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Guilt

Former MemberFormer Member Keep being you<3Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
  :/  Today I am filled with guilt and dread and everything that is wrong. I can't sleep. The only thing I'm able to do is to lay in bed, unable to move whilst my brain conjures the memories.. I relive my mistakes today I relive my mistakes yesterday I tell my brain to stop and to think of other things It does But now I'm thinking why didn't I say things differently do things differently think so differently Why can't I be normal? I like to think I'm kind My brain tells me I'm mean I like to think I'm selfless My brain tells me I'm selfish I like to think I'm good My brain tells me I'm bad So I say sorry. I say sorry a lot. I say sorry for being in someone's way I say sorry when I forget I say sorry when things go wrong I mean it when I say it But no one believes me They tell me to stop But I cant It's not that easy So I say sorry again Why can't I stop? Because I feel bad The ground swallows me up And I can't stop my heart from beating faster I can't breathe now Because I did something wrong, I said something wrong Was it last year I said that? Was it last week I did that? I can't take that back now Can I? I did say sorry didn't I? What can I do to change that? Nothing?! Okay, I'll just relive it another time

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    Sending big hugs <3 sounds like you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed tonight. I’m sorry to hear things are difficult for you right now. 

    I think it’s important to remember that we all make mistakes, we all get things wrong and say things we maybe shouldn’t. All we can do is learn from them and use those mistakes and wrong doings to make ourselves better people. I too tend to dwell on mistakes and what I did wrong and what I said wrong but it’s important to think to yourself if you did something seriously wrong “what can I learn from this”? 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Keep being you<3 Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    Thankyou  @independent_ <3
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Keep being you<3 Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    @errrin Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me I hope your ok❤️
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    Just thought I'd drop in and see how you are doing this morning @Emoji246, I know you mentioned that you weren't able to get to sleep. Did you manage to get some rest eventually? How are you feeling today? :smile:

    It sounded like you were feeling a bit overwhelmed last night and anxious last night which makes it difficult to fall asleep! I don't know if it'll work for you, but when I am trying to sleep and my mind is racing with thoughts listening to music/a podcast/video usually helps distract me. If not, sometimes I'll get up out of bed and focus on something else till I feel a little calmer.  I really like @errrin advice of writing thoughts down and then doing something to distract yourself.

    I'd also echo what @independent_ said, we all make mistakes and get things wrong but the most important thing is that we learn from those mistakes. At the end of the day, that's all we can do.
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