Depression

Former Member

Hi there, 

this might seem random but I’m struggling quite a bit recently and I can’t seem to get the negative thoughts out of my head. When I’ve spoken to family or ‘friends’ they all just disregard my feelings and tell me to get on with life. 

Today I met up with a friend who I’ve not seen in 2 years and it was lovely catching up with her, we spoke about ourselves and how we’re getting on but of course I said I’m doing great because I didn’t want to come across that I’m depressed and I didn’t want to bring her down as she’s doing amazing with everything, I’m so happy for her and how well she’s getting on, she’s came so far however it just gets me so depressed seeing her do so well and I feel guilty. I’m in such a dark place and I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. I’ve been like this for 4 years and It doesn’t seem to go away. 

independent_

Hi there,

This is something I can really understand as I too struggle with depression. I can relate to a lot of what you say here, you are definitely not alone in feeling this way.

Have you had any professional support, like from your GP or a counsellor? I recently saw my GP about depression and anxiety and it’s not as scary as it sounds, so that might be something worth considering if you haven’t already.

I understand the feeling that you don’t want to bring friends down when they’re happy. I’m the same, and there’s some people I just don’t ever tell because they look so happy. But I think sometimes it’s important to remember that not everything is always as it seems. Those happy people may have things they’re dealing with too, that they also feel would bring others down. 

I hate when people dismiss my feelings, I’ve been there as well. I’ve actually had to explain it to a couple of people, that saying “stop being negative” and “it’ll get better after x has happened” is not helpful and can actually make things feel a lot worse. 

It might also be useful for you to know that the mix run nightly group chats. There’s a support chat where you can get help with how your feeling, and a general chat which I really like as a fun distraction. 

Former Member

@independent_
 thank you for kind words. 

I have spoken to my GP, long ago, I got given antidepressants however they made me feel really numb and I didn’t like being on them at all, I’ve also done counselling for about 6 months which I left due to the counselling not being very good however I’m going to give it ago again but with someone else. I feel like I’m doing all this for nothing, nothing seems to be working. I’ve tried to change my lifestyle by eating a lot more healthier and taking vitamins as I’m training to become a personal trainer (how ironic lol) in the hope that I feel better but nothing is working. 

I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for just over a year but I don’t think he really understand and I find that hard. I’m really struggling and I just want someone who can make this all go away.

independent_

I’m glad you’ve been able to seek support. I understand that re antidepressants, not everyone gets along with them at all and for a lot of people it takes trying a few before you get one that works. 

Finding a different counsellor sounds like a good idea. Not everyone will click with the first person they see, and because honesty and trust are so important in therapy, the right person is key. 

I do relate to the feeling that nothing is working it feels like you’re trying for nothing, but really you aren’t. There will be something out there that makes you feel better one day. 

As for your boyfriend, do you talk to him regularly about how you’re really feeling and communicate with him how bad things really are for you? It took me a long time to get my partner to understand what I was going through, for a while he said things similar to what the really dismissive people say. But now after me speaking to him he’s great and really supportive. 

I hope you find something that works soon  

Former Member

@independent_

This whole depression thing seems to have been going on for too long. It’s been 4 years and I don’t see myself getting better anytime soon. 

I talk to him a lot about how I feel to the point where I’ve given up because I will say how I’m feeling and he will just go quiet and I’m sure he just doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and upset me anymore but it doesn’t help me. I know not everyone will understand depression and i can imagine it’s hard for him especially as he hasn’t ever been through anything like it, he has even said he’s had life easy. I don’t think I can do this alone anymore. I don’t have anyone I can talk too, I only speak to my boyfriend and on the very odd occasion like today I will meet a “friend” who I’ve not seen in 2 years and we probably won’t stay in touch until another 2 years again. I try my best in keeping contact but I understand people have their own lives and own struggles to deal with I just wish I had someone there for me. 

independent_

I totally understand that @DylanJames it must feel really horrible to feel like no one is there to support you. It’s a very lonely place to be in. That’s where I found online communities like this one particularly helpful, I knew that even if my family, friends, etc weren’t going to be supportive and I was having an awful time of it I could post on here the boards, speak about it in chat, or on other forums and people would at least be kind and supportive. 

It does feel like it’s never ending sometimes and has gone on for way too long, I hear you on that. And I find that sometimes if I speak to someone (online or otherwise) I don’t always want advice, just someone who understands how I feel and will listen to me. 

Ah no that’s not great about your boyfriend then. I think a lot of people have that worry that they’ll make it worse because they don’t understand it, I suspect a lot of people think that you’re looking for advice when you’re perhaps not looking for that at all. Sometimes all you need is for someone to give you a big hug and tell you they’re there for you.

Is there anything (no matter how small) that you enjoy doing or anything you find helps you to feel even a little bit better? 

Former Member

@independent_

honestly, thank you for reaching out to me,
really appreciate it! I just don’t think anything is going to help anymore I’m sorry you have to listen to me rant on. I hope you’re okay and you’re in a healthy state of mind! 

independent_

@DylanJames honestly it’s not a problem at all. I understand that feeling that nothing will help. I’m kinda in that place too at the moment, everything is either a very short term solution or doesn’t really help at all. Sometimes a good rant about it can feel nice though. 

Former Member

@independent_

i’m here if there’s anything you ever want to get off your chest too 🥰😇