My sister is making my life miserable

Former Member

Hi, my name is Cleo and i'm 20 years old. 

I don't know what i'm looking for posting here, I think that i just need a vent but I don't have anyone else who I can talk to about it all because my parents would get too involved and my friends just wouldn't understand.

Up until 10 months ago, My boyfriend and I lived together, however after having a conversation about commitments, we decided that neither of us felt happy enough in the relationship to be able to settle. We hadn't cheated on one another, we just weren't 'in love' and so had decided we called it quits. 

At this time, my sister had gone through a break up too. She is 31 years old, so much older than I but we are very close. We supported each other through our break ups and both moved back home with our parents. She quickly found a new partner and started renting a property. 

I wanted to be some what more independent so i decided to buy a car, I have already passed my test but i haven't driven since passing. The day i buy my car (second hand and rather cheap at £900) my sister tells me that hers has broken down and she can't get to work. I'm a sucker sometimes but i gave her my car, before i was even able to sit in it! I had already signed for the car and it was now in my name. My sister pays for insurance and road tax and that's it, she's off. Fast forward to now, she hadn't changed the name over to hers, she was caught speeding and now because the car is in my name, I'm having to go to court in January and risk getting points on my license that i've never even used. My sister is offering to go to court with me but i'm still unhappy about what happened.

I'm not actively searching for a relationship. I wanted to be single and living alone and so i am now renting a 1 bed room ground floor apartment. It is beautiful and I love being here. I have a minimalistic taste and i like things to be neat. My sister calls, she's split up with her boyfriend and has no where to go.  I tell her to come here, she can stay with me. We had a chat and i told her it could be rent free, expecting her to find herself a home whilst living with me. She told me yesterday that she is saving for a deposit to buy a house but first she wants to buy a brand new car *sigh*. This is going to take AGES! She came with all of her stuff, she has loads. Her clothes are all over my bed room floor, her furniture is everywhere. She is quite the opposite of minimalistic. My bed room is big, i told her that she can stay but she must buy herself a single bed for the bed room and another wardrobe for her clothes. She said ok

It has been 3 weeks, she hasn't looked for a bed, she has been out on Tinder dates despite us being in a local lock down. My flat is looking a mess. She hasn't helped clean, she constantly wants the heating on, she never cooks, she brings men back to the flat, she HATES. my cat and now  she's using my makeup and wearing my clothes without asking.

I love her and I want her to stay but she is so selfish and she has taken over my new home. Yesterday she came home from work, i had made her dinner because we had planned a movie and face mask night. she didnt tell me that she was going out and she said oh, sorry i'm going on a last minute date. So she was running up and down the flat rushing to get ready and ended up stepping on my cat. My cat scratched her for this and now she's telling me that that 'thing' needs to go.

I'm so fed up of her already. I don't know how to tell her that things need to change if she lives here.

I'm sorry that this is so long i just needed to vent it out.

Former Member

Hey there @Past User no worries about needing to vent that's part of what the boards are for after all, everyone needs to get things off their chest sometimes. It sounds like you're stuck in a really stressful situation and it's understandable why you would be feeling fed up, especially since it seems to all be caused by your sister. Sibling relationships can be troublesome when you're an adult because you've spent so much time together over the years but that doesn't mean you're going to be anything alike!

Have you tried talking with your sister before about how she's acting and how it effects you? I think firmly setting up ground rules and boundaries is a big part of living with anyone but ESPECIALLY a family member. You might find it helpful to just take some time to really communicate with her what she's doing and why it bothers you, hopefully she'll understand and change her behaviour.

Either way I hope getting some things off your chest has helped a little, you can always feel free to drop onto the boards and talk about what you're dealing with.