Relationship

Former Member

So I’ve been debating to come on here and share how I’m feeling about my relationship as I don’t really want people knowing my business but it’s starting to become a weight on my shoulder that I can’t seem to shrug off. 

I’ve been with my partner over a year and at the start everything was perfect, all the right feels and emotions however it’s came to just over a year and I’m starting to feel different towards him, it’s not that I don’t love him because I love him a lot I just feel at this current time where I am with my life and where he is with his life we are in two completely different stages of our lives and sometimes that’s not a bad thing I know but it’s been over 4 years and I struggle with really bad depression and it’s taken me this long to get out of the house and start doing something with my life, I’m currently a student (or was until COVID hit) and unemployed, my partner on the other hand has a stable job, he drives and is very much independent which I soon hope I can be too. He’s always had things easy which he even admits and I feel sometimes he doesn’t understand why I struggle, I know he try’s too and I appreciate that but he will never understand because he’s never gone through something traumatic. I don’t feel ready in my life to carry things on becuse I feel we are in two different stages of our lives and I always feel I’m having to catch up to him. I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like this because I still love him and he hasn’t done anything spiteful for me to feel the way I do, it’s just me. 

Former Member

Hi @DylanJames, really glad you felt comfortable reaching out here to discuss this.

From what you have said it sounds like you feel that you and your partner are at two different stages of your life, and that you sometimes feel left behind. On top of that, if I am right, it sounds like you want to break things off with him even though you feel he hasn't done anything wrong?

I can understand that you feel guilty about this, but ultimately whether the relationship continues is solely up to you. The one thing I would say is that there is no need to feel guilty about wanting to end things. We can want to end a relationship even though our partner has done nothing wrong. People end relationships because their partner has different life goals, they have just drifted apart, or the person needs time to focus on themselves.

You don't need a huge dramatic reason to want to end a relationship, you just need to feel the need to want to it. 

You mentioned that you don't feel ready to carry things on because you have to play catch up, is there any reason you feel this way? Do you think this is something you and your partner could work through together?