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Bad body image & the inevitable relapse

It's not looking great on my side and I think I'm in ready to leave the community because I genuinely don't desire to stay recovered and the last thing that I want is to bring it all here.
I can't gain anymore weight,  I feel awful just looking at myself. I feel like such a failure and I shouldn't have allowed myself to get to this point. I can't do it anymore. 

I've experienced a lot of triggers in a short space of time and it's so gotten a bit much. It's everywhere.

There isn't a point to this, just a ramble.

Past UserDandelionAzziman_Tech_Addict_Girl

Comments

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,998 Extreme Poster
    Wish I had the words to make things better. You bring so many people so much joy and I love seeing you around. ❤️

    Sending hugs, we’re here for you ❤️
    Salix_alba_2019
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,293 Wise Owl
    Liam said:
    Wish I had the words to make things better. You bring so many people so much joy and I love seeing you around. ❤️

    Sending hugs, we’re here for you ❤️
    Thank you for your your kind words Liam ❤️
    Past User
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,998 Extreme Poster
    How are you doing now @Salix_alba_2019 ? Did you manage to get any sleep? you posted this quite late <3
    Salix_alba_2019
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,293 Wise Owl
    Heyy I've managed to get some sleep and  navigate my way though the day. It's been very busy so I haven't had much time to stop and think which is good. 

    Thank you again for stopping by I really appreciate it 😉
  • ShaunieShaunie ⛔️NOT USING BOARDS ATM ⛔️ Posts: 12,949 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hugs salix <3 I understand this. It might help to think about why you wanted to recover in the first place. You deserve food and happiness and we are here to supoort you get to a better place <3 it is hard but we can do it together. Massive hugs x
    ⛔️NOT USING BOARDS ATM ⛔️
    Salix_alba_2019
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Sending massive hugs, i know how you feel... remember food is nothing to feel scared about, its fuel, we need it to survive. As Shaunie said think about why you wanted to rcover in the first place. what helped me was thinking about all the things i could do with a recovered body, which i couldnt when i was at a low weight <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Salix_alba_2019
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 892 Part of The Mix Family
    Sending love @Salix_alba_2019 :heart:

    I would love to echo what Shaunie & Bubbles have said. Of course your decision to stay with The Mix is entirely your choice. However, I want you to know that we will always be right here to support you whenever you need us. We care a lot about you, so will always be here with open arms. Take good care :heart:
    Salix_alba_2019
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 6,825 Master Poster
    aww salix, sending massive hugs <3 recovery is really really tough and you've been doing an amazing job so far, things have been overwhelming for you lately haven't they and you deserve to get support for that! Always here if you need a chat or someone to listen <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    Salix_alba_2019
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 933 Part of The Mix Family
    Just going to echo what everyone else has said above. Sending massive hugs and we are here for you whatever you decide 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    Salix_alba_2019
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,077 Wise Owl
    @Salix_alba_2019 sending hugs <3<3
    Salix_alba_2019
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