Feelings of being used

Former Member

Hi guys, im so sorry, im really not attention-seeking, im just really struggling

the thing i told my ex before we were together was 'im very aware that youre going to graduate uni in 2 years and ive got 4 more to go, so im really not looking for just a 2 year relationship''

and i used to raise these concerns throughout the relationship and he used to gaslight me whenever i raised concerns saying ''i feel like youre just going to break up with me after you graduate'' and he used to act out and start saying ''youve turned me into a villian in your head, youve turned me into a bad guy'' and its literally what happened...

he broke up with me so easily after 2 years, literally with 4 sentences saying that i was being toxic and belittling and attacking and counsellors have reassured me that he was just projecting his guilt of hiding and lying to me in the relationship onto me.

but i literally just feel so incredibly used... and I'm just having a breakdown.

the thing i told him the thing i was most scared of him doing (just leaving as soon as he graduated) is the thing he did.. and I'm just so hurt. and feel so used and just feel so so disgusting with myself.. in my own skin.. just feel so stupid

like its not fair that people can manipulate you like that for their own use and just drop you as soon as you're not as easily accessible anymore and i just hurt so bad.

I'm so sorry if I'm bothering you, I'm just really struggling

Former Member

Hey @Past User !!

No need to apologise! The Mix is where you can express how you're feeling
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this! It's a shame that some people don't seem to care about anyone else but themselves!

I agree with what your counsellor has said. You made it clear how you felt about something and he still hurt your feelings. 

Please don't let another person's bad actions influence your self-image. You are not stupid. Your are not any of those negative things you have said about yourself. He took advantage of you. Maybe to help you move on from this, you could set little self-care challenges. You could pamper yourself etc. and treat yourself like a good person because you are a good person!

I hope this helps!

Former Member

Sending you hugs @Past User 

I am so so sorry this has happened to you. It's great that you have your counsellor to talk to and it sounds like they're right. Please remember this is not your fault.

Have you got friends and family around you to support you? I think @Tee A idea of self-care challenges is a lovely one. You deserve to look after yourself and give yourself some love.