My journey at battling depression

awesomeminecraft6789

Hi guys it's been a while so I thought I should tell you all what I've been up to 

Ok so basically, this situation with this girl I mentioned in my previous discussion she's still at my throat believe it or not but I've been trying my best to ignore her my friend told me that that probably isn't the best thing to do but at the minute with the way she's been behaving it feels like it's the right choice right now.

There's another girl who knows Im dealing with serious depression and heartbreak for the past three months and she's been telling me about her problems with my friends and girlfriend which she doesn't know about and I told her the other day can we talk about something else because I was in a bad mood  and then she lashes out on me and tells me I'm done with you and your friends and my gf which is one of them she was talking about and then I decided to leave her alone a bit but she didn't like that and I eventually decided to just end our friendship entirely it killed me to do but it felt like the right thing to do I've been meaning to tell my gf about the not being friends part and the not being friends part but I'm scared shell dump me that's another thing that's stressing me out. 

So that's where I've been trying to work things out with the girls and keep a steady relationship with my girlfriend and even though I haven't really talked to her which isn't good for a relationship I love her just as much she's on here as well and will probably get mad at me for not telling her this probably I don't know but I've been constantly depressed and I really don't wanna talk to her when I'm like this I don't know if you guys agree with me but yeah  and I've been so stressed that I've been contemplating suicide the stress has been getting to me that much and I keep thinking to myself she deserves better I don't deserve her cause I really feel like I don't because she's cooler prettier and more smarter than me and she talks a lot more then I do I've got really bad social anxiety because I've never ever felt loved I've never properly had a relationship I don't even know what to do in a relationship I'm so scared I'm gonna end up single again because I feel like I'm nothing. 

I really really could use your help guys I feel like I'm going to end up doing something to myself because I know I'm not good enough and that she deserves better I feel like I let everybody down I really really could use someone to tell me they love me and a hug or something like that because I've sunk so low that I don't feel like I'm happy anymore I hate myself all the time I always have I keep feeling like I was an accident and was never supposed to be here I really really need your help please 😢😢😢😢😭

Oli123

I'm so sorry I really don't know what to say to help you feel better, other than I'm sending you a big fat hug and please know that everyone is here for a reason and you are loved. You are not an accident, you have meaning, you are special, and you have so many good times are ahead. You seem like an amazing, kind, brilliant person. You are not a waste. I don't know you in person, but I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Without sounding like an internet creep, I do love you, and this community loves you. 

Former Member

I am sorry that you are feeling so low, I think getting negative people out of your life could be a good thing- I know that it is really difficult to do but as you said it felt like the right thing to do. You mentioned that not talking to your girlfriend isn't a great thing to do. Do you feel able to tell her what happened? Please know you are not nothing, you should be so proud that you reached out for support, that is a really difficult thing to do. We are here for you.