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Is something wrong with me?

molmol Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
edited April 2021 in Sex & Relationships
Post edited by Mike on


  • molmol Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
    edited April 2021
    Post edited by Mike on
  • phoebe_phoebe_ Posts: 17 Settling in
    Hi Mol,

    Thank you for sharing - there’s no such thing as TMI here!

    First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you so please don’t worry about that. In fact, it’s not uncommon for women to experience difficulties having an orgasm and a large majority of women need clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Find out more from our Expert Advice piece here: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/why-cant-i-orgasm-through-penetrative-sex-4445.html

    Secondly, sexuality is a spectrum and you absolutely don’t have to label your sexual orientation - as long as you’re comfortable and trust the person you’re with, that’s all that matters. It’s likely you’ll find reaching orgasm easier too, as you can honestly discuss what you like/don’t like together, hopefully easing your nerves and allowing you to relax and enjoy the moment.

    Also, while exploring your sexuality can be a little confusing, it can also be fun. Here is an article with some more info on this that has some other links/organisations to check out if you like: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/are-you-exploring-your-sexuality-switchboard-lgbt-helpline-offer-their-expert-advice-35438.html

    I really hope this is helpful :)

    Thanks again!

  • Mocha97Mocha97 Posts: 1 Literally just got here
    Hi Mol

    I have been feeling the same and finding it quite challenging. I have had sexual relationships with men before and they have been enjoyable but I rarely feel that sexually aroused and am almost unable to orgasm with a guy. I have been trying to explore whether I am asexual or attracted to women but I definitely fancy men so I am a bit confused! I too get nervous having sex with guys now as I don't enjoy it like they do and I feel too self conscious. I did a few self love things (like drawing yourself naked) which helped a bit but I guess it depends on why you don't have more sexual desire with the people you are with?

    Let me know if you find anything that helps! Sending hugs <3
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Keep being you<3 Posts: 1,367 Wise Owl
    @mol I hope everything is going good for you now.
    Message me if you want to talk
    Sending big hugs 🥰
  • molmol Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
    @Mocha97 I’m the same in the sense that I find guys attractive, but I don’t know if I really am attracted TO them anymore. Like over time my attraction to guys has lessened. I realised as a teenager I was very insecure and clung to people that showed me attention, and looking back, all my relationships as a teen were just for the sake of being in a relationship. I was more interested in the idea of being with someone and convincing myself that I actually did like that person even though they treated me like dirt. I still need to work on myself and so a relationship is not something I want for a while, but figuring this stuff out is tricky😕
  • ChristiaanChristiaan Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi Mol
    Perhaps I am not the best person to comment here - perhaps you will think of me as a freak. I don't find having sex that exciting either but I love masturbating with girls and boys. I have done so since I was little and I find it much more exciting that actual sex. I grew up next to a farm and had a lot of freedom there. I would walk around in my underwear or even naked and hump the trees and roll around in the mud and things like that. A few times I convinced a friend (mostly boys but a few girls too) to come with. It is the best experiences I have ever had. Sometimes we masturbated one another but mostly we just did it in front of each other. When I was 12 to 14 years old I had a girlfriend. We became extremely close and spent most of our time together. We could sit and talk for hours and hours. We went and walk around on the farm all the time and masturbated in front of one another and once in a while each other. She liked watching me doing it in all the different ways and also liked humping the trees with me. Especially in my briefs. I loved it when she wore my briefs. Unfortunately they moved away when I was 14. I was heartbroken and became almost anorexic. It took me more than a year to get over her. I am still not really totally okay. We still often talk over the phone. I think I might be going off topic a bit. What I want to say is that sex is overrated in my eyes. I have made much better connections with people through masturbation.
  • ChristiaanChristiaan Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi Mol. I really hope I didn't freak you out with my post. I am really sorry if I did. I know that I can be very weird. Sorry.
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