Just not Happy

Nitwam

I don;t even know where to start but ill give it ago so sorry if half of this makes no sense.

Latley i haven't been happy at all or even feeling myself, I dont enjoy anything i used to and i just have no appitite. I cant even remember when it started but it feels like its been so long since i felt myself. Ive been suffering from really bad anxiety and most days will just be in bed crying and looking at the ceiling. 

Due to how ive been feeling i lost someone i was really close to, someone who honestly meant the world to me as i couldn't be there for them when she needed me due to struggling with my own emotions and then giving off a horrible negative with a bit of a negative attitude. I fully blame myself for how they are feeling as i wasnt strong enough to get through my own emotions and help them when i was the only person they could count on. We still talk but it isnt the same, i want to tell them how im feeling and be honest to them but i know it will just make them feel even worse so im having to bottle up all of my feelings as i need to be stronger for them. 

I'm at the point where i really dont know what kind of person i am anymore as all my negatives have been pointed out to me and i really cant see what is good about me. I know i need to change in order to be happier, have less of a negative thought process and less of a negative attidude but i dont know how to do that, i feel lost and cant begin to think how i can improve myself. I wanna be better and happier for myself then work on being there for others but i feel so helpless and alone.

Thats pretty much it, probably made no sense but had to get it out as it was too much to handle 

Stephanie

Hey @Nitwam

Sending hugs  

It's really positive that you are reaching out for support, we are here for you. 

Sorry to hear that you lost somebody you was close too, it sounds like you are going through a difficult time, but we care about you and are here for you

Do you have any support in place? 

Have you got any interests/hobbies? Things you could maybe try to do as distractions to help when you are struggling

It's okay to focus on yourself, and get support before you can try and be there for others. There is a quote "you can't pour from an empty cup" 

It's important to take care of yourself first, self-care is important.

Do keep us posted on how you are doing, we're here for you

Gemma1

Hi @Nitwam

I'm sorry to hear that you've not been feeling like yourself, it can be an awful experience and it's common sometimes that people can end up accidentally distancing yourself from someone you care about. It doesn't make you a bad person or friend, it's completely understandable to focus on how you're struggling with your own emotions sometimes, even if you don't realise it at the time. As @Stephanie said, 'you can't give from an empty cup' - taking care of yourself is really important, it's very difficult to help someone if you can't help yourself. I'm wondering if you've considered sharing that you're struggling with this friend and trust they will understand and you could try to support each other together?

It's can be difficult to know where or how to start when trying to think more positively about yourself. It's important to know that it can take time and a lot of negotiation with yourself. It's not something that comes instantly so you will sometimes have better days than other but that doesn't ever mean you're failing or can't do it.

Sometimes it helps to start small, and just focus on one thing at a time that you want to improve or be better about yourself. You are not alone, we are here for you and you're always stronger than you think.