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Family - they can all f-off (lots of swearing sorry)

Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
Honestly I'm fed up of being treated like I don't belong in my family. 

Nobody gives a shit - my dad's parents never bothered with me - my dad rarely bothered with me. 

I start trying to get in contact with some of my mum's side of the family - that I have met and know - but nope. 

My mum's cousins have kids and I've met a few of them, we got on well when we were younger. 

I thought it would be nice to send Christmas presents to everyone so I contact the parents (my mum's cousins), 3 of them are fine with it. I have actual contact with one of the kids as it is. 

Then I get the Instagram details for a few of them and what do they do? Reject my request. Like honestly go shove a dick up your arse. 

I pm them on Instagram and guess what? No response. Funny. Fucking hilarious. 

Then I pm one of the other of my mum's cousins on Facebook and he'd previously said I'm welcome to visit - but when I ask what his kids like and if I can send Christmas presents he says he doesn't feel comfortable with his girls getting presents from PEOPLE THEY DONT KNOW. Wtf????

God damn I'm honestly fed up of being treated like I don't exist or I'm not part of the family. Wtf did I do?? Oh yeah nothing. 

I'm honestly raging. Like they're the only family I've got and I'm stuck with that shite. 
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Comments

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    I couldn’t agree more with @errrin, it really is their loss Anchor, they’re choosing not to have contact with one of the most wonderful, kind and caring people. It’s really hard, makes you feel so unwanted yourself but really it’s important to remember that there’s lots of people who care about you and are very grateful to know you. Including everyone on here <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Honestly I just thought I was doing a nice thing. My grandparents usually send gifts to the one who won't let me send gifts - how sad that they aren't sending any to them anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

    I am feeling a bit better about it today, but it still hurts. It was just exceedingly raw when I wrote this. 

    I honestly just feel so unwanted. My dad's side of the family wanted nothing to do with me for so long. I thought my mum's side was different. I always go and see one of my mum's cousins - turns out the nice cousins come from one of my grandad's sister (who was nice) and the dicks come from my grandad's not nice sister. Huh funny 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Nice to have a good rant about it. Guess it's good to know where I stand with everyone. 

    I appreciate all of you guys on here, I really do. It does just hurt so bad. Like idk why I deserve both sides of the family to want nothing to do with me. Ugh I've never done anything to any of them
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  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Of course it hurts, it’s ok to feel hurt and upset about it.  It’s only natural because you’d think your family would jump at the chance to get to know you. I think your christmas gift idea was really lovely and shows how kind you are, them not accepting that kindness is bound to make you feel like shit.

    It’s always ok to rant here and get things like this off your chest <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    My uncle who I'm close with (mum's brother) pretty much defended the arsehole saying there could've been a reason for it. 

    I mean no, it's undefendable. Idek why he tried to defend him. He tried to say he's a decent bloke. Aye I don't think so. 

    Even my gran said they're spoilt brats (her literal words). 

    So yes, she told me not to bother with them. 

    Even my cousins on my dad's side are talking to me. Like that's something. 

    Gonna be very awkward when I have to go to a family gathering/funeral or whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    I'm so sorry that they're treating you so poorly. You don't deserve that, especially as you're just trying to do a nice thing. 

    It's their loss, pal. You have some really great people in your life right now, try not to let the distant family members get you down.

    Family gatherings shouldn't be awkward for you... you were the nice person in all of this. 
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Thanks Liam, it's so shit they didn't even thank me. I mean he said not at this time but like his tone that came across just was so so rude - almost like a fuck off. 

    You're right, things are looking up. I gues I just got too hopeful while thinking of having a relationship with my distant relatives. I guess because I have a relationship with the 2nd cousins that I have it made me think it was possible. 

    LOL I even asked Matt to remove them from my family tree. 

    Yeah I agree, it shouldn't be awkward, but I doubt I'll have the courage to be anything other than awkward LOL RIP ME
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Some people are just rude and tbf, although its still gonna feel like a sucker punch... it's best that we don't have those people in our lives anyway whether they're family or not.

    The situation sucks and he sucks for being so damn rude. He could've let you down gently but he chose not to, that's on him.

    It's good that you're keen but it's sad that it didn't work out.

    I'm sorry :( 

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    BUUUUT we <3 you and think that you're fab and amazing and we want you to feel haaaappppyyy. We're always here for you and it's great that you've been able to have a big ol' rant, i hope it helped, even just a wee bit.
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I am so sorry about this @Anch0r33
    You really deserve a nice caring family I have had some experience with what you have just said too with my dad's side of the family,
    They stopped talking to me from when I was about 13 I havent really spoken to them for years now so I know that feeling  <3
    You are not alone in this 
    Sending big hugs <3<3
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Thank you everyone, it's honestly so appreciated. 

    I love you all ❤️
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