Anxiety about work

Former Member

I moved back home just before lockdown as my uni and work has shut. Before lockdown I really struggled to go into work I would have panic attacks that would make me physically sick before my shift and would feel so nervous if I went into work. After being furloughed for a couple of months we’ve received an email today saying that on the 13th June I need to go back to work. This means moving back to uni where I will be away from my family and living by myself. I’m so terrified, I haven’t really been around people since before lockdown and moving back means I’ll have to go and do my own shopping as well as obviously going back to work (in retail) where I will be around people. The company I work for has assured us of all the safety measures Theyre taking and I am slightly reassured by it as it seems to be well thought out. However I’m still so scared that I’ll end up having panic attacks again and I don’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone particularly at this time when everyone else is so stressed about Covid. Even now when I think about my chest gets so tight and I feel so nervous even though we still have a week and a bit to go. I’ve already tried to request a transfer back home but unfortunately they said at the minute they’re not allowing anyone to transfer, which I understand.

Thank you for reading my rant lol I just need some advice really on how to cope with this as I feel like I can’t really talk to my family about it.

Former Member

Hi @Dandelion

Sending you hugs - this sounds like a really difficult situation for you. Have you told your manager or colleagues how you're feeling about this? You might find that there are other people that are feeling the same way as you about going back to work and your manager might be able to sort out some extra precautions. 

Maybe you could also have a think about what you think would make you feel better and suggest it to them too?

The Conversation have an article here about dealing with anxiety when going back to work:
https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-how-to-beat-anxiety-when-going-back-to-work-138550

AnxietyUK run helplines, email support, live chats and therapy services for people with anxiety disorders. 08444 775 774
They have a whole page about coronanxiety here: https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/coronanxiety-support-resources/
But you might just want to talk to them in general as it sounds like you had a few difficulties with panic attacks and things before lockdown.

Hope some of this helps!

Former Member

Hi @Dandelion I thought I would check in and see how you are feeling?

@Past User has provided some excellent resources around anxiety related to coronavirus - thanks so much! 

I just wanted to add that your mental health is never an inconvenience to other people, including your employer - it takes courage to admit you’re not okay and to talk about what’s going on inside your head, especially during these difficult times, and may resonate with others. It’s better to openly admit you’re not doing well than it is to let your emotions build up until it becomes too overwhelming. Just because you have panic attacks sometimes doesn’t mean you’re not a strong person. It makes you stronger because you’re accepting what’s going on in your life and you’re facing your fears of openly talking about it.

Please do keep us updated with how you get on - remember we are all here for you

Former Member

Thank you @Past User and @Past User . Thanks for the information Han that’s really useful. 

My manager does kind of know how I feel as even before lockdown my anxiety was affecting me at work and I ended missing quite a few shifts. I’m just worried that she’ll have either forgotten or got way too much to worry about at the minute with getting the store ready to reopen and I think speaking to her about how I feel at the minute might just make me feel more anxious as I don’t really like speaking to people at the best of times. 

I’ve heard that some of my friends are going back so hopefully that will help a bit. I think I’ll just have to wait and see how it goes and hope that it’s okay. They have also recently said that they will be providing PPE or we can wear our own which makes me feel a bit better as I get kind of worried that I’ve got it and I’m going to pass it on (even though I don’t have any symptoms or anything), they seem pretty prepared for it but as it’s a busy store I think it could get quite busy again. I’ll just have to wait to find out I guess lol. 

independent_

Hi there @Dandelion,

I can relate with you re anxiety and panic, it's really important that you know that you're not alone in feeling the way that you do.

Has your manager been supportive with your anxiety in the past? I ask this as if she's been supportive towards you in the past there's a good chance that if you tell her, she'll react well again and try her best to help you.

I do really hope everything goes well, this is such an uncertain time.

Former Member

@independent_ she has been but I’ve only really spoken to her about it and most of the time she doesn’t work the same shifts as me. I don’t really want to speak to anyone else about it though. 

Former Member

Hi @Dandelion

It's good to hear that your manager is supportive and understanding, and that they are taking all the relevant precautions

It's okay to not want to speak to other people about it, anxiety can be a difficult thing to speak about However, perhaps you can take some comfort just knowing that your manager is aware of this. If you did panic, you could always contact her for support or speak to her afterwards to reflect, if she is not on shift. As your employer, your well-being will be in her very best interests - so whatever happens, she should have your back

And as you say, hopefully having some of your friends going back with you will help! It would be great to hear how it goes - I hope It goes well for you 

Former Member

My manager rang me earlier today and said that she can put in a transfer for me to come back to the store in my home town. This is good, but I don’t know how long the transfer will take to go through so I’ll have to return to my uni town for the time being. 

I’m so confused on what to do now, I wanted to stay at home, but after hearing I had to go back I got myself prepared for it, I’ve done a food shop that will last me a while and everything like that. My family all want me to transfer and stay at home, but now I’m so confused on what to do. My manager said I need to decide before the weekend and she’ll give me a call back tomorrow. 

Former Member

Hi @Dandelion
I'm glad to hear that your manager is supporting you and giving you the option about transferring you to a store nearer to your home town. 

It's understandable being confused now about where you want to be especially if you've got yourself mentally prepared for going back to your uni town. Sometimes it helps to consider where you feel you would have some support, especially if you're feeling anxious. 

