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Simple ways to support others✨
Former Member
Fruit loopDeactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
Supporting people can be tricky it's no lie you want to say the right things but maybe you can't think of it! There are simple ways you can reply to people or just let them know you care. 
(I'll put each part in a spoiler so it's not a wall of text, feel free to share your tips!)
- Showing empathy.
Sometimes we can't think of any advice to give and that's okay a simple message to say you're listening is okay too.
Active listening is a good thing to demonstrate.
Another way of active listening is through Asking questions to get more information.
(I'll put each part in a spoiler so it's not a wall of text, feel free to share your tips!)
- Showing empathy.
We can't solve everyone's problems no matter how much we wished we could, but showing empathy can help people feel less alone.
What is it? It's simply putting yourself in their shoes and imagining how they're feeling.
How would I show this?
You may say things like "I would feel the same way if I was in your position" or "That would upset me too!" "No wonder you're frustrated"
What is it? It's simply putting yourself in their shoes and imagining how they're feeling.
How would I show this?
You may say things like "I would feel the same way if I was in your position" or "That would upset me too!" "No wonder you're frustrated"
Sometimes we can't think of any advice to give and that's okay a simple message to say you're listening is okay too.
Active listening is a good thing to demonstrate.
With the lack of visuals and physical body language online, we have to rely even more on our words to ensure people know we are listening.
What is it? Essentially a way to show you are listening.
How would I show this? Several ways, one way is to show you have listened to what they have said by repeating. Not the whole phrase word for word, but a bit for example.
If someone says they have had an argument with their parents because they never let them go out with friends, you can say "You said you had an argument with them, how are you feeling after that?" Or
"It's hard when we have arguments with parents, have you spoken about it since?"
What is it? Essentially a way to show you are listening.
How would I show this? Several ways, one way is to show you have listened to what they have said by repeating. Not the whole phrase word for word, but a bit for example.
If someone says they have had an argument with their parents because they never let them go out with friends, you can say "You said you had an argument with them, how are you feeling after that?" Or
"It's hard when we have arguments with parents, have you spoken about it since?"
Another way of active listening is through Asking questions to get more information.
Open ended questions are great as it allows them time to reflect and give a detailed answer.
What is it? Open ended questions are ones that cannot be answered with a yes or no.
How would I do this?
My earlier demonstration on repeating is a good example for this, The thing with asking questions like "have you spoken to them about it since?" Is it leaves it open for a simple answer like "no" and it may leave you a bit lost on what to ask next, (these questions aren't wrong and can still be helpful, from there you can still ask whether they want to, etc it's just that it may be harder for you if you're unsure) "How are you feeling after that?" Is more open ended and allows them to think about their feelings and give more detailed answers like "really upset, it's like they don't trust me" From there you can ask more questions and offer some empathy.
What is it? Open ended questions are ones that cannot be answered with a yes or no.
How would I do this?
My earlier demonstration on repeating is a good example for this, The thing with asking questions like "have you spoken to them about it since?" Is it leaves it open for a simple answer like "no" and it may leave you a bit lost on what to ask next, (these questions aren't wrong and can still be helpful, from there you can still ask whether they want to, etc it's just that it may be harder for you if you're unsure) "How are you feeling after that?" Is more open ended and allows them to think about their feelings and give more detailed answers like "really upset, it's like they don't trust me" From there you can ask more questions and offer some empathy.
Providing feedback. Can help gain more understanding
What is it? Reflecting on what's been said and ensure you understand it.
How do I do that? Reflection through paraphrasing such as "What I'm hearing is, it really upset you when she said that" or "it sounds like you're saying, you didn't feel appreciated when she said that" Asking questions to clarify certain points is not bad, and can help.
How do I do this? "What do you mean when you say, this" or "is this what you mean?"
How do I do that? Reflection through paraphrasing such as "What I'm hearing is, it really upset you when she said that" or "it sounds like you're saying, you didn't feel appreciated when she said that" Asking questions to clarify certain points is not bad, and can help.
How do I do this? "What do you mean when you say, this" or "is this what you mean?"
Lastly, a judgement free mentality! Treat the person how you would like to be treated. And remember you matter! If you need to step away, take a break or get support of your own go ahead! You're just as important as everyone here x
You've made it! Here's a self care doggo
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Comments
I'd also say that if you have experience with the thing someone is going through don't be afraid to tell them you've been through it too or you know how they feel because that can help too when people feel alone
Also to remember.
If someone confides in you it is because they are really struggling, and everyone struggles with a range of different things. It may seem minor to you but it is big to them it's their biggest thing on their mind ❤️
Likewise you may deem something really really bad when they don't. It's just about listening to them
Yeah i'd say just being there and listening is a great thing. But also things like yep showing empathy and all