Feel so Guilty

Former Member

Hi,

I done something extremely stupid when I was 18 several years ago. When I felt lonely and depressed I went on Omegle and met some girls who were young. Was wanting to meet girls my age, but they were rare so I was desperate. As far as I can remember the youngest age 16, hopefully not 15 year olds! I 'sexted' with 1/2 of them on kik but no pics or videos whatsoever were involved (nor any requests), just words. Very worried about this, have been loosing sleep. I was so ignorant of the laws back than. Can't shake the feeling of my head that I'm a paedo, child abuser, monster and groomer even though I don't like kids! Maybe it's a form of OCD, I don't know. If I could go back time, I would right the wrong. 

Former Member

Hey welcome to the mix

Your mentioning of OCD is good as it takes on many forms all generally have intrusive thoughts and there are forms where people worry they are a murderer, homosexual, you name it! This can be one of them so you may want to reach out and get support for it along with read up on it as it sounds very tricky to deal with alone!

You can't go back to the past unfortunately,
I'm sure many of us wish we could. But you can acknowledge it and move on and better yourself.

I think calling yourself a monster is a bit harsh it was a weak moment but think of the bigger picture have you done it since? You are obviously very remorseful by the sounds of it which is good it means you acknowledge and feel bad about it maybe? 

Be kind to yourself x 

Former Member

Hi @Past User

I'm glad you have come on here for some advice! 

From what you have said, I am assuming that the girls told you they were 16 years old. It was through Omegle so you would have taken their word for it. I am assuming you never met them? Only sexted with one of them? If you were 18 and the other girl was 16 and you both consented to have sexual conversations, then there was/is nothing to worry about! If you genuinely thought the girl was 16 then you're not a "monster" or any of those horrible names. 

However, I know people do lie online. Especially through Omgele. I think this would become a legal conversation only if charges had been made against you. 

These are some heavy thoughts to keep on you mind! I hope coming on the Mix helped, even if a little

Stay safe

Former Member

Thank you both for the responses! Really helped me put things into perspective. It's a relief that thankfully I didn't anything illegal and that I'm just over thinking things. Appreciate it!

JustV

Some really good points being made here.

I'd also say that words like 'child abuser' or 'paedophile' have very specific and heavily weighted meanings, neither of which would apply to you here. Age of consent laws (which, as @TeeA said, it doesn't sound you broke, although there may be a technicality around sexting being connected to pornography laws) are there to protect younger people from being taken advantage of by older people; not to prosecute two people of a close age for having consensual fun. There's a big difference between an 18 and 16 year old sexting and a 30 and 15 year old doing the same thing, and they tend to be viewed very differently in legal cases.

I agree with @Past User that it sounds best to acknowledge it and learn from it. You've clearly been reflecting, and the fact you went to the effort of posting here means you're healthily aware of your own actions and the importance of consent, which is a good thing. Go easy on yourself @Past User.

Former Member

Thanks for that! Had spoken to some 15 year olds before on omegle but couldn't precisely remember what age I was back then which really worried me. Hated the uncertainty. Relieved though that after I trawled through all the info I had, I had only spoken to 16+. Glad to say my anxiety has greatly reduced! 
Thank you all for the help and support! Has really helped me feel better.
@Past User @Tee A @Mike