time where I went full on paranoid cause I found out my girlfriend was with someone else that ended up happening ages ago I'm not giving up hope though as much as Ive wanted to do something stupid to myself and still do I'm trying really trying to pull together I've survived a chronic illness that could have killed me cause I completely stopped breathing once and I've survived an attempt I still think that's bad luck and it probably still is in my head cause I'm still having doubts of my place here it might just be my depression making me believe that but it's getting too much and I'm falling behind on work and sometimes even missing zoom sessions hell I even turned down a volunteering job here on the mix which I wanted but im dealing with way too much and it's affecting me to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore I'm losing lots of sleep I'm losing a lot mentally and it's got to the point where I keep telling my girl you know you can break up with me if you want it's just me I'm trying everything for her to be normal but I'm really really struggling so to her if she reads this in sorry if I'm not enough for you I'm really trying to be but I'm just not 💔😢

I don't know what to do guys Ik I haven't really replied to you guys on my posts but I just don't know what to say I'm not ignoring you guys I just can't reply at the moment I'm feeling like garbage now again and a lot of other things I even told my girlfriend this he was right to call me dramatic and repetitive because it's my fault I'm posting that stuff on my story and she's right with she said I shouldn't blame myself but I've just found it easy to cause I don't know who else to and I deserve to be treated like I'm nothing because thats clearly what everyone else thinks of me 

I'm really sick and tired of life ik I shouldn't say this but I'm really hating life at the minute because nothing seems to be going right for me anymore 😭😭💔

so sorry feel free to pm if you need support or check my depression chat thread @maryam852