Former Member

Thanks @Gemma I spoke to my sister about it and we worked out a plan on what we were going to do so I feel better about it now 

Former Member

They’ve now said that they’ll put me back on furlough till they can get a transfer. They told me this after I’d moved back to uni. This is making me so anxious, they keep changing everything and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore

Former Member

Hi @Dandelion

I understand feeling anxious when things keep changing - I feel that too Have you spoken to your sister about the latest updates? As it's good to hear that you were able to make a plan that made you feel better before, so perhaps another little action plan could be good to have a chat about 

How are you feeling about things today?

Former Member

@coc0mac I have spoken to my sister about it. She came and picked me up again so at least now I’m back at home with my family. I still feel really bad now, for not being there helping out. Whenever it’s the time for my shift and I’m just sat at home instead I feel so guilty for not being there. It doesn’t really help that my sister works for the same store I do, just the one in our hometown, so she is going into work everyday and saying how much there is to do and stuff. 

Former Member

Thank you for the update @Dandelion. The guilt sounds difficult, but I want you to know that this isn't your fault How do you usually cope with gusty feelings, do you have any distractions whilst your sister is at work perhaps? 

Former Member

So, my furlough ran out last weekend meaning that if I don’t get a transfer before next weekend I’ll either have to go back to my uni store or get put on furlough again. I messaged my manager yesterday morning asking if she had heard anything about my transfer yet, but she hasn’t replied yet even though it shows she’s seen the message. I don’t want to message her again and bother her as I know she’s super busy and she might not be replying if she’s still trying to sort it out and stuff. But if I have to go back I’ll need to travel back tomorrow which is a bit last minute. 

Former Member

I just emailed her again I feel awful for bothering her but I really need to know what I’m doing 

Former Member

Hey!
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing?
I'm sure you aren't bothering her have you got any other way of contacting her? Like giving her a call?

Former Member

The only number I have is the absence line, I could call that I guess but I really hate speaking on the phone and a different manager I don’t know could answer instead. She still hasn’t replied though, I don’t really know what to do about it. She’s seen the message I’ve sent her and I’ve emailed the work email which all the managers and HR can see. 

Former Member

Maybe give it a day or 2 and try the number? I can understand that being stressful. Is there anyone who can ring on your behalf?

Former Member

I just got an email back from a different manager not my one saying I’m expected back at work on Saturday. I live around 2 hours away from where I work in my uni town, so I’m going to have to go back tomorrow. Last time I went up a couple of weeks ago they told me the evening before I was meant to go back, after I’d travelled back to my hometown that I didn’t have to work and that I could stay on furlough. So I’m so worried about that happening again, especially as it wasn’t my manager that replied to me. 

Sorry for the rant, I actually don’t know if any of that makes sense I’m just so stressed about it now 

Former Member

Makes sense! Don't worry. I can understand feeling stressed. Sending hugs

Former Member

Thank you @GreenTea luckily my mum has worked things out for me now and helped me think of a plan, so it should hopefully be alright if I do have to go back. 

Former Member

Well done! Hope it goes ok

Former Member

I start back at work tomorrow morning, I’m already so nervous about it even though I don’t really know why. I used to get panic attacks before work before lockdown and I’m so scared that that will happen again. Has anyone got any tips to try and stop this I’ve tried breathing techniques and distractions but nothing seems to work. 

Former Member

I’m back from work, it went well. I’m so happy I managed to go and stay for the whole shift I haven’t managed to do that for a pretty long time. 

Former Member

Wow, I am so proud of you @Dandelion! That's great to hear, massive well done to you

Former Member

I had such a shit day at work, I’m so annoyed at myself I don’t even know why I felt so anxious I was fine last weekend, I just annoy everyone with it and everyone finds me so annoying there nothing I can even do about it cause I don’t know why I felt so anxious

Siena

Dandelion said:

I had such a shit day at work, I’m so annoyed at myself I don’t even know why I felt so anxious I was fine last weekend, I just annoy everyone with it and everyone finds me so annoying there nothing I can even do about it cause I don’t know why I felt so anxious

Why do you think everyone finds you annoying? 

I went to work today too. Had shit day too cause I did something wrong and my manager told me off lol. And I stupidly enough agreed to over time next sat for full day

Hugs x

Former Member

Just hate having to ask to be on a different job/ section because I’m too anxious on a till. Sorry you had a shit day too. A customer got annoyed at me today too, because apparently asking her to keep her distance from other customers was treating her like a child, but I was already in a bad mood so it didn’t really bother me. I’m sure your overtime will go quick next week I always find the breaks help to break up the shift a bit x

Siena

Dandelion said:

Just hate having to ask to be on a different job/ section because I’m too anxious on a till. Sorry you had a shit day too. A customer got annoyed at me today too, because apparently asking her to keep her distance from other customers was treating her like a child, but I was already in a bad mood so it didn’t really bother me. I’m sure your overtime will go quick next week I always find the breaks help to break up the shift a bit x

I thought you liked the tills?
theres always going to be that one rude customer unfortunately:/

I let someone use the staff toilets and not allowed:// one time store manager is walking around lol 🤦🏻‍♀️

Did you know got a pay rise tho recently increased to about 50p an hour which all adds up ah
i hope. Regret it now! But my friend kept talking about me doing over time with her ah so felt pressured 

I work in kids boys because it’s the quietest part of the shop!

Former Member

I’ve never really loved tills that much though I thought I would since lockdown as it would be a lot quieter but I don’t really know I just didn’t feel good on their today. I ended up queue marshalling which I actually found okay. 

If I was that customer I definitely would have appreciated being allowed to go to the toilet in someways it’s better to let them then the customer getting annoyed because you’ve said no. 

Kids if defo a good place to work as it’s normally quieter though having said that it was mad upstairs in our store today