If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Tips when feeling ignored or insecure?
Former Member
Posts: 177 Helping Hand
I'm always feel being ignored and left out lately, even there are supportive people here, no matter how often I re-read supportive comments or messages and convinced myself that I'm already help someone or being listened to, those feelings will likely back again and I have experience insomia for a few days because of it. Like I woke up every 1-2 hour later because my heart beats so fast and shaking when sleeping while my mind say "no one will worried about me" or just being left out by my friends.
I couldn't help but comparing to someone else how positive and supportive they are than me, even in real life my brain always making the "what if?" scenarios I can't stop it, and I often feel useless and selfish all the time everytime I seek help or writing things here.
I know writing and sharing here helps, just worried that I sharing it too much and no one will support me anymore.
I'm sorry if I posted these kind of posts too much and being too self-centered, and I'm sorry that I can't be positive and supportive enough like the others. You don't have to reply this if you don't want to, I'm just plain stupid because I post too much.
I couldn't help but comparing to someone else how positive and supportive they are than me, even in real life my brain always making the "what if?" scenarios I can't stop it, and I often feel useless and selfish all the time everytime I seek help or writing things here.
I know writing and sharing here helps, just worried that I sharing it too much and no one will support me anymore.
I'm sorry if I posted these kind of posts too much and being too self-centered, and I'm sorry that I can't be positive and supportive enough like the others. You don't have to reply this if you don't want to, I'm just plain stupid because I post too much.
3
Comments
That sounds really tough and it’s something I definitely relate to. I’m sorry you don’t believe me but I promise you are a wonderful caring individual. You always help make me smile.
Something someone suggested to me was writing three positives about yourself before bed. It doesn’t matter how small the positives may seem it could be something as simple as, I keep trying and fighting by reaching out and posting. You’re a wonderful person mocha. It’s important to start showing yourself kindness.
We’re always here for you mocha , you’re an amazing person.
Firstly, that's really good advice. Writing positive things about me sure it's hard, but I'll try to do that and treating kindly to myself starting from tonight!
I haven't been journaling for weeks now, I do had wrote positive things about myself before bed that time, but I'll going to write it again if I can, I hope my passion for journalling comes back.
Besides that, I'm glad that I already made you smile, you really made my day once again.
Thank you for listening to me!
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Everybody deserves to feel so loved and appreciated for who they are...and I really hope that we can help you to feel that way!
Getting back into journalling sounds like a great idea! Maybe to find your passion again, you could look online for some positive journal prompts and start off by just answering the prompts that genuinely interest you and you feel excited to write about. And then over time you might find yourself naturally picking up your journal to reflect on anything and everything!
I love @SpaceOtter's idea of writing three positives too
We will always be here, you are so important to us all! Take good care x
I do feel better now, my heart wasn't beating so fast last night. I still do wake up at the middle of night, but I didn't feel panicky and it isn't bad as before!
@coc0mac That's a great advice too!
I never thought of searching some positive and reflective prompts. I do hope this really gives back my passion for journaling again! I'm sure your advice will helped me a lot from overthinking things, this really makes me want to journalling again!
Again, thank you everyone for listening to me, it really means a lot personally and your advices help me a lot that can bring me ideas and I believe I'll have a good sleep as time goes by!
Have a good day everyone, I hope all goes well today!
I had a good progress until now. I forced myself to journaling writing about self reflect prompts, it really worked at the end. I don't really like that part of me when I suddenly have an urge being angry when someone ignores me or when the other friend talked to my friend bothers me a lot.
I couldn't control my anger at times if no one listened to me at all, sometimes I ended up yelling somebody or isolating myself a lot.
About that, I nearly punched someone else in the face twice in middle school as I couldn't control myself and hold that feeling anymore everytime they interrupted me or being left out. I felt so angry and it hurts a lot when I'm being treated like this, everything is just overwhelming and my mind is keep telling me that I'm a bother and useless until I start crying quietly out of nowhere. I hate that part of myself.
Of course I would still like to read this - we will always be here for you! Apologies that I didn't see this post sooner x
Well done on your positive progress, I'm really proud of you. I can hear that you feel your progress was only good up until a point, and now you are reflecting on your anger and how you don't like that part of yourself. I'm glad you decided to share that here
Anger can feel like a scary emotion, feeling out of control. And the fact that you don't like this part of you just shows what a lovely person you truly are. You are not your anger. Your anger does not define you
The Mix has an article about 'dealing with anger' here. I'm wondering if you might find some helpful tips there?
Take good care - we will always be here to listen!
I definitely agree with coc0mac it’s wonderful to hear you’ve been making some really positive progress. Even if things are rough now you should still be proud of how far you’ve come so far.
We all of faults and sides of us we don’t like very much. Of course it’s important to acknowledge these and learn how to cope with them. But don’t forget to acknowledge your good parts too. Maybe you could make a list of the things you like about yourself too. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.
You’re a wonderful kind person and we’ll always be here for you.
@coc0mac Thank you for reading this, I do have a progress and my anger starts to fade away as I keep doing it!
I agree that anger can be scary most of the time, I couldn't even express my anger properly. To be honest, i don't know. I used to being shut off and downplayed by almost everyone when I'm angry in the past. I haven't meet anyone who tell me to calm myself like take a deep breaths or talk about it. Whatever it is, I usually express my anger in passive-aggresive way and making jokes to my friends that obviously bad and I just laugh on my own.
As I try to do fun self-reflective activites and methods to calm myself. Socializing with my co-workers are great and I'm having fun talking and making jokes with them, It's gets better as time goes on though. Also, that article you gave is really helpful! Thank you for your recommendation Cocomac, I'm sure it helps!
@SpaceOtter Thank you for reading this, I really appreciate it! Writing here helps too and I do feel relief after sharing it
Writing my feelings and tearing the paper apart worked sometimes, even after I tear it apart can be scary for me because of the ripped sound. I'm not kind of person who likes hitting things, I've tried to punch a pillow few times it does feels great and I do like walks too!
I also agree with you, we all make mistakes and there are down sides that we don't like. Coping it can be hard, including mentioning our good sides. Mentioning our bad sides are always easier than our good parts tho, I don't know why but it's common that people do write negative parts about themselves when I was in holiday camping trip for a few times.
Other than that, I'll try my best to improve and surround myself with positive people, thank you again Spaceotter!
We're always here for you and you definitely don't post too much, I'm glad that you are comfortable sharing how you feel here with us.
It's normal to struggle with expressing anger, especially in the moment and if you've often had people downplay how you're feeling or shut you down. It can be devastating to feel that way but it's really inspiring how you're working on methods to calm yourself and self reflective activities. You deserve to be able to express how you're feeling and be met with support and the opportunity to talk through it.
It shows strength to have found outlets that help you, walks and writing how you feel are a great idea. I agree that it's important to acknowledge the good in ourselves even when we make mistakes. You've done amazing surrounding yourself with positive people and being kinder to yourself, you deserve to be heard.
Handling anger can be tough, but thank you for finding me inspiring, I feel like I don't deserve it and I don't really find myself inspiring, but thank you anyway, I really appreciate it personally and so do others!
Still I can't express some of my emotions properly including my anger, and I barely feel them now like I don't know how should I react or feel during that situation. But I'll try my best to express myself more in front of other without worrying too much and be kinder to myself. I also agree that acknowledging something good in ourselves is important too!
Thank you for your kind words Gemma, it does make me feel better now, I hope you have a great day