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Mythbusters - Consent !

Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
Hey Everyone ! :smiley:

Trigger Warning - Sexual Assault

Why consent is not enough

I thought I'd just throw some facts at you all about consent. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding consent. I think it's a good idea to bust these myths about consent! You may even be surprised. 

These are just some statements I have heard in my life: 

"you can't sexually assault your husband / wife. We're married so that is basically consent for life"
Yes, you can sexually assault your partner. Any form of sexual touching without the other person's consent is sexual assault. Against any person. It will always be sexual assault if there is no consent. I say "form of sexual touching" because it doesn't have to be done by the perpetrators hand. An object could be used.
E.g.: your boss touches you inappropriately with a pen at work.

"they're clearly turned on so that's consent"
Physical reactions in the body do not equate to consentA man could have an erection but if he did not give verbal consent, i.e. a clear invitation to engage in sexual activity, and the perpetrator began to engage in any form of sexual activity anyway, they would have sexually assaulted the man. The same goes for women. Vaginal fluids do not mean consent is given. An invitation does.

"we kissed so sex is defo coming next!"
No. There must be consent before the sexual act. Two people can kiss each other. That does not mean they have to have sex or that sex should be expected. If there is no consent to engage in sex, then no-one is having sex.   

I have attached the NHS website which is very detailed and has lots of contact details if you'd like to reach out to service provider. 

Has anyone else heard any other incorrect statements surrounding consent?
I think it would be good if we challenge our family or friends etc. if they believe some of these myths. So many people don't know truth from fact which has/can lead to victim blaming. 

Stay safe yall  :3


  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    A big one I think is "but they were down for oral"
    Consent for one sexual act doesn't mean consent for all if you both agree to fool around you still must get consent if you want to go past it and move onto a new thing that wasn't discussed :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

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    independent_Tee AchubbydumplingJustV
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Aidan said:
    "but they said in school I could have sex with someone under 16 as long as I'm under 16"
    I really don’t think schools should be encouraging under age sex 😟 

    LainePast Userindependent_
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,412 Legendary Poster
    It was the same at my school @Aidan, I know so many under 16s who believed it and had sex when they were about 14. I’m glad I didn’t listen to that honestly and waited till I was 16.. It was almost as if the school encouraged it. And I agree with @Liam that a school shouldn’t really encourage that at all. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    Past User
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Great thread @Tee A! Clearing up misconceptions about consent is super important and a conversation everyone should be having. 

    One misconception that I've come across is that consent is simply not saying "no", when actually the opposite is closer to the truth: Only a clear and enthusiastic "yes" means that consent has explicitly been given.
    Tee A
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