Online Relationship Help

Former Member

Hey,
I'm just looking for some advice.

I recently matched with someone on the Hinge Dating App. I really like him and he seems to like me. We also seem to have similar interests (food, hiking and travelling).

However as we are both in tier 4 lockdown cos of COVID and so we can't really meet. We said we should sort of meet sometime in the future after COVID but I dunno what to do in the meantime.

I don't want him to get bored so I want to keep messaging him but as we have already established we have some similar interests I dunno what to message about as I don't want to basically talk about everything and then have nothing to talk about when we meet.

Any advice on what to message about or how often would be much appreciated. 

Thanks

independent_

I appreciate my situation might be a little different @scottyjones98, but I found that when my partner and I are long distance, just talking about our days helps. It sounds like it would be boring, but actually I have many things which at the end of the day I’m really excited to tell my partner about, even if it’s the most mundane thing in the world because if we weren’t communicating through the internet, that’s the kind of stuff we would share. 

Myself and my partner have been together for 2.5 years now (with much of this time spent 100 miles apart) but in the beginning, asking questions really helped. Find out everything you can, even if it seems too silly, or even too deep. Find out what your partner thinks about things you’re passionate about such as world issues, politics etc - keeping these discussions respectful of course.

And most importantly, be honest with each other - online you don’t always have the body language to help you out, so you have to communicate effectively with words

Former Member

Thank you for replying with you thoughts @independent_ it means a lot.

I overthink too much of what I say as I always feel it's hard online to say what I want as you don't have body language to express yourself and I don't want to say the wrong thing.

I don't want him to get bored of me, before we have even met and I sort of don't want to say so what other interests do you have and then we have nothing to talk about when we do eventually meet. I understand what you mean about just talking about our days in general, but I don't feel we are at that stage just yet, we've only messaged for a couple of days and both of us don't always respond straight away, so I still think the relationship needs to grow a bit.

Do you think it's worth maybe just saying something like "Do you want to maybe chat on another app or something as I'd like to get to know you more. It's completely fine if you don't want to though."

As a sort of ice breaker to move to chatting on WhatsApp or something?

Any advice would be great as I've not done much dating especially online. 


Thanks

independent_

If it helps @scottyjones98 I also hadn’t done much (any) dating online before I started dating my current partner (we didn’t meet online though so we’d actually already met but because of distance most of our relationship was online). 

That little ice breaker sounds like a good idea, I think moving from one app to another will feel like a step forward in any relationship. 

After a while, you’ll find that there are things which come up in your day which remind you of your partner, and one of my favourite things is telling my partner about things that happen which remind me of him. They can often be related to your common interests. If you google ice breaker questions, there are bound to be loads online to suit all interests  

Former Member

@scottyjones98 Hello ❤️

I do understand that long distance relationships get hard during these times now so my advice is if you don’t want him to get bored of you is ring him whenever your free/FaceTime have a laugh and a joke.
Also it is very important to tell him how you feel because if you don’t he won’t be able to help you very much.
if you don’t know what to talk about just ask him what do you want to talk about today.
One last thing a good morning and Goodnight text is a good way to keep everything going.
I hope this helped in some way here if you need anything ❤️

Former Member

Some lovely thoughts here already @scottyjones98. One thing that jump to my mind was that if even if you do talk about all of your similar interests now to keep the conversation flowing, you could build such an easy conversational relationship that when you do meet it'll just keep flowing. People date for months / years before they get to know everything about the other person, so I'd be inclined to go with what's natural right now. 

Also, I'm a big fan of having a telephone chat soon and I hear that zoom dates are all the rage! Good luck

Former Member

Thanks @Past User for the advice. We've been talking for like a day and a bit and seem to have gone through each others interests and they seem to be similar. We both like going hiking and travelling but because of the lockdown we can't do that so I don't really know how we can talk about that.

I don't want him to get bored of me and we've flirted a little bit, but how do I say do you want to facetime some time, how long should I leave it until I ask him - a week?

I'm quite a nervous and shy person so find it quite stressful, like what do I ask him if we do talk if we've already chatted about interests and stuff?

Any help would be much appreciated.