Online Dating

Former Member

So I done something stupid. 

I started online dating and in the last 3 months I been talking to two guys. I have only met up with one of them a few times and like him more. 

The other guy I feel really bad like I lead him on. How do I "end" something that hasn't really started cause I feel so bad. 

Former Member

Hey @Willow

It sounds like you're in a bit of a jam. I've been in this situation before, and I've always found that it's best just to be honest with the other person. Gently let them know that you think they're a great person but you don't want to pursue a relationship with them. You can give your reasons if you feel comfortable doing that but you're under no obligation. Like you said, you can't end something that hasn't really started! 

It's totally normal to feel a little guilty or like you're leading someone on but just remember, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Dating is all about exploring your options and figuring out what you want.

Former Member

Hey @Willow !

I agree with @Past User, sometimes honesty is the best policy .

I just wanted to add something else. 
Try not to feel bad. Especially when online dating. Online dating allows you to date with ease. You seem interested in someone and not interested in the other person, which was likely to happen. Rejection is an expectation when dating so please try not to worry about this too much. We don't like everybody and everybody doesn't like us!  

Happy dating!

Former Member

I was thinking of online dating but I'm not allowed any dating apps because I'm quite young. I've had a boyfriend before (not online) we were together for 2 years. Any ideas?

Former Member

I know this would make me sound like a horrible person but I ended up ghosting him as I had too much anxiety built. I didn't know how to word it and was afraid to be yelled at (even if it is through a text). The other guy however I don't know feels like I am losing him now. He isn't as responsive anymore and I just feel like he isn't interested in me. Like I been on 5 walking dates with him. He hasn't held my hand once or anything. No hug, nothing. Feel like this is a red flag maybe I don't know. Which is sad cause I really quite like him. 

Former Member

Wanted to update I was overreacting everything is cool with this guy. I think I am putting a lot of pressure and expectations on myself rather than just chilling the hell out.

Former Member

Hi @Willow,

This doesn't make you a horrible person at all. Although honesty is the best policy, sometimes anxiety can take over. And to be honest, ghosting is quite common on dating apps, in a sense that I hear of this happening quite often. So please don't be too hard on yourself about this - you had to put yourself first

I'm pleased to hear everything is okay with the guy you are talking to. It's great that you have been able to recognise the pressure and expectations you are putting on yourself. Once you have recognised this, it is easier to take steps to overcome it. If you'd ever like to talk about anything on here, to try and reduce some of the pressure, we will always be right here to listen.

Best of luck