How to celebrate good grades without upsetting friends

Former Member

I recently finished my second year of university and I'm really really proud to have finished the year with really good grades despite corona disruption! But I really struggle to celebrate them with my friends because they haven't done as well as me and I feel bad telling them my scores because they get really bummed about it. 

It doesn't really upset me that much this year, but in my third and final year, I'd really like to be able to celebrate with them if I do well without feeling bad. Any tips or advice on this? Has anyone experienced something similar? 

Thanks in advance  

Former Member

This is a really tricky situation @Past User I can understand why you wanted some advice about it! I'll try and give some advice as best I can but it'll only be suggestions since I can't really know the best thing to do unfortunately.

I think it's pretty common for people to get competetive with exam results I know I certainly did when I was still in school. Unfortunately there's always gonna be differences in how well you do like you said, but I don't think it's fair that you should have to hide how you did or avoid celebrating. Even if it initially upsets them hopefully your friends will be happy for you for doing so well and want to celebrate your accomplishments too!

It's also important to remember that any positive result, especially with how hectic this year has been, is cause for celebration. You might find it helpful to make a really big deal of how well your friends have done even if they haven't done as well as you. You could try and keep the atmosphere as positive as possible, really praising your friends for what they've achieved, and hopefully this will help them feel the same way for you and your achievements.

I hope I've given you a few ideas of what to do and like I said these are just suggestions. Be sure to let us know how you get on with it all.

JustV

Adding to what @Riley said above: I wonder if it's worth thinking about whose responsibility this is?

It's noble and considerate to want to protect your friends from feeling bummed out, but I'm thinking if they feel bummed out by that it's probably more their concern than yours. And I don't mean that in a cold way; more that empathetic people often go above and beyond to protect others, sometimes to the detriment of what they want and themselves. It can be quite liberating to free ourselves of some of that, and it can be healthier and fairer for others if we trust them to manage their own feelings.

If you were waving your grades in their face, that would be a different story.   

Congrats on the grades, by the way!     

Former Member

@Riley thank you for advice! I always let my friends go first with grades and make sure I celebrate with them, I do think they're happy for me eventually but initially it's just awkward  thank you 

@Mike thank you, what you said is definitely me. Hopefully next year I'll get a bit better at it!!