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Dealing with being Alone
Former Member
Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
I mentioned in another forum that I was recently dumped a couple of months ago from a 5 year relationship.
At the moment I am dealing with that and if have moved on but I am struggling with me new friend loneliness.
So I don't have a single friend, I don't even have acquaintances.
I started trying to move on from my life and got onto online dating (Tinder) which turned out to be a lot of guys my age just wanting nudes or sex. (I didn't participate).
I managed to start talking to this one guy and have seen him a few times. Nothing happened not even hand holding (though given the current climate I am okay with that for now). He used to talk a lot but I feel like I am bothering him as he doesn't reply as often now. I am probably overthinking it a lot and he does say sorry a lot of the time if he hasn't spoken in a while which makes me feel better cause he's acknowledged the silence but because he is the only person that speaks to me now feel really sad waiting for a text.
I am trying to not be as open with him as i don't want to scare him off. Worried if he sees how sad I am i either find out he doesn't care or he doesn't want to deal with someone like that and i just feel more miserable. Also it is very early days so don't want to view this guy as someone who might stay or stick around even if I do like him as well as putting my emotional baggage on him now feels really petty and wrong.
Family out the question as I know where i stand now with them.
Been more upset recently because my rabbit died last week and I got her 8 (9) years ago the same year I was diagnosed with depression. So the fact she is gone makes me feel like i lost my only friend.
Wanted to know if anyone has any coping mechanism to deal with being utterly alone in the world. Open to suggestion even if they are impossible to do right now cause of Covid.
At the moment I am dealing with that and if have moved on but I am struggling with me new friend loneliness.
So I don't have a single friend, I don't even have acquaintances.
I started trying to move on from my life and got onto online dating (Tinder) which turned out to be a lot of guys my age just wanting nudes or sex. (I didn't participate).
I managed to start talking to this one guy and have seen him a few times. Nothing happened not even hand holding (though given the current climate I am okay with that for now). He used to talk a lot but I feel like I am bothering him as he doesn't reply as often now. I am probably overthinking it a lot and he does say sorry a lot of the time if he hasn't spoken in a while which makes me feel better cause he's acknowledged the silence but because he is the only person that speaks to me now feel really sad waiting for a text.
I am trying to not be as open with him as i don't want to scare him off. Worried if he sees how sad I am i either find out he doesn't care or he doesn't want to deal with someone like that and i just feel more miserable. Also it is very early days so don't want to view this guy as someone who might stay or stick around even if I do like him as well as putting my emotional baggage on him now feels really petty and wrong.
Family out the question as I know where i stand now with them.
Been more upset recently because my rabbit died last week and I got her 8 (9) years ago the same year I was diagnosed with depression. So the fact she is gone makes me feel like i lost my only friend.
Wanted to know if anyone has any coping mechanism to deal with being utterly alone in the world. Open to suggestion even if they are impossible to do right now cause of Covid.
5
Comments
This must feel really lonely if you haven’t got a single friend but let me tell you this all of us on the mix will support you and talk to you whenever you want and if you want you can always pm if you want a chat.
About the online dating sometimes if you online date half of them are only on online dating just because they want nudes or sex because that’s happen to me first and that’s not very nice also some people lie about their age to so you have to be really careful about who you talk to ❤️.
If you feel like you are bothering him maybe you should talk to him about how you feel and tell him you think your bothering him and I’m sure he will give you some reassurance that you aren’t bothering him.
Sometimes people just need a bit of reassurance.
I promise you you won’t scare him of if he really loves you he will stay with you no matter what and he will help you if he really loves you and cares.
I’m so sorry about your rabbit it seems that things are really hard for you right now and I’m sorry you feel so down❤️🥺 like I said you can always pm me and I’ll be your friend 🙂
Sending huge hugs 🥰
Remember you are not alone we are here for you.
Alina
Re online dating. There can be a lot of people there who only want one thing. You can still find some good people there too.
It's great you find someone good!
Maybe he could be busy and that's why he doesn't reply as much?
I know how it feels waiting for a text cause it's sometimes the only interaction you may get. There should be a good balance with these things.
I spent some time working on being alone and handling it better because sometimes we need to enjoy our company. You should also though, have someone or a network you can communicate with.
Have you tried finding more friends online? You can make great friends i have
Find something you enjoy and you may be able to meet some that way.
Very sorry to hear about your rabbit passing, it's never easy losing a pet so be kind to yourself while you process that ❤️
Re coping mechanisms. Are there any hobbies you enjoy? I.e watch a film. Play some games. I love getting music on and colouring in. Or just browsing through forums and supporting others or having a general chitchat.
Just anything you really enjoy, pair it with some music or background noise and it can feel less lonely x
Edit: Just remembered the loneliness guide too! https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3597761/our-guide-to-loneliness
Thanks for your response and for your support, still fairly new to the mix as i am not sure where I can talk to anyone so have just been on the discussion board.
Annoyingly with the online dating as I have never had to resort to it before, I must of hit a bad batch of guys cause they were all like that apart from one. I followed the apps guidelines and the safety rules and what to look for so i don't feel as worried about it.
I wouldnt want to bother this guy that I am talking to at the moment with my problems as it is way too early days to be saying we love one another when we haven't engaged in anything as I said havent even held hands! Also i dont think i would want him to ever find out how depressed I am seeing as that is why i keep losing everyone.
I guess what is hard is I don't have like a female friend I can talk to. I rely heavily in this one piece of human contact. I guess what i need to understand or get in my head is what i view as busy isn't going to be the same for another. for example I don't class as playing a game or watching a tv show as busy but perhaps that what it is for other people because they dont feel like me and perhaps value there perhaps self care time more. So yh i guess hes busy.
I tried for a year an app which is all about making new friends and i was talking to a few girls but they stopped messaging and kind of put me down even more.
There is a few things I enjoy doing, sewing, photography, editing to name a few however for me I don't have the space to do the things I like anymore or the energy as work can take its toll on me. I listen to music a lot, thats definately one of my coping mechanisms.
I don't know, i guess I didn't expect to be this alone in my life, i thought I would have like a best friend or something or work pals cause I dont even have that as the girl in my office has it out for me for some reason I can't say why. I guess maybe i kind of wished someone thought about me so i felt like i exisit in someway cause at the moment i feel invisible, and like I can pretty much do anything I want like disappear because no one would think of me to even notice.
I guess maybe what I am trying to find is acceptance in me being alone and once I learn that whether I like it or not that is what it will be from now on and once I maybe accept that reality I be able to feel more comfortable around myself all the time.