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I really could use a talk right now 😢

awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
Hey guys I really could use a talk right now 

With everything that's been going on I'm starting to feel more and more worthless considering its right there in my brain constantly I'm hating myself to the point we're self harm or suicide might be the only way out I'm not even sure if I'm still with my girlfriend and I can't get over what happened with my ex I'm constantly thinking I'm ruining the relationship because I'm stressing her out I'm pretty sure I don't blame her if she breaks up with me at this point she deserves better and Ik she does

I'm finding It hard to find reasons to stay I'm really trying before my ex now I broke up with someone well they broke up with me and I was honestly heartbroken and then I went to my ex and asked her out then since I wasn't sure about relationships after what happened I said could we just be friends and ended it and that was in January of last year or February I can't remember and it was only in October she brought it up I was minding my own business helping decorate for Halloween and she acts like I'm the worst person in the world which now, I'm actually starting to believe

It's the fact that she has the audacity to do that when she's got a new boyfriend a new boyfriend and she just won't stop it's gonna sound mean I know but I'm surprised he ain't broken up with her cause her friend in my class can see what she's doing is affecting me and she tells me to ignore her and I swear to you I'm trying I really am but I can't get rid of it and every time I've tried to ignore her she bes like oh your not talking to me what a shame and she's older then me that's the thing and she's acting like this Ive almost snapped at her we got into an argument In the playground and I almost snapped at her the teachers, thankfully stopped it before I could cause I would have and then I ended up upset and couldn't tell my friend or girlfriend cause they asked if I was ok and I was so upset I couldn't form words right without almost crying 😭

I'm literally dying inside guys everyone's been trying to cheer me up and keep me smiling but I just can't my year turned around when I got with who I'm with now and I thought I was finally getting good luck cause I deserve it but of course I was wrong and what's getting me the most and making me even more guilty and stupid then I already am is the fact that I think I'm stressing my girlfriend out and that's the last thing I want she's dealing with enough as it is and im probably making it worse that's why I think I'm ruining it if she sees this it's really awkward to talk about on here because it's not just her that sees it it's pretty much everyone no offence to you guys of course but if she sees this I want her to know I love her so so much I probably wouldn't say it to her face but I think I need her a lot more then she needs me or anyone else needs me I've been so overwhelmed with my depression that I'm constantly beating myself up constantly hating myself I really don't know what to do I can't stop thinking about everything that's happened and I can't take it anymore😭💔

If I don't come back thank you all for everything you have done to try and help me I really really appreciate it you guys have made me smile for the first time in a while I know you guys don't know me but I wish I knew you you all are awesome and amazing people honestly god bless you all as well as my girlfriend she knows who she is 

Hopefully I'll be back soon guys after this I'm going off for a while so this might be my last one depending on how I feel or if I'm not already gone or if my heart is finally in the right place

I love you all thank you all so much I know I already said it but you all all of you who have helped me deserve it same to @Emoji246 thanks so much for everything you have done for me you've really helped me and I'll never forget you 🙂❤


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    Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Hey pal, 

    It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your mind right now and it's feeling all too much? We're here to talk with you, if that's what you'd like? You can keep posting here and getting all of your thoughts and feelings out. It's really healthy to talk about the thoughts we're having, especially when they're quite heavy thoughts. It's good to share and so i'm glad that you're doing just that. How are you feeling now you've got all of that off of your chest? 

    I know that feeling of thinking i'm worthless. You're not alone with that at all. I try to remember though that no one is really worthless. Whenever i'm quite mean to myself my mam will always remind me that if I don't feel good about myself, I won't feel good about anything else either and that self-worth is so important. You should be kinder to yourself, compliment yourself more often, notice what you're good at. I've started getting back into the habit of writing 3 things i like about myself every day. It's difficult at first but it's really worth it. I think people get so used to telling themselves that they're bad at things or they're stupid or whatever, they forget the good things and i wholeheartedly believe that EVERYONE has good traits, It's important to remind ourselves of them too. I know it's difficult when we're struggling with our mental health, depression can lie to us and make us believe that we really are worthless but I promise that's not the case, you're not worthless. You are worth so much. Everyone is worth so much.

    It sounds like you're having a bit of bother with your ex. Do you feel able to talk to your girlfriend about your feelings re. your ex. It's good to share and i'm not going to give relationship advice because, well... i've never been in a relationship but honesty is always the best policy and i believe that it's always good to share whats on our minds. If you were to tell your girlfriend what's happening, maybe she would appreciate being kept in the loop, and then you'd know where the relationship stands? 

    Do you have anyone else to share these thoughts with, they're quite heavy and you shouldn't have to keep them to yourself. I'm thinking like perhaps your parents, your doctor, counsellor or maybe even a teacher? They'd be able to help you further and also be able to keep you safe, because it sounds like you're in a dark place right now.

    It sounds like you were signing off just there and so i'll just say that I hope to see you back. You contribute a lot to this community and we all care about you a lot.

    Please remember that you're important, you belong here and you're brave.

    You've got this buddy, we believe in ya.
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    edited January 2021
    Hi @awesomeminecraft6789 big hugs. You’re a wonderful person and we love having you here. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and I’m sorry you’re really hurting.  I know everything feels isolating right now but you should be proud of yourself for reaching out.

     Sorry I can’t say anything more helpful. You’ve gotten some really good advice and support from liam. I’m  Just echoing that We’ll always be here if you ever need anything. You’re an awesome person and we’re lucky to have you here (if you need a break that’s perfectly ok it’s good to take breaks but you’re welcome back anytime :) ) . We may not have all the answers but we promise you’re never alone. Wishing you all the best, always happy to listen. 
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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    @awesomeminecraft6789 Hi I know that you feel really low right now but let me tell you something Brandon you are definitely not worthless and I know that your ex didn’t really deserve you anyway in my honest opinion she kept bossing you about all the time and not giving you space on your own and if you ask me that’s a bit mean of her.
    im sure you aren’t stressing your girlfriend out if you think that you should speak to her about it.
    Please never think of self harm and suicide because that’s not very nice to think and please don’t hurt yourself because that is really painful I know I did it on my arm and that really hurt so I wouldn’t want you to go through the pain.
    ive told youu a lot of times before Brandon that the people that bring you down you should stay away from because if they know your upset they will do it more and more and Upset you more.
    I really wish I can take all the sadness away from you Brandon you are doing really well you are a strong amazing person everyone is lucky to have you in their life always remember that ❤️
    You know where to go if you ever need anyone to listen to you can always come back on here no matter what it is.
    I appreciate it it’s no problem I will never forget you too 🙂
    Stay strong!
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