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I need a friend or something

I'm new to this and this is probably going to end up as a massive rant but I don't feel very supported at the moment and wanted to give this a go cause it seems to help some people.

I don't have a lot of friends, today I've been thinking that maybe I'm just too much of a downer and the people i'vs surrounded myself with are tired of me cause i keep trying to reach out and ask for help and I keep getting ignored. If some one is having a hard time im there in a heartbeat but everyone is just tired of me, so i'm tired of reaching out.

I'm in University in the UK but im from California, I moved here right after finishing high school and all of the 4 people im still in contact with there are people that i can call to mess around with but not people I can talk to about my mental health, and then because of the 8 hour time differnece there I can't contact them super often to take my mind off anything anyway. Any way today has been super difficult cause I'm doing a theatre course and we have to pick groups for our final performance and nobody wants me, I thought I had made friends with the people on my course but i'm still always the last one left over that no one wants to work with. I've been dreading this module since last year where we also had to choose groups and people kept  trying to leave the group I was in because they didn't wanna work with me.

I thought I was supposed to get skills to take me into the real world but i feel like all i've been left with is the same talentless, cant contribute to anything, nobody likes me or working with me mindset i started with. The more I've worked on things the more I feel confirmed on the thought anything I do only ever ends up mediocre and i will only ever be average, I've moved countrys and i'm ending up with less friends than I started with because theres too many things wrong with me and I dont know how to succeed or make or keep friends. My dad thinks I should tell my tutors about what stress i'm experiencing but I don't think that theres anything they can do. I just wanted finish uni and actually feel like I can do something and that I'm actually worth something and all the money that my parents have spent on me.

maybe tmi but I just havent stopped crying or feeling like i wanna puke, I wanna feel like I belong somewhere and I dont know how. I don't wanna die cause I want things to get better but i've been in the same place for 7 years, and atm I just feel like disapearing or dropping out of uni, when this is the last term and if I did I would just be a disapointment to my family cause I'm going to be the first to graduate

Sorry

Comments

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    DylanJamesDylanJames Posts: 35 Boards Initiate
    Hi there @Skullkid

    I might as well be honest and say I’m not very good at giving advice but I am a great listener! It might sound cheesy or a bit cliche but I could do with a friend too. What you’re experiencing, I can relate to most of it (apart from moving country that’s a step and you should feel independent, it’s a brave thing to do) the people that are left in my life, whenever I tell them about how I’m feeling they just disregard my feelings completely so I understand how that hurts. If you ever need someone to chat to I’m happy to listen and to try and distract those bad thoughts if yours. Sorry if this doesn’t help much but feel free to inbox me 

    -DylanJames :) x
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    SkullkidSkullkid Posts: 2 Newbie
    Hey @DylanJames thank you for the response

    it really did help to get a response and i would inbox you but i can't figure out how lol, I'm feeling a bit better now but it goes so fast from feeling good to feeling stressed or sad again, If you wanna talk  help me figure out this site =PP other wise thank you for the response and I hope you feel better too <33
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here


    Hi sending big hugs. <3 Moving must have been really tough and it’s understandable for you to be struggling. We’re always here if you ever need anything, I know posting here has helped me so much.


    I’m sorry I don’t have any advice. Just wanted to say big hugs and I’m always happy to listen whenever you need anything. :)


    Also you’ll be able to pm people once you reach 10 posts. Then when you click someone’s profile an envelope will be next to their name and you can click it to message people.


    Sorry if this came across patronising. 


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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here

    Hey @DylanJamesjust wanted to say I’m always happy to listen if you ever need anything too. You can pm me anytime if you ever need anything. Take care  <3


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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @Skullkid

    Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us. I understand that you feel tired of reaching out to others, but I am so glad that you did decide to reach out here. We all care a lot, so I hope you find some great friendships here :heart:

    You really do deserve some support with this. You deserve to feel so happy, to feel loved by others and to feel proud of who you are. I think you should feel super proud for even reaching out here today :smile: And I hope that with the right support, things do start looking up for you :smile:

    You mentioned that your dad thinks you should talk to your tutors, but you aren't sure what they could do. How would you feel about giving it a go? Cliche, but you never know until you try. Your tutors are there to support you, you're important. 

    I know that a lot of people on these boards join the chats too - there are a few different group chats throughout the week. I'm wondering if you'd find it helpful to join those too - to make new friends, to talk about how you are feeling, and perhaps even to boost your confidence? No pressure of course, but I wanted to make sure you knew the option was there. 


    Take good care :heart:
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